Rather Handsome

Nobody can hear a scream in the vacuum of space, or so they say.

For years I traveled alone in my cold and desolate spacecraft, twisting and turning through the darkness of space. I didn't know where I was headed. My navigator had been destroyed once I had separated from my mothership. I wish I could say I remember my disconnection like it was yesterday, and although I do remember it, I could feel every waking moment afterwards - time stretching more and more as I became lost in time. I don't think I could tell when yesterday was, or when tomorrow would be, or if I was even present myself. Originally, I was to be sent from the mothership to investigate a new planet, and when I became ready to launch in my vessel, something imploded in the mothership's rear causing it to spin rather rapidly. Someone must have released me on accident, as my spacecraft ripped off and was involuntarily thrown away from the planet, spinning and swirling through the darkness of space. I was able to stabilize the vessel with the use of its thrusters, but by the time I had it adjusted, I had traveled too far and lost my way.

I don't even know if they are alive. The implosion was far too large for me to believe many survived. Can you imagine my turmoil? To be separated from those I love without knowing if they're safe, it agonized me. But I had time to grieve, or so I thought. As months turned to years I realized I began to lose resources and time. Without my home, I started to die. That was until they found me.

I had never seen a spacecraft such as theirs before. It was both enormous and long, with a white coating and a black nose at the end of it. On its side it bore a symbol of a blue circle with two red lines, which came together to form a sort of arrow. I was amazed, and yet, terrified of its arrival. I mostly hoped their pilots would notice me and provide assistance, but part of me also wanted them to glide right past me, allowing me some peace. The latter, of course, must have never occurred to them, for they had already intercepted my vessel and brought me aboard their ship. When the hatch opened, floating before me was a sort of large bipedal creature with pale skin, blue eyes, and white hair, all behind a bulky white shell with a window to his head. It stared at me for a moment, as if contemplating what to do with me. Our size difference led me to believe it might have considered swallowing me whole. But instead, it presented a container of my size, moving slowly towards me. I did not fight back - there was hardly any reason to, for what better option was there? Plus, the creature seemed... compatible.

I was transported to a receptacle that was only slightly larger than the container the creature originally had me in. All around me were transparent walls that allowed them to observe me in every direction. There were four more of the creatures, each of them having different shades of the same skin, but none of them were as pale as the first. Some of them looked at me with adoration, a few of them with disdain, but all of them showed curiosity in their eyes. I was frightened by what that look would bring. I was frightened by the prison I was put in. I was frightened by the fact that I was still dying. But they did not care. One must not become attached to their test subject after all.

To begin experiments, they first wanted to see how I would react to certain substances. Drops of water were placed into my cell, and in a state of desperate thirst I quickly consumed it off the floor. I felt primitive as they tapped their fingers against a control panel, recording my reaction. Next came another liquid, unknown to me, but it burned me as I ingested it. My innards wrenched and coiled, my optics teared up, my composure gone. I wanted to scream - I thought this would be the end for me. But it was only the beginning. The experiments were continuous. I'd wake up each cycle and they would feed me a new substance, make me roam against a moving floor, move objects from place to place, and then I would rest for but a moment before doing it all again. I became lost in time once again, only now I realized how much I missed being lost in time alone.

They spoke in their language often when in the same space as me. I could hear the same words repeating as they looked at me: 'alien,' 'lifeform,' 'test.' It was easy to understand those words, I heard them every time a new torture came. However, I noticed the pale one wincing ever so slightly as the others spoke this way. Perhaps there was hope for me after all, perhaps one of the creatures showed sympathy for an 'alien.' I quickly realized I could use this, but I just needed to communicate with the pale one. I had no physical method of learning their language, so I decided to try to educate myself vocally. I listened carefully each waking cycle, and when it came time to rest, I practiced speaking. I only managed a few, but after many times I felt it was coming along nicely. That was until I felt my body give out. Time had never been on my side after all, and so it became now or never.

Two creatures came into the space this time, the pale one and a shorter one. I had little faith in the shorter one listening to reason - I needed to speak to the pale one alone. So when the short one brought me objects to move, I refused. I had never refused before out of fear for the consequences, and so I learned that the punishment is a sort of electric shock on the surface of my jail. The pale one reacted furiously to the shorter one. Who punishes those who have done so well for them, after all? The pale one confirmed my confidence in it, and when it gave me the objects instead, I eagerly agreed. The shorter one fumed at the sight of me following the orders of another, and so they scampered off. I had the pale one alone, and once I was sure, I attempted to speak. I tried telling him I was hurt and wanted to stop testing - that I was dying and had little time. As I spoke, I found my voice weaken by the second. I wanted to tell everything: my past, my present, my love, my people, my goal - I hadn't spoke to anyone in years and finally, someone who might take pity on me stood before me and listened. I was an amateur in their dialect though, and my voice didn't reach the pale one at all. The more I think about it, I don't think it would have cared even if it did understand me, for as I spoke, it typed away my confession, putting me on a record as if it was another test. The pale one left the room and gathered the others to show me off like a prize. I wanted to scream, but my strength faltered, and my voice had gone.

I laid on the floor, my body slowly losing its functions. It would be some time before the creatures returned. Perhaps, I thought to myself, I could die before they performed their last experiment on me. But the pale one came in early this time, the undersides of his eyes darkened and his eyelids heavy. I certainly left an impression on him, but it was too late for me to fuel his fun any longer. As he spoke to me - trying to pry me with questions - I lost consciousness, and I saw a place darker than space. It was calming. It was peaceful. I was glad to be alone once more.

