Raise a Prosecco Glass to America!
A Last Minute Entry For Lana V Lynx's "Raise a Glass to America" Unofficial Challenge
Happy Birthday, my old friend!
"Old" — chuckles — Hello, "Roman Empire" here... am I right? But it's not a competition.
Today is all about you.
So I'll gloss over Columbus and Amerigo.
Let's talk about your achievements.
Like, dumping tea in the ocean or buying a peace prize from the FIFA club. Football isn't exactly Nobel... I guess you didn't realize it because you call it "soccer".
Impressive!
Couldn't win WWII without "your" atomic bomb. The one "your" man Fermi developed. No radio without "your" Marconi. No blue "jeans" without Genoa.
And all "your" Roman architecture... What's up with that?
I'm not mad! Siblings wear each other's clothes; it's ok.
You can buy our Lamborghini and Patrizia Pepe and sell them out as yours. You can go around saying you invented pizza when the only thing you ever did was putting pineapple on it...
That's ok.
But what's up with framing me for shit like "Alfredo sauce" and meatballs in pasta?
Sorry, I got sidetracked.
Here's to your great presidents, like Obama and his efforts towards equality and human rights!
That is, before you went on stealing fascism from me too...
Would you like to read the other toasts/roasts? Check out Lana's challenge!
About the Creator
Sasha Desideri
Philosopher, adventurer, mother, and passionate words-lover
Enjoyed the story? Support the Creator.
Subscribe for free to receive all their stories in your feed. You could also become a paid subscriber, letting them know you appreciate their work.
Comments
There are no comments for this story
Be the first to respond and start the conversation.