Party Train

"All aboard! Aahhll aboard! Welcome everyone. Welcome Miss. Are you traveling alone or are you with a party?"

"Oh. Do I need to be with a party?"

"No, not necessarily. Sometimes it helps. It is called the Party Train!"

"Well, I am not much of a party goer. But I was invited, so I came. You know, check it out."

"I will give you some advice. If it doesn't agree with you, jump off." Then the conductor winked at me.

"Ohhh. Okay, I guess." Slowly Serene pulled herself up onto the first step to enter the train. When she glanced back over her shoulder at the conductor, she heard him say, "Welcome aboard, I'm Casey Jones, your conductor. Have a nice trip!" to a large group of students. Serene wondered if she heard him right. (Did he say, Casey Jones? Like the infamous Casey Jones? The one who saved a train full of passengers by telling them to jump off, then crashed with the train as he still tried to stop it? How serendipitous.)

Once in the car, Serene weaved her way around the party passengers as she kept her sights on Lucy. Lucy had commandeered a booth-table combination in the economy class rail car. Lucy waved emphatically at Serene, then blew on her clear party whistle. Lucy dressed for the party; a red fringe dress, flapper style with long white gloves that accented her long thin arms. In comparison, Serene wore a pair of old jeans and a T-shirt that said, "Shit happens".

"Serene! Over here! You came!"

"Yeah, why not." Serene said with a shrug then pointed to her T-shirt.

"Are you going to do that all night?"

"I thought it would save me time explaining weird choices, or accidents that might happen, like inebriated passengers. This is the drug run, right?"

"Yeah. Can't wait to get started." Lucy looked around, eyeballing the talent and competition. "This is going to be fun. A lot of potential here tonight."

Serene followed Lucy's eyes around the train car with disinterest. The economy car had a cafe' appeal to it. On both sides of the car, next to each window, a small cafe' booth had been securely anchored to the floor. So, if you were small, you had to lean up and forward to meet the table, if you were large, good luck squeezing in. Everything seemed designed for a standard size, not at all a one size fits all.

Just as the passengers seemed to be getting restless, a whistle blast could be heard all the way to the caboose, a shrill whippoorwill call. Then the cars jolted forward with a clang. The train began to roll slowly forward.

"Yippee! Let's get the party started!" Lucy shouted to everyone in the economy car. Her toast echoed through the car as everyone mimicked her mantra.

Serene reluctantly tried to join the party. She stood by watching. She followed Lucy to a group of passengers that danced in the aisle while a boombox played "Run-DMC". Serene didn't really care for hip-hop but she had to admit, it easily kept rhythm with the train. You could simply stand and sway with the train; thus creating a fake hip-hop dance move that made everybody look good.

Just as fast as the party started for everyone else, it ended for Serene. It was clear that her role was fast becoming a designated driver to a party that didn't need a designated driver. Everyone around her babbled senseless epithets at her. Suddenly, the train banked to the right which threw everyone to the left. Serene grabbed the edge of the closest booth as she watched a party pile-up: a colorful lump of asses and feet. Then, from the center of the pile, one white gloved hand raised and shouted, "Whooohooo!" The party continued.

Serene looked out of the rail car window, the utility poles whizzed by faster than she could count. Dizzy, she sat down in her booth to get her bearings. No novice to train rides, she knew this train moved faster than any train she had been on; something felt wrong.

"Hey! Why sit alone when you can join the party?" A strange dude sat down across from Serene.

"There is something wrong. This train is going way too fast."

"All the more reason to join in! You don't want to be left behind, do you?"

"What?"

"You know what they say."

"What. Like snooze you loose?"

"No." Then he pointed to Serene's T-shirt. She looked down, then looked back up at him and said, "Really?"

"Really. So, hey, you might as well join us. It's a 'tricky' ride!"

