Once Upon a Time in a Dark Woods

Old Man Birk

Birk’s Woods is at the end of long gravel road that leads to the Birk's Farm. Just past the Farm is my private Avalon. No one goes there much because old man Birk is crazy. Everybody knows he keeps a shot gun loaded with rock salt on his front porch and when he sees people going into his woods he likes to shoot at them.

Old man Birk isn’t so bad once you get to know him. Last week Mike Schuler and I were playing up on 15th street when a poultry truck drove by and took the corner too fast. A crate with four chickens fell off. As twelve year old kids this was like finding a pot of gold. After the initial thrill we realized chickens are a foul treasure. They stink and never shut up . So we took them to the only farmer we knew.

Old man Birk was standing on his porch with the famous shot gun in hand as we walked down his driveway with a crate of chickens cared between us. Mike was not happy about this adventure. He was saying. “This isn’t play’n army, he’s got a real gun and I really don’t want to get shot."

Mr. Birk shouted. “That’s far enough boys. What can I do for you?” He lowered his gun and smiled, just a little. Mike stopped cold and we set the crate down. “Mr. Birk, we’re sorry to intrude, but we found this crate of chickens and well we thought you might have a use for them” I said as I took a step forward. “They fell off a truck and we grabbed them. We don’t have any way of taking care of them so we hoped you would take’m.”

He laughed and set his gun down. “Come up to the porch boys and bring those chickens. I’ll get y’a some ice tea. I bet you got thirsty carry’n that crate all the way out here.” As we walked to the porch Mike whispered. “Let’s drop the crate and run. I don’t think this is a good idea.”

“Let me do the talking, okay? It’ll be fine.” I told him as we went up the last three steps.

Mr. Birk came out the door with a pitcher of tea and a couple of glasses. He smiled and said. “I expected you would’ve dropped the crate and ran once I was inside.” Chuckling he continued. “I don’t get many visitors as you might expect.”

I took the glass of ice tea he handed me. “We would not have bothered you except we didn’t know what else to do. Our parents wouldn’t let us keep them and they kind of stink.”

“Well you could have taken them to a butcher and had yourself some fresh fried chicken. Or don’t you eat animals?” he said eyeing us while sipping his tea. “I’m sure someone would have loved to cook’m up and had a feast.” I sensed sarcasm. Like when my mom would say. “So you think your room is going to clean itself, or I’m just waiting until you go to school so I can do it for you because I don’t have anything better to do.”

So I figured he was kinda testing us and that means he wanted something. I have always had a knack when it came to figuring out what grown-ups want. It's a kind of game. Like charades or even chess sometimes, but I have to anticipate what they want even before they know what it is. I think I had Mr. Birk figured out, but I had to be carful. If adults think you understand the game they usually stop play and treat you like a kid. You've got to tell'm what they want to hear without them realizing you’ve figured out what they want. They want to believe they're in control.

“Mr. Birk, we don’t want these birds to die. They fell off a truck and they're our responsibility. We eat animals, but we don’t kill’m. I find the company of animals preferable to most people. That’s why I sneak into your woods. It’s a special place, so I figured this would be a good home for rescue chickens.” I took a long sip of my tea and waited for his reply.

“So you’re the one keeps sneak’n past my gate. I thought as much. What do you like about that woods boy that you’d risk get’n shot with rock salt?” He tried looking serious and Mike looked like he was going to bolt, but I knew my hunch was right.

“Well I figured if you didn’t shoot me after the first or second time you probably would’t and besides it’s about the only place I can go to be alone. Sometimes I like to just be in the woods and pretend it’s magical and that the animals will talk to me if they get to know me.”

He did’t laugh or make a wise crack. He just sipped his tea and looked more relieved than mad. Kind’a like I passed a test. Mike looked at me like I was crazy and chugged his tea.

"Come on Arther I have to get home. My mom’s going to kill me if I’m late for dinner again.” He started down the steps without waiting.

Smiling, I went on. “Thanks for take’n the chickens and the tea. I hope they find a good home here.” He smiled and set his glass down.

“You can call me Ray. I appreciate you boys thinking of me and sharing a little tea. I’m not the social type, so I understand what you was say’n. Feel free to visit my woods anytime, but don’t bring any of you friends. It’s a magical place and I'd like to keep it that way.”

