Realities Seams

Fuck, another sleepless night.” He thinks calmly while his eyesight is locked on the ceiling of his bedroom. His gaze breaks only to see the graffiti covered walls of confinement conjoined at the corners. Strange how plaster and drywall can hold countless memories, the good, the bad, and every shade in-between. His mind then begins to drift into a frenzy of meaningless chatter until he decides a

cigarette and a glass of water is the most satisfying option to peruse in the current moment.

In a single fluid motion, his body rotates, and his feet are planted firmly on the floor. He drifts effortlessly through his bedroom door towards the stairs of his childhood home. Navigating his home had become muscle memory after countless hours spent within these walls. The staircase quickly appears before him and his decent commences. During this habitual act of repetition, it soon becomes apparent that something feels off. Almost as if he had been walking in place with making any progress. What should take only a moment becomes a nightmarishly long process.

Feeling stagnant in his movements, he bring his awareness to his surroundings. “I wonder what time it is. Guess I should have peeped at the clock before I went downstairs.” He takes notice of the overall darkness of his home, “Must be like 2am.” As he concludes the approximate time, he suddenly recalls how parched he is. “Oh yea, water…” When he remembers the task at hand, his stagnation comes to a halt.

Finally reaching the bottom of the stairs he turns left, making his way into the living room. As his feet follow the rhythm of movement, he reaches the laundry room directly to his left. To the right is the living room, which happens to connect directly to his kitchen. He feels a chill as his focus is directed to the backdoor. It’s cracked enough to allow a slight breeze into the house. The aroma of freshly cooked bacon becomes the focal point of his attention now. His father is standing over the stove preparing to make eggs for this early breakfast that was in the works.

“Hey dad, you have an extra smoke by any chance?” He asks nonchalantly. His father replies sarcastically “No, last I checked only 20 cigs were in my pack. So, I can’t say I have an extra one, but I do have cigarettes. They’re in the garage. Go for it.”

That’s not a response he’s accustomed to hearing, but it gave a light feeling to the previously ominous atmosphere of the night. ”Thanks dad, that’s actually a pretty good one.” He said as a slight grin emerged on his face.

The garage door comes into his perception as he makes his back towards the laundry room. Passing through the door he sees the broken washing machine and dryer that occupy the right side of that small room, he continues onward due to garage access being placed within that same space.

Entering the garage, the scent of breakfast food is quickly replaced by tobacco smoke lining the inside of his nostrils. The garage was poorly illuminated by a single light nearing the end of its lifespan. As His eyes begin to adapt to the sudden shift in scenery, he finds a familiar face take form.

With his eyes now viewing the external world clearly, he finds his father sitting behind a cloud of smoke a few feet in front of him. “Hey dad I Thought you were making breakfast, when did you get in here ?” he asks as his brain subconsciously scans his immediate surroundings.

“I just wanted a smoke, so I came in here and sparked one up.” His father replied carelessly. During the minute or so in the garage he saw the side door to his left was open. This door leads to the backyard and it takes about the same amount of time to get into the garage from the living room if you walk through the backyard.

Relief started to overcome his state of being as he reaches for a cigarette. Without anymore thought he walks to the side door, brings s small flame to his cig and says “Yea, that makes sense.” He walks into the backyard and exhales a cloud of toxic , bringing a deep sense of peace that comes from completion of a task.

No thoughts plagued his mind, no problems of the past, or worries of the future. Its as if he simply exists, nothing more , nothing less. He starts to round the exterior corner of the house when a loud buzzing sound becomes audible without warning. This noise penetrates his ear drums and echoes throughout his inner stillness. The backyard starts to materialize, and the origin of the sound starts revealing itself as a reciprocating saw . Stuck in what can only be described as a deep trance he watches intently, as the spinning blade rotates vigorously. One piece of wood becomes two, the smaller piece falls into the pile of freshly cut wood below. The smell of familiarity fills the air surrounding him. Sawdust, the scent his father would carry home after a long day of work when he was child. Childhood memories were now flooding his mental process and the trance fades away.

His father stands above a pile of wood with this saw in hand. Panic starts to present itself to the moment. “Dad are you screwing with me right now?!”

