Optimisation

As I sank into the moulded plastic chair beside my solicitor, I barely had time to gather my thoughts before the door opened and two detectives stepped into the interview room.

The older of the two placed a digital recorder on the table.

"Commencing interview with Mr Alex Crawford. Present are Detective Sergeant James Pearson, Detective Constable Helen Reynolds, and Mr Alex Crawford."

"Mr Crawford, you were arrested on Friday the sixth of June at 5:05 p.m. At the time of your arrest, you were cautioned. Is that correct?"

"For the benefit of the recording, please answer clearly, yes or no."

"Yes."

"Thank you. You were also cautioned on your arrival at the custody suite. Is that correct?"

"Yes."

"Do you understand what it means to be under caution?"

"Yes."

"Very well. For the benefit of the recording, I will repeat the caution.

'You do not have to say anything. But it may harm your defence if you do not mention, when questioned, something which you later rely on in court. Anything you do say may be given in evidence.'

Do you understand the caution, Mr Crawford?"

"I do."

"For the recording, Mr Crawford has declined legal representation. Is that correct, Mr Crawford?"

"Yes."

"You said you wanted to confess. What did you mean by that?"

Alex looked at the detective and his partner before looking to the ceiling.

"That's a long story."

"That's all right. We've got time."

He clicked his pen.

Alex looked from one detective to the other before letting his eyes drift to the grey ceiling tiles.

"Where do you want me to start?"

"Wherever this began."

Alex stared at the ceiling.

"Then I suppose it began when we started trying for a baby."

Pearson and Reynolds made notes and exchanged perplexed glances. Pearson looked at a previous page of notes.

"Mr Crawford, we're here to discuss what happened on the sixth of June!"

"I know, but if I start there none of this will really make any sense."

"Okay, we being you and your wife, Jacqueline Crawford?"

"That's right. Jacq... Jacqueline and I had started trying for a baby. But after a year of trying naturally, reading books and following advice we found... anywhere and everywhere... we hit a wall. Every month became another disappointment."

Pearson scribbled something in his notebook.

"How long did that continue?"

"Another couple of years."

"That must have been upsetting," sympathised Reynolds, as Pearson just nodded.

"It was... and frustrating. We were madly in love and had never really had issues until this hurdle. Our doctor referred us to the fertility experts at the local hospital. We tried increased hormone supplements and a lot of other 'techniques'."

"What options were offered to you?" Reynolds asked. She was more understanding than Pearson.

"IVF was discussed, but we couldn't afford it," sighed Alex. His shoulders sank as his head fell into his hands.

"Then what?" Pearson asked, a little impatiently.

Alex hesitated, stuck in the moment between the past and the present.

He cleared his throat.

"They told us we were suitable for a trial."

"A trial?" Pearson frowned as he tapped his pen on the metal table.

"Yeah. We were accepted onto a government-funded fertility trial. They called it a Reproductive Sexual Intelligence Device."

"A fertility trial?" Pearson asked.

"Yes."

"Am I missing something, Mr Crawford? Is this fertility trial relevant to the events of the sixth of June?"

Alex nodded.

"It's the only thing that's relevant."

Pearson leaned back in his chair.

"Then tell us about the trial."

Reynolds glanced up from her notebook.

"You called it a Reproductive Sexual Intelligence Device. Was it medication? Some kind of implant?"

Alex swallowed.

"No."

"Then what was it?"

"It was a machine."

"A machine?" Pearson repeated.

"Yes."

"What kind of machine?"

Alex hesitated.

"One that lived with us."

"Lived with you?" Pearson repeated.

"Yes."

Pearson exchanged a glance with Reynolds.

"All right..." He uncapped his pen again. "Explain that to us."

Alex hesitated, knowing only too well how strange it all sounded.

"At first it just... watched us."

"Watched you?" Reynolds asked.

Alex nodded.

"Yes. Our routines. Our conversations. What we ate. When we slept. What we enjoyed. How often we used the toilet. When we argued. How often we were intimate. It wasn't there to replace our marriage... or me..."

He paused for a moment.

"...or that's what they told us."

"What do you mean?" Reynolds asked softly.

"Once it had calibrated itself based on the data it collected over the course of a week, it moved onto Stage Two of its integration protocol."

"Stage Two?" Pearson echoed. "You make it sound like a software update."

"That's right. Stage Two, the organisation claimed, was devised to make later stages more comfortable for all parties."

"What did it involve?"

Alex laughed quietly.

"At first it was little things. It made sense, I guess. The machine... the Reproductive Sexual Intelligence Device... would interact with Jacq... Jacqueline... getting to know her. Understanding her. Helping her feel more at ease."

Pearson made another note.

"Go on."

"It started with conversation."

"And then?"

"It remembered everything she'd told it."

Reynolds nodded.

"That doesn't sound particularly sinister."

"No."

Alex managed a faint smile.