With that, all the passengers in the train car began to dance and sing to Run-DMC's "It's Tricky." In the center of the floor show, Lucy sat on the shoulders of two very muscular men who had lost their shirts. Her red fringed dress sagged since some of the fringe had torn loose. Serene put her arms in the air to dance her way through the crowd heading toward the engine; find the man responsible for all this madness.

As Serene opened the door, then stepped out onto the sideboard, the wind pushed her back against the door that immediately closed behind her. The car rocked back and forth with fervor. Her hair wrapped around her face. When she pulled her hair down from her eyes, she realized she could not just walk into the engine room to talk to the conductor. In fact, there didn't seem to be a door at all. Scared, Serene leaned over the rail that wrapped around the sideboard and saw Casey Jones with one arm up in the air holding the whistle while his other arm pressed the throttle. He looked back at Serene and shouted over the wind, "We're highballin' now!" Then he blew the whistle, the same shrill whippooorwill call.

Serene looked down at her shirt that furiously flapped in the wind. "No shit." The wind took the words out of her mouth then sent them to no one. She yanked the party car door open to find Lucy. She had to warn Lucy about the train, that it was dangerous, it moved too fast to seemingly nowhere. Serene leaned against the door as she searched for Lucy. All of a sudden, a white gloved hand grabbed Serene by the arm.

Lucy found Serene still holding the car door closed. She began to drag Serene into the center of the party. A noxious smell mixed with sweat wafted across her nose. A faint smell of vomit made Serene put her free hand up to her nose. Lucy turned to Serene and yelled over the music, "Isn't this party a blast?"

"What? No! It's going too fast!" Serene leaned close to Lucy to shout in her ear.

"Yeah! I know! This party is a blast!"

"No! I said too fast!"

"How can a party be too fast?"

"No. the train ride is going too fast."

"How can a train go too fast?"

"Lucy. We're in trouble!"

"Loosen up, Serenie! Here, hit this. I'm going to go get another one, right by that cute boy over there. Forget about the train ride and party on!"

"Party on? When does this train stop? I just want to go home."

"But the party isn't over. Curious. Now that you mention it, I don't know when the train stops either! I hope it doesn't stop until the party is over, that's for sure. Come on, can't you just enjoy the ride?"

"Oh, forget it. I'm going to go find help."

Serene left Lucy to party on. She pushed through the crowded aisle to the next car. She knew immediately, as she opened the door, that this car belonged to the first-class passengers. An antique floral carpet covered the floor with colors that blended with the opulent polished wood sides of the car. From the center of the ceiling hung a row of small glimmering crystal chandeliers. A large pale blue tuck-and-roll sofa ran half the length of the left side with matching armchairs on the right side. At the end of the car was a glass bar complete with a butler style bartender doling out party favors of every type. All the passengers wore some sort of evening gown or suit. Serena subconsciously looked down at her tattered jean and T-shirt attire.

"May I help you?" A gentleman in a dark blue suit approached Serena.

"Maybe. Do you know what is going on?"

"How do you mean?"

"Well, for starters, this train is going and going and going but where to? And doesn't it concern anybody that it is going so fast?"

"How prophetic, you are worried about us? The rich profligate party animals! Let me give you some sage advice. We don't care where the train is going just as long as it keeps going. Too fast? Improbable. Now scoot, you woebegone citizen." He lifted his martini glass in a salute. Just then, the train began to shimmy and rock from moving too fast. Mr. Sage Advice clung onto the velvet couch with a proud look upon his face, as he had not dropped a single ounce of his martini.

Serene looked around the car. Miles Davis played in the background as the passengers lounged on the soft couch and numerous divans. Ornate trays of pastries and chocolates set elegantly on Edwardian coffee tables. Hand blown glass ashtrays that fit into a single person's hand were available for the passengers who smoked extremely stinky cigarettes. Nobody looked like they had anything to do or anything that they wanted to do.

"I just want to go home. I need to get off this ride."

The gentleman turned toward Serene. Then, with a slender bejeweled finger, he pointed at her shirt. He raised a single eyebrow and politely said, "I would try elsewhere."