I reached out to shake his hand and he looked surprised at first, but reached out. He had a firm but friendly grip and at that moment I knew it was okay. We had an understanding, an agreement. I wasn’t sure exactly what it was, but it seemed very binding.

He said quietly so only I heard him. “Maybe next time you're in my woods the animals will know you better and they’ll talk to you. They talk to me sometimes when I’m in a mood to listen.”

Who, Who Goes There

We’re studying Amphibians in Biology Class and Mr Schuler, our teacher, wants us to catch frogs to study, but I hate frogs. I know where I can find something better. Salamanders. So my quest for the elusive Shimmering Salamander is on. I’ve seen bio-luminescent traces in Birk’s Woods, but never a glowing Salamander, but I know they are there.

It’s been neatly a week since the chicken incident and I haven’t been to the woods since. I thought I’d seen some mud trails of Salamanders before so I went straight there after school. The days are getting shorter and by the time I got to the entrance it was already getting dark. As I stood where the gravel road ends and turns into a dirt trail, I check my gear. Always have some trail mix, a flashlight, rope, a decent knife and a backpack to carry them in before going on an adventure.

Even though I am familiar with these woods it’s always a little scary when you first enter. You feel a thousand little creatures looking at you with their eyes, ears and noses. You may not know they’re there, but they know you are. As I make my way down the path it grows darker and quieter. Rounding the bend just before I get to the creek I'm startled by a rustling in the old oak tree. A huge white Barn Owl lands on a branch over my head and hoots.

“Who, who goes there?” I was so startled I dropped my flashlight and was about to run when I realized I understood what it said. I remembered what Ray, Mr. Birk, said. “Maybe next time you're in my woods the animals will know you better and they’ll talk to you...”

I stood there looking up not knowing what to say.

“Don’t you know your own name, or did the chipmunk get your tung?"

Now that made me giggle. I think it upset the Owl because he opened his wings to full span, at least six feet tip to tip, and continued in a serious hooting voice.

“The Wizard said you were coming and it was okay to talk to you, but he didn’t say you was mute. Don’t be shy human, I’m here to guid you and teach you. Not waiting all day for you to speak.”

Regaining my senses, or loosing them entirely, I finally spoke.

“Master Owl, I apologize for my silence, I meant no disrespect. Mr. Birk, the Wizard, mentioned I might be able to talk to the occupants of these woods, but I thought he was pulling my leg.” Still not sure what to do, or say, I waited to see if this was really happening.

“Why would the Wizard pull your leg? What earthly good would that do? I understand much, but humans are the most confounding creatures in all of creation.”

Even if this wasn’t real it was pretty cool, so I decided to play along. "I beg your pardon. let me introduce myself. I'm Arther, Arther Doolittle and though I often talk to birds and animals, this is the first occasion they’ve talked back.” Bowing I picked up my flashlight.

“Well, Arther, Arther Doolittle that’s better and I am glad to make your acquaintance. You have been granted the ability to communicate with us because the Wizard has deemed you worthy. We do not normally converse with humans because they rarely make sense, or tell the truth. We find it safer to keep our distance.” The Owl was pacing back and forth on the thick branch, always keeping his eyes on me. It was a little creepy.

“Please just call me Arther. How may I address you Master Owl? Do you have a name?”

“Of course I have a name, who, who, doesn’t have a name? You may call me Merlin. Though I am an Owl I assure you, the Wizard insist in calling me this absurd name, but what is one to do. Wizards will be Wizards now won’t they?”

He stopped pacing and got very still, then swooped down flying just passed my head as I stood stone still. I could feel the wind from his wings whistling in my right ear as he passed.

“My apologies Arther, but I get very hungry when I talk so much and I really could not let this little morsel get away.” As he gulped down what I took to be a field mouse.

“Quite all right Merlin, I know what you mean.” I reached in my backpack and took out a bag of trail mix and had a hand full. “I was getting hungry myself.”

“What brings you to the dark woods at this hour Arther. Are you on a quest or just trying to get lost?” he said as he started to walk down the trail deeper into the woods. I followed.

“I am on a quest. I have a biology assignment and I’m supposed to find some frogs, but I hate frogs. They're so froggy, you know what I mean?” Merlin looked up and winked which I took to mean agreement. “So I thought I’d find some Salamanders to take to class. I think Salamanders are much cooler, especially the ones that glow in the dark. I thought I could find them when they’re glowing.” Merlin flew up to a branch and looked down at me with an unreadable expression.

