Salubrious part 39

Something about the night felt heavy, it was not unlike other times when Allan felt suffocated by the empty space between his consciousness and the darkness, but tonight it was especially difficult to find grounding.

In between dreaming and awake, he heard low, clicking noises that sounded like his front door.

‘My front door?’ He panicked. ‘Is someone breaking in or is it a large insect clicking nearby?’

Where was he exactly? He opened his eyes and saw the familiar calmness of his old apartment. So perfectly organized, so bare, so perfectly composed. The kind of clean that Charlie would hate.

And even worse, so deathly, morgue-style quiet. Except the clicking noise.

Everything looked the same but the way it all felt was wrong. He knew last night Charlie came home late…

Then why was he here at his old apartment? He didn’t really live here anymore. This didn’t make sense. Why was he by himself?

The clicking became louder. The door started shaking violently. Someone was trying to open it.

“Open the door. Let me in. Let me in!”

Allan’s whole body fell back in terror, his eyes closed shut, trying to pretend that it will all go away when he opened his eyes.

“No. No, no, no, no, nonono!” Allan muttered as his breath became heavy and close together.

“Oh I forgot. I have the master key, ahghaha,” the voice said, opening the door with a small click.

“Are you a giant insect? Please be a gross giant bug…” Allan whispered to himself, going into the fetal position near his kitchen table. The table seemed to droop over him, melting like a distorted painting but then growing teeth, trying to slowly pull him inward.

He clawed out, silently tearing away from the grip.

Just then he had a small glimpse of who it was.

“…” Allan couldn’t speak.

“You knew you couldn’t run away from me for too long, Allan! You have to know that I’ll do anything, anything, ANYTHING to spend time with you.”

Allan knew who it was but refused to acknowledge it. Where was Charlie?

Where was he?, Allan thought in a terrified moment, thinking he was probably asleep nearby. His mind was picturing packing tape and a softly complaining Charlie when he realized... “Oh my… Charlie! Get out of here! Wake up! Wake up!”

The colors around him muddled into a dark gray mush, and the voice laughed hysterically.

He suddenly noticed a long knife that was dripping blood.

Allan stood up, pale and beyond stunned, he felt faint and fearful something happened to his boyfriend.

“That can’t be Charlie’s…. No,” Allan strained in a tight, painful whisper, holding onto his head as his breath became fast.

Suddenly, as he stood up, he saw a flash of yellow. And red.

Allan couldn’t scream, yell, or barely breathe, feeling like all sound had been taken out of him like a vacuum.

He ran over to…

His eyes focused on the ground, where the body was. He couldn’t make out the details but the brilliant yellow skin shot out of him even more vividly than ever, making his heart beat pound violently in his throat. And he felt his feet soaked in something wet, warm and gooey.

Allan made a quietly grossed out face by the sight and feel under his feet but he had to figure out who was there on the ground. His heart knew already but he couldn’t bear to accept it.

He gingerly turned the body over, and he jumped back, eyes wide in horror. He was startled by the face. It was Charlie’s face, Allan characterized, but the soft expression of sarcasm, dumb humor, annoyingly exaggerated gestures and sweetness was not there anymore. All of it was gone.

Allan felt his whole body convulse into a overwhelming sob, falling over a bloodless, lifeless frame.

The clicking noise came back. Steadily, annoyingly, loudly.

Allan looked up at the ceiling. It was the ceiling fan. The same one that dropped on Charlie’s bed last night… almost hitting them dead on.

“Wait, this can’t be… where is this… this isn’t Charlie, no, it can’t be… that’s…” Allan’s mind frantically tried to tie himself to what he remembered and what was happening.

“Now you have to play Burnout Revenge. I’ll get the diet soda! Ahaha,” the landlord said casually.

The clicking noise got louder, so loud it drowned out everything around him.

“What?” Allan asked, looking at his old landlord with clearer vision. More like, his psychotic stalker.

“Baby, calm down.”

Allan heard the voice, sounding familiarly congested and confused, but it was far away.

“Baby, he’s not here. He’s in prison. Allan!”

Suddenly he was jolted awake.

He felt warm arms holding him. The dark of night covered them in shadow. But Allan heard the shaky, nasally breath and instantly knew.

“Ch-Charlie?”

“Yeah. It’s me. Damn, you must’ve woken up the whole complex. The way you were screaming. Holy smokes. I thought my pacemaker would burst from the stress.”

“Are we.. here.. where are we?”

“We’re at your apartment. Remember? I came home late after hanging with Pim. You were.. you barricaded yourself from our bedroom after the ceiling fan almost killed me,” Charlie said with a short puff. “You know I would’ve shuffled my body to protect you from the stupid fan if it came down to it, like a huge rhino. I’d be the ultimate alpha male if I were a rhino, dude. You were never in danger.”

“Did we.. why?”

Charlie frowned. “Did you hit your head? You sound like you have temporary memory issues like when Pim and I went to space and crashed out on hard alien drugs.. those dudes know how to party.” He sat up, gently rubbing Allan’s back, “I still don’t recall everything from that night.”

“Oh,” Allan said. He looked at the haphazardly packed boxes, packing tape and all his possessions and dishes on the floor. “You were trying to help me get my stuff?”

“It was a late night mission. Or something, I don’t know. You felt like the landlord was going to steal your stuff or something so we left late, like at one in the morning… damn, I’m a good boyfriend. You were having panic attacks, honey.”

“Fuck. I dreamed you got murdered by my old landlord. And then he got diet soda. It’s all blurry.”

Charlie looked at him concerned. “Diet soda after murder? I’d go for a regular Coke if I did something like that. Fuck the calories.”

Allan laughed. “You’re stupid. I kind of love that about you, though.”

“I’m stupid for you,” Charlie nuzzled his face into Allan’s neck, making him purr and chuckle.

“Also, sweetie, we might need to get a restraining order and a therapist. Just in case.”

Allan nodded, feeling relief but still shaking from the terror. Charlie held him tight, kissing his forehead.

“Now… Let’s get your shit outta here. I’m hungry. Let me buy us something to eat…”

Charlie’s familiar voice hit him with a deep wave of safety. They packed everything up, and left holding hands.

Allan turned off the ceiling fan with a quick switch as they left the old apartment forever.

Suddenly, Charlie got a call.

“It’s Pim,” Charlie said, answering it as they loaded everything in the car.

“Fuck. Are you sure? This can’t be happening..”

Allan looked over at an increasingly frazzled Charlie.

“Okay, man. Thanks for giving us the heads up. We will be careful. Yeah we can see you soon to regroup. Yeah. Love you too.”

Charlie hung up.

“He’s out, honey. I’m so sorry. We will think of something. I’ll…” Charlie started. Allan frowned, his heart beating fast. Charlie helped him in the car.

“Let’s go home, Allan. We will make it through this.”

The sturdy, caring wording of his boyfriend anchored Allan, yet the terror leaking out from his surreal nightmare to his stark reality soaked in.

He looked at the road ahead as a dark heading, even as he had his love to hold him tight.