Rent's Going to Be Late (Again)

He always imagined what it would be like to not have to worry all the time. Worried about next month’s medication costs, or if he can make the bag of rice stretch until pay day. He had support from his family, but they weren’t in any position to help right now, and he hated feeling like a burden. He was firm in his belief that these moments were only temporary. Money comes, and money goes. But recently he’d been getting really desperate. The end of the month was approaching. And although he was able to convince his roommate to hold off on paying rent until the end of the week, he was still nearly $600 short on what he owed that month. He sat himself down and brainstormed every idea that could possibly make him money between now and when rent was due, no matter how far fetched it was.

Sell shoes and clothes online, sell my vinyl, sit on the street and beg, sit on the street and beg while playing my ukulele, ask to pick up busboy shifts at the Chinese restaurant around the corner, ask my cousin for money (again), sell my books, get a sugar momma, get a sugar daddy, sell drugs, donate my blood/plasma, sell my organs on the black market, take out a life insurance policy on myself and fake my own death.

He went through every item and started crossing off the more impractical ones… but he kept one on there that most people would consider to be on the farther end of impractical. He thought it was honestly ridiculous that he even wrote it down, even more so that he kept it on the list as a possibility. He grabbed his laptop and went onto Facebook Marketplace to see what items people were selling and for how much, just to get an idea of how much he would need to sell. After a couple of hours, he ended up posting a pair of his favorite Vans for sell for only $39 (practically a steal), a few books, and an aloe plant that his sister got for him as a housewarming gift. He couldn’t bare to part with anything else. He didn’t even want to give up these items, he mostly just wanted to see if he’d get any good offers. But he couldn’t stop himself from looking back at the list he made. Wondering to himself how he would make this happen, and thinking how would anyone even find out? He decided to just sleep on it, hoping that maybe he’ll be thinking more clearly in the morning. He shut his laptop, pulled back the covers and cracked open one of the books he put up for sale, wanting to make the most of the final moments. He read it until he dozed off.

He woke up the next morning eager to check his Facebook for any offers. Just one, but it looks like a scammer. He lingers a while and then slowly drags his cursor to the Google Chrome icon on his taskbar. He right clicks the mousepad and opens a new incognito window. And Googles “How to access the dark web”. After reading a few articles he downloads a VPN onto his computer, he follows the instructions from the articles and it leads him to a browser that he’s never seen before. He clicks onto a server and then to one of the links on the list. It was all pretty easy.

On the new page he sees basically the black market equivalent of Amazon. Pretty much anything you could imagine, it was on there to be bought or sold. Drugs, weapons, even counterfeit money. He pulls his cursor over to the search bar and types in “organ” attempting to be as vague and straight forward as possible. The page loads showing 1 of 23,570 results. After scrolling and clicking around he stumbles on a woman looking for someone to sell their spare kidney for her dying father, must be blood type A+, A-, O+, or O-. He reads on about how he’s been on the UNOS organ transplant list for 3 years, his dialysis isn’t helping, and that his doctors don’t give him much time to live. She’s offering $150,000 and then instalments of $10,000 per month for the entire year following the procedure. His head starts spinning and his heart starts pounding at the thought of being set for life with this money. He’d also being able to take care of his family. He would be able to finally move out of the crap apartment he’s been living in for the past year and a half. He could go back to school if he wanted. He could get a passport. Most importantly, he could start shopping for groceries at Trader Joes and Whole Foods, and even get a Costco membership and no longer feel guilty about going back for thirds on the free samples. His world suddenly seemed so open, so full, so wide at just the thought of receiving this money. He clicked on the woman’s profile and sent a message and eagerly awaited her response.

He couldn’t help but check every ten minutes to see if she has opened his message. Mulling over whether someone’s responded to her before him, or if he’s being scammed, or if this person is really a trafficker or something. He couldn’t stop his brain from running. Then a soft ping echoes from his laptop speakers. *New message* He opens the message quickly, scanning the page first for signs of rejection.

“I’m so glad you’ve reached out to me. I know this is incredibly unconventional, but honestly I’m desperate.” “I can’t afford to lose my dad, I’d literally do anything.” “I’m serious and I’m legitimate. And I would be more than open to meeting up just to get to know one another in person if this makes you feel better.” “I want you to feel at ease about this whole process before you agree.” Signed, “Morgan”. He sat back on his bed and looked around his room, which basically held his entire life. This was really happening and everything was about to change.

Over the next few weeks, he donated some blood for a bit of cash while also getting his blood tested, just to make sure he was healthy and had the right blood type to be able to donate to her father. He got some of his meals throughout the week and Uber rides to the clinic paid for by Morgan. She wanted him to be in his best health for this. They had planned to meet up this upcoming Saturday at the Monterey Bay Aquarium. He laughs softly to himself at the fact that he’s lived in this city nearly his entire life and had never once been to the aquarium.

Saturday morning comes. He wakes up before his alarm and starts getting ready for the day. He’s nervous, but excited. Scared but curious. “What am I getting myself into?” he asks himself as he scarfs down the last bites of cereal in his bowl. He finishes getting dressed and then goes to the living room and just sits and waits. He was about 30 minutes early for the time when Morgan said he should be ready for his Uber car. The 30 minutes dragged on, but right on schedule his phone gets a message that his ride will be arriving shortly and that he should come outside. Morgan insisted she orders him a car even though riding BART was more than sufficient, and quite frankly more comfortable for him. The Uber driver blasted the A/C the entire way to the Aquarium, which he hated.

As his driver pulled up to the entrance of the Aquarium, He checks his phone to find a recent message from Morgan saying she would be a little late and that she’s stuck in traffic. She told him to go ahead inside and wait for her at the café. He knew he had about 20 minutes to spare so he figured he’d walk around to calm his nerves before heading to the café. He found his way into a long glowing blue tunnel, with glass on all sides. He was able to see every shark, stingray, and fish that swam around him.

He stood there almost frozen by everything. All the things that were happening to him over the past few days, it was paralyzing. His eyes began flooding with tears, blurring his vision. Feeling overwhelmed he made a run for it. Ran right out of the entrance and past the parking lot. And he kept running until his body told him to quit. He felt such immense shame. Shame that he was letting Morgan and her father down, shame that he couldn’t just follow through with his promises, shame that he was even desperate enough to be in this position. Shame that he couldn’t even tell anyone about this. He had gone too far, gotten in too deep, he was drowning in his decisions. He didn’t know what to do next. And of all the things running through his mind in that moment, the only thing he could think to do was pull his phone out of his pocket and text his roommates, “rent’s gonna have to be late again this month, sorry guys.” And press send.