Serene slowly walked through a room of judgemental eyes that followed her: a stranger to their ways. She couldn't go back to Lucy as she seemed beyond help. She pushed onward to the next car. When she opened the door, to her surprise, not a single passenger glanced her way. In this car, the party appeared over.

Every face in the coach class car looked weary, hung over; not a single smile presented itself. Hands, too heavy to hold up, lay limp in their laps. Party hats and streamers littered the floor. The grey pall that emanated from the passengers faces diffused through the car. The only movement that could be seen came from their bodies as they jiggled back and forth in synchronous motion with the train car.

Serene touched the closest passenger. "Excuse me. Can you help me?" The passenger's head shook slowly back and forth or maybe it just moved to the motion of the train. Then a hand touched her leg. Serene turned around to see a tattered party girl in a pink, torn princess gown. Her eyes were swollen and red with one false eyelash that still hung halfway on, as it wanted to blend in with the mascara smear down her cheek. She slowly looked up at Serene and said between sobs, "The party is over, isn't it. Nothing matters now. Can you get it started again?"

"No. I don't know. Don't you want to get off this train? Go home?"

"I can't stop the party now." The girl said as she let her hand drop back into her lap. "I'm so sad."

"What is happening!" Serene shouted at the mute bodies. Slowly every sad face lifted, then in silence each passenger raised one finger and pointed to Serene's T-shirt. Serene shook her head in disbelief. "That can't be the answer. That's just a joke! Well, I'm going to end this shit."

Serene turned to leave the coach car when the party girl touched her again. "Don't go." She said still sobbing. "The party will get started, again. You'll see. It always does."

"Sorry. I have places to go and shit to make happen. Later."

Serene left the coach car then entered the impressive 'high-rollers' car with their cocktails, cocaine and other paraphernalia. When she reached the exit door to get back to the economy class car, she turned to face the first-class passengers. She wanted to say something 'prophetic' to them, motivate them, warn them about the train. Then she realized, they don't give a shit, anyway. She shrugged her shoulders, turned to leave to go find Lucy.

Lucy, worn out from the party, lay sprawled on top of the handsome and constantly shirtless passenger. Serene shook her arm, "Lucy. Lucy, wake up."

"Whaah."

"Come on. Let's go. We have to get off this train."

"Why?"

"Lucy, it's going nowhere...fast."

"So?"

"Lucy! You need to get off this train with me, now."

"But I don't want too. Not yet. I feel so free here."

"It's fake! It's a runaway train! It's going to suck the life right out of you! Come on." Serene pulled on Lucy's arm. Lucy pulled her arm back.

"No. You go. I want to stay here just a little bit longer. I'll think about it later. Maybe tomorrow. Will we be home tomorrow?"

"No. I think it will be the same party for you over and over again until you are completely wasted."

"Nice."

"Lucy! Please! You can't stay here. I can't leave without you!"

Lucy, with great effort tried to sit up. She gave up, flopped back down on her handsome, shirtless passenger then raised one finger to point at Serene's shirt. Then she grinned.

Serene stood straight up. She realized Lucy was right; shit happens. However, you don't have to let it ruin your life. Serene ripped off her T-shirt, set it on Lucy and headed toward where she last saw Casey Jones, the engineer.

The wind whipped her hair around her face, again. Serene pulled it down from her eyes, again. She leaned over the rail, Casey Jones still had one hand on the whistle and on hand on the throttle of the steel engine.

"Casey Jones!" Serene shouted as loud as she could. "Casey Jones!"

Casey Jones turned with a broad grin that lit up his face. "Remember what I told you, Miss." The words floated straight to Serene. She stood by the rail for a while, smiled back at Casey Jones, waved 'good-bye' then closed her eyes. She knew that if she wanted to live, she would need to take the biggest leap of faith she had ever taken. Without hesitation or remorse, she jumped off the train. The shrill sound of the whippoorwill train whistle faded away.