public enemy number 1

You're gonna have to keep up with me alright? I'm not gonna slow down, I'm not gonna slow up, sideways, frontways, just keep outta my way. You get me? Now, listen and listen good 'cause I'm gonna be telling you everything you need to know and nothing more or less, and if you so happen to be silly enough to think I'd explain...why are you not writing this down? I need you to keep these notes just in case something happens to me.

Alright. Let's start.

There's a box on my doorstep. I'm not gonna touch it. I'm not even gonna look at it. A drone dropped it off and just zipped on back into the open sky as if to say, "Did my job. Whatever happens ain't none of my business."

The thing is, I wasn't even notified of it coming, so I sure as heck won't be the one opening it. You think I'm silly to be so suspicious? No. I think I'd be a doggone fool if I were to just take my narrow behind to that doorstep, squat down, pick up a mysterious box, take it into my home, sit on my couch, then open it like a child on Christmas. Giddy for what? To die? Not me.

Anyway, it's not that I have that many ene---you hear that, "not many," ya see? It makes sense that I haven't opened that box yet. Anyone who can casually say they not only have one, but a few enemies, should be afraid of a box. Or at least a bit cautious of it. Yeah. That's what I am. I mean, I don't truly think I'm all too afraid, but that doesn't mean I'm all too willing to "fuck around and find out," as they say.

I don't want to test my luck because I have a wife that I've been with since we were freshmen in college, and now we're old enough to have a freshman in college. I love her dearly. She's somewhere working, though I've forgotten where exactly. She has to travel a lot. So, spare me the "You're a bad husband," look. I don't want her coming home to a dead man and having to grieve just because I opened some box and either it was rigged or had something in it that'd give me a heart attack.

As I was saying, I've narrowed it down at least. The list of enemies. I went from 20 to 3 because I realized the other 17 are frenemies at best. And ten of them are more of the "I'd tell you whatever I think of you to your face," kind. I like that kind the best. No guessing where I stand with them. Even my friends worry me because I have the sneaky suspicion they don't tell me everything to my face.

So, those three? Right. Johnny Bishop. Anna Fitzpatrick. And Suzanne and Amir Weston.

Let's start with...what? Oh. I listed four people? Well, yes I listed four "in numbers." But, not in "motive."

Like I said, I won't be explaining. So, let me stop explaining. Just keep up.

Johnny. Johnny. Johnny. He was a little boy when we first met. Just 'bout sixteen years old. He was a real knuckle head back in those days. What was that, 'round six or seven years ago? Yeah, must've been. He's all grown up now huh? And as sour as ever. All 'cause of his poor momma, may she rest in pieces.

When I met Johnny, I was just two months into dating his mother. She didn't want me to meet him till we had made things official. She wanted to hear me say the three magic words. And well, I did.

I would've said anything to her though, 'cause she also wouldn't let me do something else if I hadn't. I'm sure you can decipher that on your own. I mean, the woman had everything going for her. Nice front. Nice back. I'll keep it at that and get back on track.

So, I met Johnny. And Johnny was immeidately all stone faced and folded arms. He reminded me of a pug sometimes. Just grumpy looking all the time. I'd try to take him out for ice cream, or pick him up and drop him off at his friend's house no matter the day or time. If he asked for something, anything, I'd oblige as long as his momma said "yes," and even if she didn't...I'd secretly buy him that game or take him to that party. I needed Johnny on my side to keep his momma, I could tell that off bat. But, he was a tough one.

One day as I tried to sneak him back in the house after a party, his momma came downstairs to the kitchen. As soon as I heard her, my heart started beating in my ears. He was shimmying up the pole on the house. She started calling my name, only I could hear her heels clacking on the kitchen's floor. She was walking towards the basement. He was finally coming through the window.

For a split second I debated pushing him out of the window to save my behind. Couldn't understand why the boy was struggling so much. Back in my day of sneaking out I could be out the window and through the yard in 0.2 seconds flat.

I tried to think of something to tell her if she saw him since he was supposedly on the third floor in his bedroom sleeping. I thought of the story I'd tell her for being in the cold dark basement all by myself while she was upstairs in her bedroom waiting for me.

She came downstairs, and as I was pushing him to the closet down there, he stubbed his toe on the wall and let out a, "Fuck."

That's when my palm met forehead, and I knew soon enough his behind would meet hers.

She had asked him first why he was downstairs in his new outfit looking all startled and nervous. Boy couldn't get out a word. He just kept looking from her to me to her to me to her. I shook my head. I went by her, trying to go up the stairs when she went,

"Rufus, did you help him sneak off to that party I told him he couldn't go to?"

I straightened my back. Looked her dead in her eye with the face I use when I'm fighting cases for my client. And I...

sung like a canary.

Now, I know what you're thinking, "How was that enough to make you public enemy number one," believe me, it gets worse.

After I told her about every little thing I had vetoed her vote to, she gave him his long list of punishments, then sent him to his room.

She told me I should probably not come around for a while. Which was kind of a relief to me because I was spending too much time there, and my wife was starting to question away from our home more and more.

So, some time went by. About two weeks at least. Finally she invited me back over. She said we were all gonna sit down and talk. So, I came over.

As soon as I saw Johnny I knew he was still very much pissed off with me. But, there was also something else hidden in his eyes I couldn't quite put my finger on.

When she went upstairs to get something, he leaned in and whispered--at sixteen he was already at my shoulder-- "How's your wife doing?"

