Salubrious part 12

Inside Allan Red’s sheets, the temperature was rising dangerously. For both of them, it felt like things were going almost too fast even though it felt like an agonizingly long time before they finally got their first kiss.

Charlie keeps replaying the same scene in his head, and it felt like a complete fantasy even as they kept kissing each other under Allan’s sheets.

“I don’t think I can share you after this. I really want it to be for keeps. If that’s what you want,” Allan had said to him, his eyes softened, only focused on him. It made him feel so warm, as though he were a bun inside of Allan’s oven heart.

As Charlie and Allan were still fully clothed, which somehow made the tension worse.

Allan smiled in that strange way he did when he was about to say something either deeply sincere or completely insane.

“Now it might be a good time to start touching me.” Allan proposed as he smiled sweetly.

Charlie laughed. “Is that smile because of me?” Allan nodded.

“Then fuck yes.”

The intimacy was suddenly shut down with a heavy, loud set of knocks at the door.

Allan blanched, immediately getting up in a panic.

Charlie felt the dynamic was instantly changed from the hot red velvet in his mind to cold, stale industrial gray as he fixed his pants and stood up, following Allan to the front door.

“God damn-it, I hope it is not my Landlord…” Allan muttered.

Charlie woke up fully to that statement, “You mean the crazy one that dressed up like a pretty woman just to date.. I mean hang out with you?”

Allan nodded, looking annoyed, tense and a little embarrassed.

“There is only one crazy landlord I know.”

The door opened to an unexpected guest.

“Pim?” Charlie saw the familiar pink critter.

“Oh hey Charlie! Heya Allan!” Pim’s friendly voice made them both feel instantly relieved. However, that didn’t last to Charlie, as Pim, upon more intense scrutiny and close examination, appeared far from okay.

“Come in, why don’t yew,” Allan said politely, and Pim hurriedly went inside the apartment.

“Pim! What the heck!” Charlie exclaimed, looking shocked.

Pim had blood splattered on his shirt and cheek.

“Eew, Pim, whose blood is that? Do you need medical attention?” Allan asked, trying to stay calm but he struggled to keep his leg from shaking.

Pim took in a deep breath, shaking his head, “Uh, guys, so you know that goblin that Allan killed?”

“A goblin? Oh you mean the sock goblin…what.. Pim… are you.. what the hell happened?” Charlie came over to Pim looking him over for injury’s but saw none.

“Oh thank goodness,” Charlie said under his breath, quietly going over to a scared Pim to look at him closer. (Charlie proceeded to inspect Pim’s eyes, mouth, teeth, eye lids, arms, legs. Pim complied but looked flustered.) It looked comical to Allan but he remained cautiously aware of his surroundings.

“What about the goblin?” Allan asked in a perturbed voice.

“Apparently it was your Landlord, Allan. He was still dressed up in the goblin costume, bloody, and came up to me, looking for you last night. I didn’t tell him where you two were at. He got angry.”

Allan got a clean washcloth from his cabinet, putting warm water on it from the kitchen sink.

“Here, Pim, clean yourself off. Do you want me to do your laundry?” Allan handed the washcloth to Pim, who sullenly took it.

Pim shook his head, “No thank you Allan that’s very sweet …but, listen, I tried to warn you about it. I called both of you, left voicemails. Texts! You two didn’t respond.”

Charlie frowned, looking at his phone in his pocket, looking at twenty missed calls and thirty texts from Pim, saying to himself, “Shit I need to check my phone more often.”

“Dude, Allan and I.. we worked shit out, man, so if it was about that…” Charlie started stumbling over his explanation, still trying to ascertain if Pim was hurt.

“No that wasn’t it obviously,” Pim rolled his eyes, trying to explain.

“Dude, can you open your mouth wider?”

Pim groaned. “Charlie…”

“Dude, now. Do it, I need to check if you have like a brain injury or something …”

Pim shoved Charlie a bit, “I appreciate your concern Charlie but stop poking at me! And no, it wasn’t about that though I was worried about that too, in the background..”

