Oh, You Scombottled Dool Ass!

I searched high and low for my phone. I was sure that I had put it on the chair arm, but it wasn't there.

"What the fuck?" I said to my friend, Janice who was trying to help me find it.

We searched the lounge, kitchen, bathroom, toilet, and the children's rooms. We even checked all around the outside of the house, in-case I had dropped it on the way in.

"This is no use! It must have been stolen while we were at the park!" I complained.

"It's not in the car, is it?" Janice asked me.

"That's not possible. I haven't used the car, I explained while pacing the floor in frustration.

I decided to finally sit down and have a think.

"Watch out!" Janice said laughing.

I looked in my chair, and to my surprise, my phone was staring back at me!

"Oh, you Scombottled Dool Ass!" Jan exclaimed.

I asked her for a meaning, and she said

"When you lose something, only to find you're sitting on it."

I stared at her, and replied,

"You cheeky Fucker!"