Looking up with a confused expression he replies “No, what are you talking about? Why would I be messing with you dude?”

Panic slowly turns to anxiety, his brain is grasping at straws trying to rationalize this experience. “Uhhh, something just doesn’t feel right dad. I think I need to go lay down.” He turns to the back door and moves into the living room. He then sees the garage door open. His father walks through the door and makes eye contact.

Anxiety changes rapidly into a confused state of terror. His heartbeat intensifies and his inside turn. Looking into the kitchen he can see his father looking directly at him. Losing balance, the floor is now the only thing in his visual field. Unable to comprehend the current situation he crawls in the direction of the stairs. He finds his footing and slowly rises to his feet. He looks over to the living room and observes his father in three separate places, preforming three separate tasks, simultaneously. Trying to speak he opens his mouth, only to find he’s unable to arrange a suitable sentence.

Now this feeling of pure fear and uncertainty reaches a new level of intensity. Reality was literally spinning around him increasing in speed with each passing moment. He feels his body fall backwards and before there was a chance to think he found himself flying up the stairs into his room. He is confronted with the visual of his sleeping body while he hovers above it. In the blink of an eye he wakes up in his bed.

A drowning sensation is coupled with a rapid heartbeat and cold sweat.

“What the hell just happened?”

Was that a dream? It seemed more real then normal life does. Damn, I can’t seem to catch my breath and my heart feels like its on the verge of exploding. I need to stay calm and think about this rationally, I mean there must be an explanation. What time is it right now? 4:43 AM. No, wait just turned to 4:44.

Hold on wait! Was that an “out of body experience”? I remember I was trying to consciously experience this a while back. Oh yea! I remember reading about some trippy shit and started meditating in order to see if any of it was real. I dedicated 3 months and nothing remotely close to this happened.

Seeing 3 dads at the same time was something entirely different too. I’ve never even heard of anything like that before. (Yawn) either way there’s not much I can do to figure this out right now and I’m thoroughly exhausted. I should probably just…

Close my….

Eyes and…

Get a bit…

Of rest….

The sun enters through the window of his bedroom. A ray of light emerges through a crack in the blinds and shines on his left eyelid. Slowly regaining his consciousness after a dreamless rest, he opens his eyes.

Memories of the previous night start flashing in his head. Every second of this strange experience seems to replay until its eventually etched into his memory. He looks over to his desk to see what time it is.

The alarm clock reads 11:11AM. Without hesitation his eyes shut again, and he makes a wish. As a child his mother told him if he ever happens to look at the time and its 11:11 he should make a wish. She never gave a reason why he should do this, and he never questioned it. It was one of those things you just did because it felt right.

Let’s see…

That insane “OBE” experience is really messing with my head. I wish I could understand why it happened. I wish I knew what it means.

His mind starts to become blank. Feeling an urge to breathe deeply he becomes extremely relaxed. He can only seem to focus on his breathe at this moment. In through the nose filling the belly with positive energy. Out through the mouth Exhaling any Tension and negative energy. In, Out, In, Out.

After a few minutes a stillness becomes present. Absence of thought, sense of self starts to dissolve. A light starts to shine inside of his mind through the darkness. Conscious thinking starts to return, and questions arise.

What is my name? Why can’t I remember anything? Am I dead? I feel like this has happened before. I can’t understand anything, am I insane?

Wait, my name is Shade. I’m 22 years old. I think I’m supposed to be driving to work right now. Wait, what the fuck is going on?!

Focus shifts back into his present reality and the pieces begin to connect. He was reliving experiences from his teenage years. Days of memories were experienced in a single moment. Time became irrelevant.

Due to extreme fatigue, emotional buildup, and unhealthy stress, he suffered from a condition known as Highway Hypnosis.

This causes the brain to essentially shut down during long drives. The driver can fall into a trance like state unable to react in dangerous situations. In particularly severe cases it could be compared to driving a car blackout drunk.

When he finally breaks the trance, he is only seconds away from rear ending a car stopped in a traffic jam. Going 70mph down the freeway, he accepts what just happened. His life was flashing before his eyes. Enough time to take one deep breath and then….

Fear, Violent shaking, regret, Darkness….