Planting the Seed

Alexander the Great could not believe he found himself in the company of the Amazon Queen, Thalestris. She was a legend and he had half-believed she did not exist at all, but here she was before him. They had gotten into such a weird, non-stop flow of chit-chat, one topic to the next as if time itself stood still. Days had passed in an instant.

“Enough about my mom. I heard there is a dragon in India though. I’m definitely going to check it out once I get there!” Alexander seemed convinced. “The people there worship the dragon and feed it daily.”

“Sure. sure.” She nodded and smiled. “Don’t change the subject. Answer my original question. Why is there a rumor going around that your mom slept with a dragon?”

“Well, an Egyptian sorcerer tricked her. He told her a god would appear to her in the form of a dragon and she would bear his son. One day, she was convinced she saw the dragon and slept with him, but as it turned out the sorcerer drugged her. He was the dragon she thought she saw. My adopted father, King Philip, walked in on them. Then nine months later I showed up.”

“Wow! So King Philip accepted all of this?”

“They were the only people that knew the truth. Plus King Philip needed an heir. Did I mention that the sorcerer was also an exiled Pharaoh?”

“No!” Thalestris looked more and more frazzled. “So that must be why you wanted to visit Egypt so badly. I can’t believe the sorcerer drugged your mom. This is exactly why we don’t allow any men in our tribe. Unbelievable. The absolute gall.” She kept muttering, but Alexander interrupted.

“I want to thank you again for joining me in my tent. The soldiers hadn’t seen me with a woman in a while. I feel awkward saying this, but it kind of builds morale.”

“Not a problem at all. We leaders need to stick together. Thanks for not forcing yourself on me. It would have been a real shame to cut off your pretty head.”

He blushed, fondly remembering that just 13 days prior, Thalestris and her people arrived at his camp. On that day, she walked up to him in full confidence. He’d never seen a woman so unafraid while being surrounded by his intimidating soldiers. He still didn’t understand how she was able to get past his guards. She walked right up to Alexander and whispered in his ear, “Tell them that I have traveled from afar to conceive a child with the one and only Alexander the Great,” she smiled. “Go on, tell them.”

Alexander made the announcement.

She whispered again, “Tell them I will lay with you for 13 days until I know the seed has been planted.” She looked straight at him and slowly raised the knife attached at her thigh. He knew she had already gotten too close and could end him in an instant. So he played along.

He coughed a bit and continued, “She says…”

“Go on,” She nudged.

“She says she wishes to lay with me for 13 days until she knows the seed has been planted.”

Alexander’s soldiers cheered.

“Let’s chat more in your tent, Alexander the Great,” her eyes guided him to the door.

Once they were away from the crowd, Alexander looked beyond frustrated. “What is this all about,” Alexander demanded.

“Calm down,” she spotted an opened pomegranate on his table and bit into it.

“My people and I need a place to rest for a fortnight. In return, I’ll give you everything you need to conquer the Persian Empire. I have traveled for 25 days to meet you. Just hear me out.”

“So you do not want to sleep with me?”

“No. Not really. That won’t be a problem, will it?”

“No, I’m actually relieved to hear that. Don’t get me wrong, you are a beautiful woman…”

“Shut up. I’m not here for sex. You and your entire army are fucked unless you listen to me and follow what I say.”

The next thirteen days passed in a flash. They truly enjoyed talking with one another. Eating, laughing, telling stories of all of their wild adventures. The fond memory faded away and Alexander was back to the present moment. All Alexander could think was that he’d truly miss his new friend. “Do you really have to leave already, Thalestris?”

“Yes, as you know by now, we are a nomadic tribe. We have to keep moving. I will keep up my end of the bargain though. I promised you Persia, did I not?”

“Yes I believe 13 days ago you said that my entire army and I would be fucked unless I listen to you. So I am listening.”

“It’s actually quite simple. You are going to love this.”

“Go on. Spit it out.”

“Okay…ready…as you are well aware, the King of Persia, Darius III, has millions in his army and you only have, what, 50,000 soldiers?" She grabbed a fist full of pomegranate seeds and put them on the table. "This group represents the King of Persia's millions." She grabbed a significantly smaller group of seeds and placed them next the giant pile. "This is you guys". She started to move the smaller group to one side. "You can draw your enemy's army away by luring them with a few thousand of your soldiers. Then you can have another group draw away the opposite side of the enemy's army. This will create a gap." She divided the center of the giant pile into two smaller piles. "Then your larger, remaining group can storm through the center, strategically separating the Persian troops through diversion, making it much easier to divide and conquer.”

Alexander's jaw dropped. She was absolutely right. The only way to beat an army of millions was to separate them into more manageable chunks.

Thalestris bit into yet another pomegranate. “You’re welcome,” she said with a full mouth. “Okay. Time to go.” She left his tent and Alexander could hear the crowds roar.

“Has the deed been done, Alexander the Great?” one of the commanders shouted.

Thalestris answered for him in true Thalestris fashion. She took a big gulp, swallowing what was in her mouth. “Yes, I am now full of seed and shall be on my way.” She took another bite of pomegranate and winked at Alexander as she left.