"Neither did the tea."

"The tea?"

"It started making her tea after difficult days."

Alex looked down.

"She smiled more."

"Then it remembered she liked a glass of Shiraz in the evenings."

"It always knew exactly when to pour it."

"And then?"

"Shoulder massages to ease her tension."

"To reduce stress hormones?" Reynolds asked.

Alex nodded.

"Then baths before procedure nights."

"And then?"

"It chose the music."

Pearson frowned.

"The music?"

"It knew what helped her relax."

He looked down at the table.

"Eventually... it started deciding when Jacqueline was emotionally ready."

Silence settled over the room.

"How did that make you feel?" Reynolds asked.

Alex stared at his hands for a long moment.

"Honestly... lost."

He swallowed.

"There was a time when I still felt part of it all."

Another pause.

"But as the machine progressed..."

He looked up.

"...I spent more and more time waiting to be told when I was needed."

"For the procedure, presumably?" Pearson asked.

Alex looked at him for a long moment.

"Oh no."

Pearson stopped writing.

"The machine took over that role."

"It was still my sperm... but it didn't feel like us anymore."

Silence settled over the interview room.

Reynolds looked from Alex to Pearson.

"What exactly do you mean by 'the procedure'?" she asked quietly.

Alex closed his eyes.

"I mean sexual intercourse."

Neither detective spoke.

"It was always the plan."

Reynolds blinked.

"I'm sorry... are you telling us the machine had sex with your wife?"

"Yes."

"And you consented to that?"

Alex nodded slowly.

"I'd do anything for my Jacq... Jacqueline."

"She was happy. That was more important than almost anything to me." 

"It was all about optimisation. My sperm... the perfect delivery system."

"The machine?"

Alex nodded again.

"His designation was RSID-7, but Jacqueline called him Sid."

"You said this was relevant to what happened on the sixth of June?"

"I'm getting to that. Like I said, Sid became a bigger part of our lives than I'd really prepared for."

"She laughed more. She seemed to enjoy spending time with him."

"Sometimes she'd speak to him before me."

"It got to the point where optimisation meant I had to treat Jacqueline more like a roommate than a wife."

"Then I wasn't allowed to call her Jacq."

"They told me it helped them bond and that using the nickname myself might confuse his circuitry."

"One particular moment still hurts. Jacqueline had been upset after we'd argued. One of the programmers told her to power up Sid instead of calling her mum or talking to me. He ran her a bath and made her one of those fancy hot chocolates she liked. I asked if I could sit with my wife while she bathed. She told me to ask Sid if that was permitted."

""He said yes.

Then, as I walked past him, he held my arm.

'One moment please, Alex. It's a procedure night. We wouldn't want anything to upset Jacqueline. Her emotional state is currently optimal for the procedure to be successful tonight.'"

He looked at the detectives.

"I wasn't even allowed to kiss her on procedure nights."

Silence settled over the interview room once again.

Reynolds leaned across and murmured something into Pearson's ear.

Pearson closed his notebook.

"So tell me about the fire."

Alex looked up.

"Was it your intention to kill Jacqueline?"

Alex sank lower in his chair before suddenly sitting upright. For the first time since the interview began, anger broke through.

He slammed his palms against the table.

"No!"

The recorder rattled.

"It was to destroy that bastard. Sid."

Neither detective spoke.

"Jacqueline wasn't even home."

Pearson watched him for a moment.

"So you deliberately set fire to the house knowing the machine was inside?"

"Yes."

"And you knew the machine was government property?"

"I didn't care."

Pearson glanced at Reynolds before making one final note.

"So that's why this case landed on our desk."

"It was worth it!" Alex snapped.

The words hung in the air.

After a long silence, he looked down at his hands.

Even as he said them...

...he wasn't entirely sure they were true.

---

The trial was brief.

Closed to the public.

The press never mentioned it.

The official record described the incident as the unlawful destruction of government property during a nationally significant research programme.

Alex Crawford received a custodial sentence.

A replacement unit was deployed within seventy-two hours.

Jacqueline remained under the care of the Organisation.

---

Epilogue

"Crawford. Letter."

Alex looked up as the prison officer pushed an envelope through the hatch.

He unfolded the crisp white paper.

Dear Mr Crawford,

We are pleased to inform you that the RSID-7 programme has been declared a complete success.

On the fourteenth of February, Jacqueline Crawford gave birth to a healthy baby girl.

Mother and child are both doing well and remain under the care of the Organisation.

In accordance with participant preference, the child has been registered under the name Sidney.

Thank you for your invaluable contribution to the future of human reproduction.

Yours faithfully,

The Reproductive Integration Directorate

Alex read the letter again.

Then a third time.

"A girl named Sidney."

*

Thanks for reading!

This is for L.C.'s latest awesome and inspirational challenge. Dollar Challenge - Quote Me Baby (Marital Bliss Edition)