“It’s not common to let anyone take creatures from these woods. It is protected by spells and powers greater than I fathom. The Wizard did instruct me to assist you in your studies, but I am not sure that taking creatures from the woods is what he meant.”

“I assure you I mean no harm. I want to show the class the wonders in these woods, so they can learn to appreciate it. Plus I really want to see the Salamanders glow.”

Merlin pondered this a moment and gave three loud hoots and moments later a response of three hoots was heard. He looked down at me.

“You have been granted permission to take two Shimmering Salamanders for one cycle of the moon. They are to help you in your lessons and shall be returned by the next moon rise. No harm is to come to them. It is your responsibility to bring them back safely. Do you understand Arther?”

Excited and a little frighted, I spoke solemnly. “It is my honor to be entrusted with the care and safety of any creatures from this magic woods and I swear that I will return these good creatures by next moon rise. I give my word.” When I finished there was a flash of light, like lightning in the woods down by the creek. The air smelled of Ozone and Peet.

“Very well Arther, come with me. We’ll find your specimens."

I walked and Merlin flew down the trail and through a thicket until we reach a bend in the creek. There was a faint glow coming from the muddy bank and when Merlin hooted the glow turned into a bright orange light. At the center of this light were two Shinning Salamanders.

Merlin introduced them. “This is Gawain and Nimue. The Wizard has instructed them to help you as best their powers will allow.”

Standing at the edge of the bank, I looked down to the creek and two Salamanders looked up and spoke. “It is our pleasure to meet you. It's been many years since we've been called to service of the Wizard. It’s our great honer to be of use to you.” They attempted what I took to be a curtsy bending at the waist with a flourish of the tail as their color brightened.

“Surly the pleasure is mine Gawain and Nimue. I've never seen, much less talked to, the likes of you and I'm overwhelmed with excitement and wonder.” I said as I returned a bow nearly falling into the creek.

“Enough pleasantries. It’s getting dark and I’m getting hungry. Why don’t you put those legs to work and scoot down the bank and scoop up your charges and be on your way.” Merlin said.

Taking his advice I slid down to the edge of the creek and let Gawain and Nimue crawl into my backpack. I had a black shoe box for their transport. I grabbed some moss, leaves and a few twigs to make it more pleasant. They seemed quite pleased as they settled in.

“Very elegant carriage you have devised for us Arther.” Gawain exclaimed “Most accommodating indeed.” Nimue echoed. “Most accommodating.”

When they were safely stowed away Merlin gave me one last warning.

“Remember Arther, you have sworn in the dark woods to return these magical creatures the Great Wizard of the Dark Woods has bequeathed thee for one moon rise. This is a solum trust that caries penalties. Do not fail. No harm is to come to them and they must be back by moon rise.”

“I understand Merlin, I will not fail you or the great Wizard.

Biology 101

On my way home I thought about what happened and began to wonder if it was all a dream or dilution. It was after supper when I got home, but my mom is used to that. One of the advantages of being a nerdy loner is people take it for granted when you flake out. I said my hellos, grabbed my dinner and maneuvered to my room with little trouble.

“I’m home, sorry I’m late. Got caught up talking to this Owl in the woods and time just few buy. His name's Merlin and he’s like the guardian of the woods or something.”

Mom, chuckled. “Just few by did it? An Owl, really? That must have been interesting. You better get your home work done. I don’t want to get any more calls from your teachers about not being prepared.” As she went into the living room to catch her programs.

“I’ll get right on it Mom.” She never believes me so I tell her what ever and she’s okay with that.

Once in the safety of my room, I open my backpack and take out the black box. Setting it on my desk, I carefully removed the lid. Gawain and Nimue were peaking out from under the leafs and twigs.

“Gawain, Nimue are you still in there?”

“We really have no where else to be Arther.” Gawain piped up. He came out to the mossy knoll and Nimue remained under some leaves.

“Master Arther it is time we had a talk about what the Wizard would like us to help you with.” Nimue said as she joined Gawain on the Moss. “We are instructed to educate you about the practice of conversing with none human creatures as well what you want us for, of course."

