Salubrious part 24

The lunch at Salty’s went better than expected. They had a nice time, joking and just trying to relax. Allan had wanted to discuss more of the finer points of their relationship, but in the spirit of trying to be more open, he only brought up one point.

Charlie was ordering for him at Salty’s, as Allan had nervously said, “Do they have any real food here?”

Charlie made a clicking noise, pointing at him with a silly grin and said, “I gotcha covered, man. Go find a spot to sit.”

The lip stick stains were still on Charlie’s face. It made Allan feel giddy that Charlie didn’t wipe them off.

“So, the thing you gave me? I tried to look it over when you were pulling weeds.”

Allan nodded, feeling a sense of solidarity with Charlie for that comment.

“There is a lot of clauses,” he laughed with a slightly nervous tone. “Like you thought of everything. But, there’s something missing. Like saying the most important part.”

“What’s that?” Allan asked, as Charlie handed him a soda.

“The whole, you know, sappy stuff. Like how girlfriends bring up anniversaries, vibes, stuff like that.” Charlie rubbed the back of his neck.

Allan brightened, “Oh that. So, in section two-A, you’ll see that there’s a blank line that specifies date of conception.”

Charlie gave him a dumbfounded expression. “What the fuck. I never… Allan, how was I supposed to know that?”

“That’s the date that we started dating. When we became official,” Allan gave him a look that said, “Come on man get your damn batteries on.”

“Okay? That’s fine, so when can we talk to everyone? Are you ready to just announce this shit now when we get back to work?”

Allan frowned. “I’m already ready.”

“Cool.”

“That wasn’t the point. I wanted us to both be ready. Does that make sense, Charlie?”

Charlie took in a sharp breath. “I mean, I was ready…”

They both looked at each other. Charlie sighed.

“Yeah I was a bit hasty.”

Allan nodded. “You were.” Allan straightened as their food was called at the front register.

“I’ll get it,” Charlie ran over to get the food and sat down. “Okay. Back. Here’s your food.” He pushed the tray over and Allan begrudgingly took it, looking disgusted at it. He poked the paper wrapper over the burger and blanched.

“It won’t come alive and eat you, babe,” Charlie joked.

“You called me babe. Is that your official pet name for me?”

Charlie gave him a disbelieving look, chuckling, “What?”

“The Clause where we write down our official pet names for each other.”

Charlie laughed again, “You’re … you gotta be shitting me.”

Allan grimaced. “No I am not shitting you. So, I do want to discuss one thing.”

“What?” Charlie said with a stuffed mouth of burger.

“Eeww, that’s gross. Don’t be gross, Charlie.”

Charlie swallowed his food fast. “Sorry.”

“We’re a sure thing, right? We aren’t… if an ex tried to get back into your life right now, what would you say?” Allan asked more bluntly what he planned.

Charlie looked like a deer caught in headlights. “Uh.. what… I’m not going to fucking cheat on you, dude. I don’t do that crap. That’s for effing losers.”

Allan felt a soft smile hit his whole face. “You made fireworks in my brain.”

Charlie laughed. “You made the dying mouse in my chest come back alive.”

Allan gave him a flustered look of surprise. “Did the mouse have nice cheese to eat?”

Charlie nodded. “Sure thing. It’s that fancy shit too.” Allan grinned.

Thinking back to that lunch earlier that day, Charlie was very excited for the new relationship they started, despite being very opposite in many respects, tried to make sense of their new relationship.

But as Charlie saw things were finally going well, he saw a rather large fork in the road after dinner. It was at a nice steak restaurant, and they were deciding what to order.

“Remember when you would make those weird faces at me when you were feeding me jello?”

Allan gave him a dead pan look. “No. Not really.”

Charlie laughed. “I do. You were looking like you were stuck between constipated and sick. You’d stick out your tongue, and then go cross-eyed trying to get me to eat, you weirdo,” Charlie teased.

Allan smiled lightly. “You were so annoying those days.”

Charlie nodded. “You’re the nurse from hell,” He continued, “You adjusted my pillows like you were packing me in a box for UPS.”

Allan nodded, “You needed to be contained.”

Charlie laughed, giving him a funny look.

“Would you two like some wine?” The waitress asked. “Or perhaps a signature cocktail today?”

Charlie nodded. “Sure. We can just have a bottle. If that’s okay with you, Allan?”

Allan nodded. “Okay. We want the bruschetta appetizer and the Poutine.”

“Ok, I’ll get that fired up soon. Red or white wine?” The waitress asked.

“Red,” Charlie answered. Allan flinched ever so gently, rearranging the utensils on the table.

Charlie noticed the slight change in Allan, trying to get his attention for a moment, “What is that?”

“What?” Allan whispered back, still focusing on the forks and spoons.

“That last thing you ordered?”

“It’s fries and gravy,” Allan said with an eye roll. “The menu says what it is.”

The waitress gives the duo a glance, “Do you need more time to go over your entrees?”

