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Package Mania

Inside a Bipolar Mind

By Gina R (Gibana)Published 3 years ago 7 min read
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My anxiety level is at an all-time high! I wonder what it is? I wonder how it got here? I wonder where it came from? These are the questions that ponder my mind when I look at this suspicious package wrapped in brown paper. Somebody left it on my porch. I have no clue what to do with it. So many questions about how I should handle the situation. Who do I call? I am too confused.

My name is Lisa and I work in a strange factory. Most days I never know anything that is going on. I just work in my little office taking invoices. I usually do not ask questions, until today because of this package. This package put my mind on a roller coaster. I am now in a manic state. I hate when I f**** get this way because it will never stop now. My mind is about to take me for a scary ride.

The people that work in this building are all pretty nice. The only thing that I never paid much attention to was the way that they dressed. Sometimes they would come in suits to work in the factory. Sometimes they would come in ratchet factory clothes and leave in fancy clothes. I never thought anything about it. I just figured the people who worked here had important things to do after work. Everyone is pretty friendly, but I noticed that there are no clicks. You know the scene when you go to work and you see different people hanging out in the break room. I have never gotten to know anyone here. All I know is that most people here stay to themselves and do not talk very much.

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There is also the matter of the top floors in this building. I have never been up there, but I have always wondered how it was. I wonder what it looks like. I rarely see anybody push the elevator button to go up there. If I ever have, the person would look at me with a scary look. A scary look that says,” Do not look at me or where I go.” It was always a weird feeling that had me wondering about what goes on up there. I wonder what are they really doing in this factory? Things are just way too strange. I feel like I should start asking around. My therapist says I have too much anxiety about work. She says that I should only focus on my job and leave the people to their work.

Yep, I have to go to therapy because of this whole situation. I’ve had breakdowns in the past from manic episodes before. I am Bipolar and it tends to set my anxiety levels pretty high. I have been learning to do breathing exercises. I have also been learning to let certain situations go. The things that are out of my control. The things like this job that stress me the f*** out! My therapist thinks that I also ask too many questions. My mind is wandering into certain situations way too much. It has caused me to break down at home. I break down because of work and because of how alone I feel in this world.

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Okay, so let me try to breathe like my therapist says and let things go. Maybe some yoga will help me. Let me check to see if I can find a good workout on YouTube. Hopefully, it will take my mind off things. Breath in, Breath out, and Downward Dog I go. WhooSaaa, Breathing and feeling much better,... until the doorbell rings.

I opened the door to receive this suspicious package wrapped in brown paper. Oh my gosh, where did this come from? When I opened the door the delivery van had already taken off. All I know is that it came from a white van with tinted windows. I did not even get to see the name of the company. Now I am freaked out again. Oh man, I just got my anxiety to calm down. Now, with this package, I feel like I might have a full-blown panic attack. Oh my gosh, my therapist is right. I ask too much and worry too much. I am reading too much into this package. I probably should just open it and see where it came from. There is probably an invoice inside the package that was supposed to be on the outside. What should I do?

What if it came from my job? What if I work with spies and they are trying to get rid of me. Like when I open the package,... BOOM! Maybe that is why things are suspicious where I work. Maybe my therapist is in on it. She probably talks to my boss and lets him know everything. She tells him I ask too many questions and now they plan on taking me out. I knew it, I knew that things were too strange in that old factory building where I work. I mean, what do they make anyway? Toys, hmmm....really? I bet they make gadgets to complete their missions. I get invoices for toys... Yeah right! I think I should take this package back to the factory, put it on the elevator, and send it back to the top floor. I do not want it and I do not want to look into it. They can take this package back!

I should call my therapist and give her a piece of my mind. Maybe I should just forward this package back to her office. See how she likes receiving a suspicious package wrapped in brown paper. I should take it and leave it on her porch. Just take off... Ha! It would be hilarious to see the look on her face when she gets this package back. I just know it came from her. Come to think of it, I have told her everything. I know it was her for sure. I am going to give her a call and give her a piece of my mind. Mmmm hmmm, WhooSaaa,....my ass!

Oh my gosh, I am going to have to find a new job now. This sucks. I feel like my mind is going to explode. I am all over the place. I feel like I need to scream. I feel like I cannot breathe. Oh no! Who do I trust? Should I even call 911? Maybe they have instructions to let me die. Okay Lisa, Breathe In, Breathe Out. You can do this on your own. You do not need anybody to help you figure it out. Let it Go. Put your mind in a calm, quiet place. You can do this! I feel just a little bit better. Okay, What do I do now? Oh great, now my doorbell is ringing again!

It was my therapist and my mom. Oh my goodness, my mom has been part of this whole cover-up. I should have known! She is also a spy. But no, they are not here to hurt me. My mom is trying to tell me something, but I don’t hear her because too many thoughts are racing in my mind. Breath Lisa, Breathe. Okay now figure out why they have come to your house. “Hi, mom, what’s going on. Why the unexpected visit?” My mom is crying and barely can talk. She answers, “Honey, we are just worried about you. Your boss said you have been acting strange. Your therapist called me and said that you have been manic lately. We just want to help. I want to help you calm down. Let’s go to the hospital and get you back on your medications. I promise baby, we are just here to help you. I would never hurt you. I just want you to be well”

Okay, so apparently they think that I blew this whole package thing out of proportion. Now they think I am crazy and that my Bipolar Mania has come back. This feels all too familiar like I have done this time and time before. However, just for kicks, I am going to the hospital. That way my poor mom can calm down. She won’t stop crying. What kind of spy cries? I am surprised she has lived this long in that type of work.

Well, here goes nothing. I am about to walk into this hospital and deal with this, once and for all. “Oh my F**** gosh, F*** my Life.” I forgot to bring the package so they can open it up and see for themselves. The Doctor is not going to believe me now. They will probably think I am going crazy again for sure. Oh well, I just need to go and get this done. There has been much anxiety over this one brown package. Hopefully, this will all be over soon. I bet they will never believe me, but I am going in anyway. Wish me luck!

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About the Creator

Gina R (Gibana)

I have been Awakened, delivered from mental illness and reborn as "the" Divine Feminine! PLEASE SHOW SUPPORT by sending me a tip: https://cash.app/$dolceisgibana

I hope Universe and God will Bless You right back, Thank You!!!

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