Pie Scream for Humanity

Nobody can hear a scream in the vacuum of space, or so they say. This seems to be a uniquely human thing. Humans are very strange mostly hairless mammals that inhabit planet 401-3. They aren't entirely awful. That said they are incredibly nearsighted, and entirely mind-null. Which is to say they are completely unaware of the quadrant Forum’s most announcements declaring that 401 is now a reserve system.

I was sitting on my porch watching the morning joggers when the announcement played. The Forum is entirely aware of humanity's state as a protected civilization, as well as their peculiar mind-null evolution. So they knew that no humans could possibly protest their new status. Void knows they are so young they've barely left their own atmosphere without the ability to link with the more advanced species that use the flares of Sol 401 as a fuel booster.

So here I am, the auditor sent to evaluate their one inhabited planet for potential reserve status. The one report that must be submitted in order to make that declaration, the report I have half finished on my inspher, the report that very much says 401-3 is incapable of being a reserve or following the required mandates. Because in the less than two sols that I’ve been here I’ve learned that humanity, as shut off as they are, is intensely curious and desperate to reach out and connect. They are terrifying and baffling in their constant mind solitude but they reach out in every other imaginable way. I hadn’t been installed for more than a week when the first neighbor arrived with a large container filled with a dessert called ‘pie’ just to “welcome you to the area.” And they never really stopped showing up. Humans seem incapable of physical solitude for very long.

401 being made into a reserve would break them. It would make their fledgling space programs illegal. That would cause the Forum to install invalitors after their next successful launch beyond their own orbit. And the longer I've been here, watching and learning, the more I am terrified by what they would come up with to circumvent our technology. They discovered fire and, instead of reaching for the sun and the voices that told them how to fly, they dug into the ground and found the ancient remains of monsters. That didn’t turn them back towards the sky though, they used them and were able to create and fuel metal machines and completely transformed their planet in a few generations.

Which is exactly why the stupid Forum sent me here. They knew what my response would be after I had argued that 401’s protected status should not be revoked. They knew I had a council ship. Council ships are automatically updated. Now my ship is essentially an RV that's been knocked off of its axel because it has found itself parked on a reserve planet. The Forum set me up to be silenced. How had I been so blind to the obvious ploy? Was I so excited to finally go on my first assignment that I let myself be duped? I thunked my head back onto the hull of my disguised ship not even caring that it makes the lightfields phase. Auditor rules mean blending and number one rule of blending is: “don’t mix holographs.” It’s the reason I needed to put a real door on the front of the ship, then have a porch built. The neighbors helped with that too.

The Forum won’t even read about that day, instead they’ll fake my report, and probably my death, humanity will get a rude awakening when their ships and planes start falling out of the sky and the fucking Council will be safe for roughly two generations before humanity figures out some devious and ingenious new tech the advanced species hadn't thought of because we've all been taught by those who came before.

The unique technology and attitude of humanity are absolutely alien in the eyes of the Council. Mind-null simply do not progress as far as humanity has managed. The mind-null are either prey or they destroy themselves, I cannot recall any other species that evolved in silence. What if my own people hadn't heard the voices of the void teaching us how best to contribute to the cosmos? What would we have become if there had been no eternal harmony to contribute to? What if that's exactly why mind-null species didn't evolve past a certain point? What if the council is entirely aware of the potential of such species and stops them from joining the cosmos intentionally? Would my people have been allowed to progress if we hadn't listened to the hum of the void and been compliant?

But when we crawled out of our oceans we gladly looked to the skies and joined the Council's cause. We sent representatives and resources, and took assignments for generations, eagerly and willingly as I have. Which has brought me to this moment, stranded on a pre-interstellar planet full of mind-null, often confrontational, surprisingly hospitable mammals that struggle to understand me on the best of days. And because the Forum is efficient I have been left as an essential infant, because my Council ship is in stasis, its Council-issued translator is in stasis, the Council communicator is obviously in stasis, and for the first time since I can remember, I am completely isolated and alone.

So, while no one can hear a scream in space, here in this moment I'm sure I'm screaming obscenities loud enough that space is echoing with it. I hope it is reported to the Forum. Because mute, and cut off as I am now, I actually quite like these stubborn, intellectual, and alien creatures. They made me pie, so I'm damned well going to save their civilization.