And then I woke up. The pale one held me in its hands, its eyes widening as their face expressed excitement after grief. I could feel the skin upon my own, and as I did, energy coursed through me once again. My innards throbbed from the sudden vitality as my body simultaneously relaxed from the warmth of a living organism. The pale one didn't know it, but I had been saved. I had been fed, and I was no longer dying. With a chance like this, there was no choice but to take what I rightfully deserved. Using all the strength I could muster, I sped up the pale one's arm. They tried to swat me off with the other arm, but I was quick enough to avoid it and make it to the ear canal. Nearly every organism has a brain, which means many organisms have an inside my people can utilize. I could hear him scream while inside as I latched onto the brain tissue and enveloped it. I closed my eyes, he struggled, banging his head with his hands until he collapsed. When I opened my eyes, I saw through his instead. It was a peculiar brain, but not too complicated enough for me to understand. I placed his hands and feet against the floor and managed to stand up. Managing to balance was half the trouble, the other half was walking. I never could picture really being a bipedal myself, but I made the proper adjustments and began to walk.

As I walked, his knowledge gradually flowed through me. This creature was referred to as a 'he,' 'him,' and 'Richard.' Pronouns were simple to comprehend, but my people never had names before. Richard was a scientist, an astronaut, a teacher. But most importantly, he and his crew were known as humans. Humans come from Earth, I learned, which is in the Milky way - far off from my kind. I hoped to absorb more of this particular information, but his emotions got in the way. I began to remember alongside him his past, his family, and his friends. It interfered with my absorption and caused me pain. Richard and I grabbed his head, clutching it as if that would prevent the pain. We remembered the restroom across the hall and limped into it. We laid against the sink and we breathed deeply. I was causing Richard pain, and he was annoying me in turn. As a counter, I gave Richard some of my knowledge. My people are not an enemy, I told him. We simply require an organism to survive, and so we search for the perfect kind. I needed to live, and now that I was inside him, he needed to live as well. I could feel him calm as I shared this information with him, and we stood up straight and stared into the mirror. Give me control, I told Richard, and you don't need to worry anymore. I moved his hands and clutched them into a fist. I lifted his right leg, then his left leg. I took his hand and felt his face. I was in full control. I continued to stare into the mirror as I felt his human intelligence seep into me. I must admit, now that I am familiar with human qualities and traits, I felt lucky to have taken Richard. For someone who was considered different among humans for being pale - I now know he's called an albino - I was rather handsome. This was a new feeling, but a welcome one.

I walked back into the laboratory and found a number of tools used on me before. I grabbed the sharp ones and silently moved to the sleeping chamber of the crew. How fortunate, I thought, that they presented themselves to me like this. One by one I killed them, cutting their throats and holding their mouths closed. One of them woke up - the shorter one - as I did it. I know now her name was Linda. I can only imagine the pain Linda experienced as she thought her closest friend killed her. I don't normally take pleasure in killing, but the torture I had been put through did allow me motivation. And the sooner they all died, the sooner my safety was guaranteed. Perhaps I could actually find my people afterwards, I realized. I could finally discover if they were actually safe, and maybe even find those I love. But in the euphoria of it all, I noticed two of the beds empty. One belonged to Richard, the other to another crew member. His name was Earnest. Earnest had never been in the lab, so I had never seen him before - but Richard knew him. Richard showed me who Earnest was, and how he was rather smart, meaning I needed to be smarter to finish him.

Richard shared that Earnest likely stayed up late working in the bay. When I entered the bay, there was no sign of Earnest. Richard could not tell me where else he could be, and so I found myself ready to hunt around the ship. Suddenly, Earnest walked from behind a wall and appeared directly in front of me. He jumped and yelped in horror as he saw me. He asked Richard what was wrong and why he was covered in blood. I looked down to Richard's apparel and realized I had not considered the spilling of the humans insides earlier. In my excitement I was not careful. I told him the alien had gotten loose and was ready to kill us next, and that our only chance to survive was to escape was through the airlocks. He turned and began tapping on the control panel as I walked up to him with a tool in hand, but I had become sloppy once again. There was a window right in front of Earnest that looked deep into space, and upon that window was my reflection as I held the tool high. Earnest turned and caught my arm as I dropped it onto him, then threw me to the side, forcing my tool to drop. Earnest kicked it away. I had not taken into account Earnest's strength, but I had the intelligence to best him. He managed to exhaust Richard's structure by slamming with his fists against me. I blocked only the head, letting the stomach and legs take most of the damage. But Earnest exhausted himself as well, and when I saw an opening, I slammed him against the wall and relentlessly struck him. Next to the airlock was a strap that I equipped as we both drew breath. Earnest had not realized he laid next to the door that lead right into the cold, desolate area of space. When he did, I had opened the airlocked, and he screamed.

They say nobody can hear a scream in the vacuum of space, but I know better. I heard Earnest scream as space pulled him, and I observed how his scream changed. When pulled into space while screaming, the human body collapses faster than normal on the inside. The air escaping his lungs managed to break his bones, causing a strong snapping sound as he flew. I don't believe I will ever forget that sound. Richard began to resist me in that moment, as if he thought he might break free now that everyone was dead. But I needed him a bit longer, regardless of what he thought. I lost control for only a second, and he let out a scream. A scream that no one but me would hear across the galaxy.