Open For Inspection
By Jess Boyes
"If walls could talk," he chuckled to himself.
Looking out the window, “here comes the agent, I can see her car coming up the drive.”
“Pfft, open days,” he said.
“Aww, don’t be like that. It’s fun to have all sorts come in and check us out. Got a new coat of paint out of it.”
“Easy for you to say. You’re the north facing wall, and with a view. I’m just the wall that makes up the study nook. The extra bit that no one knew what to do with. The storage corner for people to lean their crap on.”
“Storage space is a good selling point.”
“Pffft.”
At the main entrance, they hear the real estate agent come in, her heels clopping.
North Facing chuckles, “be glad you’re not the floor.”
Chuckling, “or the toilet!”
They both laugh out loud, “or the toilet brush!”
They hear the agent on the move, clopping along toward the front door. North Facing can see her unpacking her car. She takes an a-frame sign out, that reads “OPEN HOUSE” and has a large arrow pointing out the direction. It’s an awkward size and a little bit of a struggle for her to carry it to the end of the drive, then finds it hard to open it up properly, but she makes it.
Looking on, North Facing says, “pfft, about time.”
“You know the least you could do is tell me what you see. I get to see a whole lot of nothing over here!” Study Nook says in a huff.
“Aww, sorry mate, there’s not much to tell. Same as last week, really. She was in struggle town but got there in the end.” He watches her head back toward the house, collects the marketing material that she left by the car and walks back in; the familiar clopping sound as she enters the house.
“I really don’t know why you think these things are fun. All the people coming in, clomping around, staring at us, and talking about us like we’re not even here!”
North Facing sighs, “Aww, c’mon Nooks, it’s not that bad. You should be happy when they come. It’s a bit of entertainment for you.”
“Until it isn’t.”
“Remember when that couple were here the last time, and they were getting a little, you know, extra friendly with each other? Man, that was funny. Especially when the agent busted them. I kept thinking to myself, get a room,”
“But we WERE the room!”
“Heh, heh, heh, yeah, true that,” North Facing tries to contain his laughter.
“It wasn’t you they were leaning up against, either.”
“True again!” North Facing erupts in laughter.
“Okay, laugh it up. Make Study Nook the butt of the joke.”
“Didn’t you see a bit of bu…”
“Shut up Facey!”
North Facing’s laughter eventually dies down and there’s a moment of silence.
Study Nook breaks the silence, “I hope they find a new tenant soon.”
“Yeah, it’d be nice to find someone who’ll stay and settle in. No more of these six-month leases.”
“Twelve months, minimum,” Study Nook agrees.
“Might be nice to get a small family in.”
“God, no! Double income, no kids. That’s what I wanna see.”
North Facing chuckles, “Kids aren’t so bad.”
“Teenagers, maybe.”
“You’re such a grump!”
“You forget what little kids are like. Running around, bumping into us, putting their grubby hands on us with God knows what’s on them. They’re noisy, crying at all hours of the night, they never clean up after themselves, then the older ones stick targets on us and throw darts that miss the actual target in the first place…”
“Okay, Nooks. I get it,” he chuckles, “sure, there’s all of that, but it’s not all bad all the time. Kids are kids, you know? I enjoy them, even when they’re being little shitheads. It’s better than being a cold, empty room with no life in it.”
“I guess,” Study Nook reluctantly agrees, “see what happens.”
North Facing looks out the window, “here we go,” a small group of people are seen slowly coming up the drive and looking around the space as they head to the entrance, “the first round are here, better brace yourself, Nooks.”
Study Nook sighs, “Okay, let’s do this.”
They hear the real estate agent call out, “Welcome!”
About the Creator
Jess Boyes
From Melbourne, Australia, I love creative writing and food, particularly a good quality cheese or some sort of dairy.
Reader insights
Outstanding
Excellent work. Looking forward to reading more!
Top insights
Compelling and original writing
Creative use of language & vocab
Easy to read and follow
Well-structured & engaging content
Excellent storytelling
Original narrative & well developed characters
Expert insights and opinions
Arguments were carefully researched and presented
Eye opening
Niche topic & fresh perspectives
Heartfelt and relatable
The story invoked strong personal emotions
Masterful proofreading
Zero grammar & spelling mistakes
On-point and relevant
Writing reflected the title & theme
Comments (6)
Lllooovvveeelllyyy. Damn funny and creative too. Love it.
I'm so happy this got a Top Story! Loved this so much! Congratulations!
The banter was fantastic!! I love how much personality they each had. Wonderful work :) Congratulations on top Story!!
Such an inventive piece. I love the way you imbued the house parts with such character in such a short piece. You made every word count. Great job.
Congrats on Top Story, Jess. So very well deserved. This was a hoot! So imaginative and hilarious. Love how much personality you put into the walls and the banter was spot on!
This was so creative and fun! I loved Study Nook. I found him very relatable as I'm not a fan of kids, lol! Fantastic take on the challenge!