Charlie had been physically examining his friend to make sure he wasn’t hurt still but Pim looked increasingly more concerned and worried.

“Charlie just come sit down, relax. I will make us all caufeeee,” Allan took Charlie by the hand and walked him over to the couch, where they briefly exchanged a look.

“Man, Pim is pissed. I fucked up or something…” Charlie muttered to himself.

Allan whispered, “You worry too much, Pim just needs a warm bev-a-rage.”

“It was so domestically adorable how you got that washcloth ready for Pim and offered to do his laundry, man, wow. You are just so hospitable,” Charlie commented back.

Allan grinned, bumping shoulders with Charlie awkwardly. “Why, Thank you, Charlie.”

“You’re so welcome, man,” Charlie gave Allan a weak thumbs up, still feeling a whirl of anxiety from their earlier encounter.

Allan leaned toward, pecking Charlie quickly on the cheek. Nervously, Charlie backed away, making Allan almost fall on the floor.

“Shit, sorry!” Charlie fumbled, helping him up.

Allan frowned, “I’m fine,” he said in a thin voice, wringing his hands tighter together as he stood up.

“Oh my goodness you two are in love!” Pim squealed, having watched the entire scene in front of him with mild disbelief and surprise.

Charlie chuckled nervously, “Eh? No we’re not.”

Allan shrugged, “We can save that arc for next season.”

Charlie gave him a strange look, “What arc? What the… what is he talking about Pim? I don’t know what he’s going on about…” Charlie fiddled with his phone, pretending to look at something.

“Maybe we’re that one couple on television everyone criticizes for getting together too early,” Allan commented, side eyeing Charlie in a knowing way.

“Dude, what the hell are you even saying?” Charlie asked quietly to Allan, who didn’t respond.

Pim shrugged. “You two are acting like something is up. Are..” Pim looked at the odd pair of friends, looking nervous, and he smiled. “You two are dating now, aren’t you?”

“See Pim, this is why I tell you that you need glasses. You’re blind as a bat, man. You’re seeing shit that ain’t there. We just had a.. a weird morning. Also, what’s going on with the landlord goblin guy? What did you want to warn us?”

Allan squinted, giving Charlie an annoyed look. “Didn’t you just do that one thing..”

“Uh, oh my god, Pim you left the door open!” Charlie yelled over Allan’s words. Allan frowned.

“No he didn’t Charlie. Stop deflecting. You’re being kinda of a jerk,” Allan said.

Pim looked at the two, and sighed. “I didn’t, Charlie. You’re acting so weird.”

Allan nodded. “I agree. I’m going to make that hot bev-a-rage now.”

As Allan turned, they all heard the front door creak open.

“Fack,” Allan said, frozen in his tracks.

“Allan! I am back, agahahaha! You’re not going to have another excuse for not hanging with me so easily this time!” The landlord yelled, covered in dried blood, new fresh blood and a half torn and broken goblin costume.

“So he was pretending to be the goblin that ruined my socks? Man what the fuck. That takes a weird commitment just to get Allan’s attention,” Charlie said in a dead pan voice.

“Shut up! You got your turn with Allan and all your stupid fancy cheeses!” The landlord hysterically said. Charlie gave him a disturbed look, feeling angrier at the landlord’s suggestion.

“How’d he know about the cheese, man?” Charlie asked Allan offhandedly. Allan shrugged, not responding verbally, crossing his arms. Before Charlie could comment on Allan’s sudden coldness, Pim chimed in.

“Yeah I mean, it’s one thing to try and hang out to play video games but another to dress up like a goblin that eats socks,” Pim agreed.

“Where did that new blood even come from?” Charlie asked, though he was terrified of the answer. The landlord didn’t respond, looking at everyone menacingly.

Allan suddenly yelled, “Look out! He’s got a knife!”