That sent shivers down my spine. But, I kept my cool 'cause no way did he know about my wife, did he?

So I said, I said, "Oh, I haven't asked your mom to marry me yet, but glad to know you're onboard."

That's when he gave me this evil, despicable, conniving grin and nodded to my ring finger. "Saw you take it off once, and saw the little dent in your finger. Guess she didn't 'cause you would've never been allowed back if she had. But, she'll find out sooner or later."

I tried to call his bluff. "Why would you keep it from her if what you're saying is true? You would've jumped at the chance to have me gone. I see the way you look at me. I hear what you say on the phone about "Your mother's annoying boyfriend."

"One, I needed more proof. And two. Well, I had a long Christmas gift list and I knew she wouldn't get everything for me, so I've been getting you to buy them. But now, now you've ruined this little agreement we had. The operation is over, so I'm done with you."

I bent my head down ever so slightly to meet him face to face. Then I said, "What proof do you got demon seed?"

He pulled out his phone, scrolled a bit and showed me a picture. Clear as day was a picture of me laughing with my wife on our doorstep. "I also saw you two hugging and kissing. So, you can save the "that's my sister," line too.

I thought fast and came up short. "I guess I'll take my leave." I grabbed my jacket, turned to the door and had my hand on the door knob when he asked,

"Not gonna face it like a man?"

"Nope."

"Where are you going?"

His mother walked back into the living room without us knowing. She was light on her feet. Something I hated when I tried to make phone calls or text my wife and had to keep looking behind me just in case.

"Nowhere," flew out of my mouth before I could swallow it. Then, I smiled and put my jacket back. "I was just messing around with the boy."

"Glad to see you two getting along. I thought there would still be a little tension after---"

"There's tension. But, not because of that. It's because I haven't told you everything."

"Yeah, I caught Johnny smoking weed..." I paused. Her eyes were already wide. His eyes went from "Got ya" to "cornered animal." He looked from me to her to me to her. Couldn't get out not a sound, so I used that to my advantage.

"And an opened bottle of some alcoholic drink. Think it was beer."

And to top it all off I said,

"Then he showed me a picture of me and a co-worker laughing and said he made up a story about me cheating to get me out of your lives. That's why I was turned towards the door. I figured if he'd go through all the trouble to have me out, I might as well leave you two be. Don't want him unhappy in his own home."

Once I was done with my story, I just watched their faces contort as they took it in. She looked at him like he was some stranger with her eyes squinted and her eyebrows furrowed, all tight lipped. That's when I knew I had her fooled. I won't lie, I was a bit surprised. Thought she had me too whipped to lie to her since last time I couldn't. It was sorta nice to know I still had it.

When she told me to leave though, I started doubting it. But, I left hoping she just wanted to talk to punish him without a witness.

A week later it was bye bye Johnny. He was sent to live with his dad.

So, that's the tale off Johnny. He hates me, I'm sure of it. I've gotten a note to this address from him telling me he'll never forgive me and that I'll pay one day 'cause he not only got sent to his dad's who is military man, but he got bullied at his new school that year and his mom let slip that he had to stay on a strict schedule, and was checked for weed every so often. I wondered if he had to pee in a cup, but I didn't think it was my place to ask.

I dated her for another month, then dumped her 'cause my new girlfriend needed more attention. Johnny sent me another letter not too long ago with the ominous message, "one day." That's it. Just, "one day." I think the boy needs to get a life. I do think it's him though, 'cause young people fly those damn drones all the time on the open field near my office. The bug the hell out of me with that yelling and oohing and ahhing at almost nothing. Can't do much now really, but eventually they'll take over the world.

Next on my list: Anna. I'll cut to the chase. We got into a car accident. She wanted to take it to court since I had a niceeee car. I said, "Fine, but I'll warn you that I am a lawyer with a damn good lawyer on my side. Me. And from the looks of your junker, you'll have to settle for a $5 man with a suit." She still wanted to go to court. I said, fine. Anyway, I made sure they saw she was unequipped to drive a vehicle. She lost a lot of money that day, money she didn't have to lose. That ruined her I suppose. She turned to stealing. Saw her in court one day. She threatened me right in that courtroom. I know for sure she hates my guts enough to put something like a pig's heart in that box.

Finally, we're down to the Westons. Man do I hate those two, and I do not use that word lightly.

I met Suzanne first. She worked for Miller and Miller before Miller and Miller became just Miller. I thought she was cute. She thought I was important. So it goes.

Amir caught us one day, and threatened my life. Well, I took that personally and started doing a deep dive on him. It was easy enough since we worked for the same firm. Ended up finding out he was doing some dirty work for some dirty men I knew in the game. They were stealing money. Hundreds of thousands at least.

So, I knew I could not only bring him down for that, but frame him for something I've managed to get myself into---

Wait, my wife is calling.

Hello?

Yes I'm home.

A package? New what? New shoes? For me? Ohhhh that's how they're delivering things nowadays? I had no clue.

Well, thank you.

Yes, I'll try them on and tell you how I like them.

Love you too. Bye.

Well. Um. Disregard all of that. In fact, just shred your notes. Thanks.

End

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Was just freewriting (writing whatever, no edits, no thinking up a plot etc.). I wanted to try that out for this specific challenge. I'll submit to it again, but I'll make sure to really bring my A-game for that one.

Thank you. Peace.