Peeping at the moon

Guangzhou, May rain, moving, no reason, on the next, so that people are caught off guard. June, Guangzhou sunny, do not need to see the sun and sunshine, in the corridor aisle, in the toilet, the hot air, will be steamed out of a person to sweat. The daytime heat, the night heat, insomnia is like a slug crawling around in the head, uncomfortable, but nothing can be done.

It seems that the summer in Guangzhou is so hot and muddy.

The new sofas, the new sofas, and the faint smell of fur.

On the balcony, there are clothes hanging all over.

In the company, very active, very active at work. Back home, feeling suddenly sluggish, get by, put off all the chores to tomorrow, tomorrow and tomorrow, tomorrow is not much, so, since living at home for six months, home is getting sloppy, more and more like a warehouse, more and more like a garbage disposal plant, my patience is getting better and better, so good that it is not moving, frankly.

I thought of my mother, and if she had been around, she would have rambled on and on, saying the names of people she considered role models, while scrubbing the floors, cleaning up the delivery cartons by the door and scattering pens, notebooks and books everywhere.

I raised my head and looked at the clothes hanging all over the balcony, all kinds of clothes, long-sleeved sweaters changed in winter were still on the clothesline like a ghost with an elongated body. I found a little something, the corner of the balcony window, how can there be a white piece? It was the light from the glass windows of the building across the street? The glass windows are in rows and rows, there should not be only one ah.

I walked over with curiosity, I saw it, hanging in the corner of the window, is half of the moon.

Half of the moon hanging in the corner of the window, peeking at the chaotic scene of my life.

I am not afraid that the moon will see my chaos, but rather afraid that it will peek into my inner turmoil.

I found my phone calendar, oh, the tenth day of the lunar calendar.

No wonder it was only half a block!

I looked down and calculated, my father left this world alone, exactly one hundred and sixty days. When he left, he had a tube in his throat for forty-eight hours and said nothing, the only hint that the EKG line was straightened. I don't know whether I should be sad or happy that he's gone. Colon cancer and lung cancer tortured him for more than four years, but he was never ready to leave us, and when he had to leave, he lost his words. The reason I was so upset about his departure was precisely because he left in such a hurry, without a word of confession, so to speak, without a last word, which left me a little overwhelmed.

I followed him is seen quite a few times the moon at night.

In the south of Hunan summer night, the mountains cloaked in black is the beast gathered together for a meeting, all the night pedestrians will tighten their footsteps, afraid to startle them. Their kind - frogs, night lords, dogs, and even rats, with different sounds intertwined to create a horrible sound to cover them. The familiar neem trees by the river and the roadside, at this time of the year, also seem to be left alone and indifferent to the earth.

Fortunately, the moon in the sky was high above, holding up the night sky overhead with its solitude, and also sowing its compassion on the earth, giving people a shadow and giving the village a peaceful appearance. My father has no sense of some of this scenery, he has become a life picker, left shoulder for right shoulder, right shoulder for left shoulder, acceleration and deceleration, every day is tired of coping with life's regular arrangements and sudden attacks, the body is worse than a year, but never push and dodge to give way. A glance at the silver moon in the high sky, but only a dispensable sigh: the moon is big tonight! He never knew that the moon gave me as much security as he did during the nights that followed him.

In the end, I escaped.

I didn't do it for freedom, nor for ideals. The beauty of Xiangnan is something that other places can never give. However, the more I grow up, the more depressing it is in my hometown; looking at my father's life, I can't feel the beauty of the future. Young people's hearts are not only full of beauty, but also of fear, challenge, adventure, and space to prove their worth in this land. I want to get rid of the control of home and hometown, I want to go far away, for a vulgar mission: to live in a strange and prosperous place, to break away from the old self.

When I left, my father didn't send me off, he didn't oppose or even approve of my leaving my hometown, as if it was also his dream to leave it. His attitude of "if you want to go, go quickly" made me think that it was also the attitude of my hometown. If you go, you will not be sent. When you return, once you enter the border of Ningyuan, there will be familiar scenery everywhere.

My mother is a compassionate person who loves her children and her family. When I left, she always blamed herself for not being a good parent and felt sad for not being able to meet the needs of her children, and could not wait to stuff my hometown into my bag. Children travel a thousand miles mother worry ah ...... but I still determined to go. A child's future is something that parents can never give.

I vowed I would return.

When a person is living outside - you can't say struggling - all of China is struggling to live a good life, and I'm just the part of that amazing number that can be ignored, not contributing to society and the country, and not dragging down the development of society and the country The mediocre self-reliance, shake after twenty years, day by day found that the other country is always the other country, you use twenty years, then twenty years, you are just passing through, because the soul, pulled in the hometown, pulled in the countryside fields.

There is no such thing as worth it, people are just like that, stay in the rice fields of your hometown, like my father, the outside world has not been touched, even after a lifetime, no glory, only hardship. Most ordinary people are like this, but they are at peace with themselves. In their concept of being human, being human is not possible. Home and survival, is all they have in their lives the ideal and freedom.

And the other country, turned me into a vibrant person, even now very tired, followed by insomnia, which does not affect my fighting spirit, does not affect me to set goals. My road, empty, but still have to be erected, no matter how fearful to fight wobbly, I have to persist, because there is no one behind me, until the piers appear - the children can take responsibility, then, the future to them, perhaps I can slow down. Can that happen? I don't know. The end of the mission of living or the end of freedom is death, and death is still far away, so how can we dare to stop our steps to get rid of life's constraints in another country?

When I came here, I had already cut myself off from my hometown.

My mother was like a half-moon falling in a deserted village in my hometown, which caused a vague pain inside.

Feeling tired, I lay down on my bed and listened to the sound of the cooling water from the water outlet of the air conditioner falling on the wall stack. I opened my eyes, and from between the two curtains that were not pulled tightly, I saw the half moon again, actually parked in the middle of the slit, turning red, it was falling, it was making room for the morning sun. It was only in the process of falling that it met me, and I spied it by chance. I remembered the "midnight bell to the passenger ship", and it seemed to blush at my decision with the past.

Lifting the curtains, the night sky over the city was like a dark blue khaki cloth hung with a few smears of white dust on it.

The raspy sound of the motor is even lower and denser in the pre-dawn darkness.

This is not the fortune I want.

The moon didn't even glance at me, diving behind the steeple-topped building to rule another world.

I was at a loss, as I had been at home, but now I had nowhere to run.