“No. Yes. Charlie?” Allan nervously answered. Charlie gave him a directed look, trying to figure out what was happening.

“We need a minute,” Charlie told her, and she left.

A few minutes later, the silence was starting to feel loud as a server came over pouring the red wine in glasses.

Allan took the wine and barely sipped it, as Charlie put his down, looking concerned.

“Allan? You okay man? You look really … upset.”

Allan shook his head. “No. I’m okay. It’s just.. this feels familiar.”

“In a bad way? Déjà vu?”

Allan frowned. “No, but don’t worry Charlie. I’m okay. I’m having a great time with you here.”

“Dude, listen, if you’re needing me to do something different or if you don’t want to drink, just tell me. I felt like this weird shift after we ordered the wine.”

Allan smiled, reaching out for Charlie’s hand. “I’m fine. I appreciate you.”

Charlie took Allan’s hand and squeezed it. “Sorry about wiping the lipstick stains for dinner. I had a feeling a fancy place like this wouldn’t like me looking like a slut,” Charlie teased. Allan giggled, covering his mouth so he wouldn’t laugh too hard.

“Salty’s is for sluts, is what you’re saying,” Allan teased back.

“Yeah. Basically,” Charlie joked. Allan laughed in a short, soft burst.

“You know, this wine makes me think of you like some stupid classy poem,” Charlie started. “I actually think red is my favorite color. It’s… you know, sexy.”

Allan blinked. “Uh, yeah. Okay. Can you get the waitress? I want to order now.”

Charlie nodded, still feeling somewhat concerned. He flagged down their waitress and they ordered dinner as she gave them the appetizers.

Allan eyed Charlie a bit suspiciously which seemed benign at first but it got worse. He kept giving Charlie weird side glances.

Charlie felt things needed to change so he decided on a change of scenery.

“Fresh air?” Charlie offered, walking hand and hand to the beach. Allan looked tense, walking down the boardwalk with a eerie look.

There was a live band playing outside. “Charlie, please don’t ask me to dance.”

Charlie gave him an offended look. “I don’t dance, Allan. Where did you get that idea?”

Allan laughed, looking almost relieved.

Getting down to the beach, Charlie took off his shoes. “My dogs are barking, man. I need to air them out,” Charlie said causally, lying on the sand.

“Oh, that’s weird,” Allan said to himself, also lying on the sand.

Charlie tried to relax but he felt the whole date went so weirdly.

“Allan?”

“Yeah?”

They looked at each other. “I just want you to know I really… I really like spending time with you. It’s like a break from all the crazy shit that happens to me.”

Allan gave him a forced smile. “Next you’ll tell me you like my tummy.”

Charlie sat up, feeling heavily taken out of the moment. “Allan? Come on man, tell me what is up.”

“Nothing..”

“No, not nothing. Tell me.”

Charlie got up trying to stand, but tripped a bit, falling on Allan. They suddenly were tumbling over each other. Allan somehow gets on top of Charlie.

“Shit. Sorry. I didn’t…” Allan apologized.

Charlie gave him a roguish look. “Allan you scoundrel. You gonna kiss me with that weirdo mouth or not?”

Allan couldn’t help but smile. “Why yes, the full moon is making me feel wild about your stupid yellow face.”

Charlie grabbed him by the tie, pulling their mouths together, kissing hard and holding Allan by the waist.

“Uh..” Allan muttered, looking out for something in the distance in a scared way. Charlie kept making out with an abruptly resigned Allan, until he covered his face, starting to uncontrollably cry.

Charlie immediately stopped. “Whoa whoa. What happened? Did I hurt you? Fuck.” He put his hands up as if he were waving a white flag. “Allan? Oh holy cow.”

He went over and tried to console Allan.

“Oh my God. I’m so sorry. Allan? Please dude what happened?”

“I need to get out of here,” Allan said in a small voice.

“Absolutely. Let’s go. Fuck this dumbass beach. It’s so dumb with its romantic themes.”

Allan chuckled in between the crying.

Driving home, Allan stopped him, “Can we go to your place?”

Charlie nodded.

“Okay, let’s go,” Charlie quietly drove to his apartment.

Charlie gently lead him to his apartment and then the couch. Allan was still crying.

“Christ. I.. I’ll make you tea. You want tea? You need… blanket?”

“Hold me,” Allan choked out.

Charlie nodded, sitting next to Allan, putting an arm around him. Suddenly, Allan was crawling into his lap, lying on his chest. Charlie felt a warm sensation over his whole body.

“Oh Allan, what happened?” He said softly, not expecting him to answer.

They adjusted their position and Allan held onto Charlie snugly. Allan quietly laid there, calming down slowly. Charlie put his arms around him, pulling him closer toward his chest.

Allan soon fell asleep. Charlie followed, trying to catch up with the strange and scary turn of events. The night whispered into day as the new couple tried to process the truth behind the frantic fork in the road.