“You see.” Gawain picks up. “We non-human creatures have been able to communicate with each other since the beginning of all things. We don’t normally speak to humans because it is dangerous for us and for you.” Puzzled I reply. “I see how it would be dangerous for you, but how is it dangerous for humans?”

Gawain answers. “Humans are very insecure. You have this need to feel in control. Masters of this and that. Egocentric I believe it is called. Your whole existence is governed by the belief that you are unique. That you own things, sometimes even other humans. We on the other hand understand that all creatures are equal and it is in this way we share the woods, or the world as you would say.”

“There is no ownership only sharing.” Nimue interrupts “When humans loose their sense of superiority, other humans feel threatened. Their feelings of superiority is threatened.”

Gawain continues. “It doesn’t make much sense, so do not dwell on it. The Wizard sensed a lack of this in you and hopes if you have a chance to talk with the creatures of the wood you could come to understand the path of selflessness. Of being one with the woods and all creatures.”

“I think I understand. The Wizard wants me to learn to be less human and more animal? To not be so worried about what is best for me, but what is best for the greater good. For all creatures. Right?” Gawain crawled up on to one of the branches and looked serious.

“That is a beginning, but there is more to it. Humans are getting to the point they are destroying the ecosystem because of their ego’s. The Wizard wants you to learn our ways to an extent that you will be able to teach other humans so someday humans and the non-humans can live in harmony.”

“Wow, that’s a lot to take in. I mean yeah, great idea, but I’m twelve. How am I going to do something like that? I can’t even do my homework most of the time.” My voice cracks as I respond in a panicky tone. Nimue’s calming voice tries to reassure me.

“This will take time. We do not want to pressure you. We want to make you aware of how the world really is so you learn and grow. You will become part of the solution and not the problem. With luck you will help other humans see what you have learned. There are many on this path and it’s the Wizard’s belief, eventually, all humans will learn to be at peace with nature and themselves.”

“Well that sounds better. Like a knight of the round table, but instead of chivalry its ecology. I think I can do that. I want to do that.” I felt very proud of myself in that moment, but I would later find out that too is another manifestation of ego. Eventually I would get it, but it would take many years and many hard lessons.

I wanted to prepare them for the next day so I tried to explain. “I’m going to take you to Biology Class tomorrow for a show and tell. It’s how humans learn, in schools, with teachers.” They sort of understood, but I could tell they really didn’t get it.

When I turned out the lights I could see an orange glow coming from the air holes in the black box. It gave me a sense of wonder to think about the experiences of that day and I imagined myself as a hero saving the planet from greedy selfish people. I was so naive.

The next morning I got up late as usual and had to rush to school with Gawain and Nimue bouncing around in my backpack. I checked on them and they said they where fine, but I felt guilty about dragging them around. I was looking forward to showing off my new friends until I realized that was ego. I think I was starting to get it, but I wasn’t sure what to do about it.

In Biology I sat between two of the coolest girls in our class Gwen and Becky. Gwen was a cheerleader, a real girl next door and super friendly. Becky was a tomboy. She was funny and smart. They were the two girls in our class that all the guys wanted to be with and today they only wanted to hang out with me and my Salamanders.

“Arther, where did you find the Salamanders, they’re so beautiful.” Becky said as she tried to touch one, but Gawain scurried under a leaf. “It’s really fast. Do they glow in the dark?”

Gwen Leaned over looking in the box as Nimue came out onto the mossy knoll and gave a faint orange blush. “Wow, how do they do that? It’s crazy. I wish I could glow like that.”

Recovering my composure I remembered I need to stay cool. “It’s called bioluminescence and a lot of animals and plants have it. They, Gawain and Nimue, usually do it in the dark, but they can turn it on when they want I guess.” Feeling kind of nerdy I got embarrassed.

“You gave them Names, Gawain and Nimue, like in the story of King Arther?” Becky said as she looked at me in a way that made me both uncomfortable and happy. Gwen seemed a little jealous just as Mr. Schuler, our biology teacher, called for attention.

“Good morning class, please take your seats. First we need to take roll, then we can get started.”

After roll, Mr. Schuler started his lecture about Amphibians and the part they play in the ecosystem and evolution. It was pretty interesting, but I was having trouble concentrating because I still had butterflies in my belly and Gawain and Nimue wouldn’t shut up.

