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Purrfectionism

The knowledge inherent in all cats that they are the superior form of life on earth, made in the perfect image of the creator, gifted with physiques, minds, and skills which elicit jealousy in all other inferior species.

By J. Otis HaasPublished 5 months ago 1 min read
4
Purrfectionism
Photo by Akin Cakiner on Unsplash

Bobby had been dreaming of The Sphinx. Its completion with a human head was seen as heretical by the cat community and had remained a sore spot for millennia, though he could scarcely blame the clumsy, oafish humans, who were obviously jealous of the feline form, and sought perfection through imitation. Bobby loved his human servants and considered himself a benevolent master, but felt it was important to remain cognizant of their foibles and inadequacies. Case in point: he was hungry and they were all still asleep.

Bobby padded into the empty kitchen and regarded his empty bowl. Inhaling deeply, he began to sing, his mournful serenade echoing off the walls as if the pre-dawn house were a monastery. It was what the humans called Sun Day and the family was inclined to sleep in, so Bobby performed with extra vigor, bellowing deep tones until The Mom arrived in slipper-feet and opened a can of cat food on the counter. Bobby wound through her legs as she did so, marking her with his scent so other cats would know to whom she belonged.

The family filtered into the kitchen as Bobby ate. Afterwards, he waited by the refrigerator for one of The Girls to get his cheese, observing them with the usual pity. He cared for them, but they were so slow, dim-witted, and hopeless. “No wonder they worship us,” he thought, “they will never know the joy of catching a bird on the wing, poor things.”

Microfiction
4

About the Creator

J. Otis Haas

Space Case

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Comments (2)

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  • Andrea Corwin 5 months ago

    I LOVE your stories! I love cats and sadly we have no pets now. Also after putting up with my cats (and dogs) for 30+ years, my husband’s allergies have made him say no to any more. Cats are so cool. This story says it all. Great job!! Do some more in their voice…

  • Novel Allen5 months ago

    This is so puurrfectly amazing, I am tempted to mark it as my territory. Very well executed J. Oh so Cat-chy and marvelous, Well done.

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