“I think the you have some admirers. They seem very interested in you Arther.” Gawain says as Nimue cuts in. “Oh, leave it be Gawain, can’t you see you're making Arther uncomfortable? A gentleman does not talk of such matters.” She chuckled as she finished.

“Enough!” I said out loud, not used to the telepathic arts like my new friends I did not relies I shouted.

“Mr. Doolittle, do you have something to add to the lesson, or are you day-dreaming again?”

The class cracks up, but gets themselves under control quickly because Mr. Schuler does not tolerate disturbances in his Classroom.

“Sorry, Mr. Schuler, I guess I was day-dreaming.”

“Anything you want to share with the rest of us or is it a private dream?” He replies.

I turn beat red and shake my head, too embarrassed to reply.

“Okay then lets continue…”

This usually happens once or twice a week, in one class or the other. I’ve gotten a reputation for being that kid who lives in his head most of the time. I’m usually okay with that, but today I was in a different place. I felt admired and the center of attention when I was knocked off my pedestal into the mud of ridicule. It did not feel good. I heard Nimue in my head.

“Arther, this is one of the lessons to learn. Ego leads to conceit and then disappointment when the ego doesn’t get what it wants. You need to channel these feelings so you are at peace with both the good and bad feelings. They are just feelings and can’t hurt you.”

I thought I understood, but I still felt like an idiot.

The last half of the class Mr. Schuler had us come up and make a circle around the demonstration table. He brought out a Frog he had prepared. It was split down the middle and pinned open so we could see the organs and the juicy insides. It was horrible!

“Now class you need to take notes as I take inventory of the organs and where to find them. You will be dissecting your specimens tomorrow. This will be a significant part of your grade so pay attention.” Mr. Schuler droned as if he was describing what he had for lunch yesterday.

Panic set in as I realized I had brought Gawain and Nimue to their death and I wouldn’t be able to keep my promise to Merlin. I would be banned from the woods, or worse. I wanted to grab my box and run, but knew I wouldn’t get far. Mr. Schuler would just cut them up to spite me. I needed a plan to get them out without anyone knowing. I needed a distraction.

Mike Schuler, Mr. Schuler’s son, is my best friend. Well the closest thing I have to a friend and I’ll need his help. Mike’s a good kid, but he’s more afraid of his dad than the rest of us. It won’t be easy to convince him, but he usually does what I want. I signal him to come to the back of the room.

“Mike, I didn’t realize your dad was going to have us kill our specimens. I need to save my Salamanders and I need your help.” He looked at me like I asked him to rob a bank.

“I can’t do that! He’ll kill me for sure. You don’t know what you're asking Arther. I wouldn’t know what to do. I’ll screw it up and make it worse.” Shaking his head he looked like he might start crying.

“Listen Mike, you can do this. I have faith in you! I need you! Just go up front like you want to get a better look and kinda be clumsy, your good at that right, I mean that shouldn’t be hard. Just bump the tray so it falls on the floor. I’ll grab my box and ditch.” He just looked at me. “It’s almost time for the bell to ring so there’l be a lot of confusion. It should work just fine. You’ll see. Please!”

He didn’t like it, but Mike's a trooper at heart and I think he secretly likes tormenting his dad, he just needs to be motivated. As he walks up to front I work my way over to the pantry where we put our specimens. I got my box with Gawain and Nimue out. They were glad I had returned.

“Thought you deserted us.” Said Gawain. “I knew you'd be back for us Arther. What a ghastly place this is. Please get us back to the woods.” Nimue pleaded.

As I was about to make a break for it I saw the Frogs waiting for their ordeal planed for tomorrow. Even though I really don’t like Frogs, no one deserves the torture and humiliation that was to be dealt them. So I amended the plan.

Just as Mike knocked the tray with the dissected Frog to the floor and all hell broke loose with screaming kids and a yelling teacher, I set all of the Frogs free. Taking the lids off of the specimen jars and setting them on the floor. They all started jumping around trying to find a way out. The floor drain had a loose cover so I pried it off and shoved a few Frogs in and the others seem to get the idea. I think Gawain had something to do with it because frogs really are not that bright.

As I was slipping out the back door of the classroom and I saw Becky watching me with a smile on her face as she gave a knowing nod. I felt like a big damn hero as I slipped out the door, but I knew that was ego.

I will needed to work on that.