Nurture

‘How can a sixteen-year old be such a bitch?!’ She wondered aloud, to the point of screaming, as she slammed the door behind her. She had the complete attention of five of the other teachers in the room, whilst one remained hidden behind a newspaper.

‘Pandora I’m guessing?’ another female staff member said.

‘Literally counting down the days to when I never have to deal with her again, we should have kicked her out years ago,’ the angry teacher said.

An older teacher spoke from behind his copy of The Times; ‘Is she really that bad?’

‘Trust me you’ve no idea. It’s all right for you only doing A-levels, teaching kids who actually want to be here.’

‘Is this young lady not staying on for A-levels?’ He said after lowering the newspaper.

‘No chance, she hates school as much as we hate her, beside she’s not clever enough for A-levels.’

‘She seems to have infuriated virtually an entire staff team, without being kicked out of school. I’d say that shows a great deal of intelligence. Anyone ever spoken to her?’

‘What kind of question is that?’ The angry teacher snapped. ‘She must know our respect rules better than anybody, she’s had them recited to her so much.’

‘That’s talking at her, I asked if anyone had talked to her? I’m guessing if no one has ever talked to her, no one has ever listened to her either. If no one had listened to you for sixteen years, wouldn’t you be a bitch?’ Dr Mason didn’t wait for an answer, instead he got up and left the staff room.

Dr Mason waited by the main pupil exit from the school.

‘Pandora can we have a chat?’ He asked as he blocked her path to the doorway.

‘Would love to, but I’ve got a bus to catch,’ Pandora said with fake disappointment.

‘You walk home.’

‘How do you know that?’ Pandora looked a little taken aback.

‘I’m an observer by nature.’

‘Sounds creepy. Any way I’m not going home, I’m going town,’ Pandora said and then took a step to the side and went to go for the doorway again.

‘Come on, I’m giving you the chance to piss off one more teacher before you go home,’ Dr Mason said as he stepped to block her path again.

‘Teachers aren’t allowed to swear, it’s against the fucking rules,’ Pandora replied with a smug smile.

‘Just like you I’ve never been one for rules.’

‘What do you wanna talk about?’

‘What I really want to do is listen.’

‘What could I have to say that a Doctor would want to hear?’

‘I really want to know how one girl can cause so much stress amongst so many of my colleagues and why she has so little respect for them.’

‘I’ll respect them when they respect me.’

‘That’s one of the mantras I teach by.’

‘You’re saying you respect me?’

‘I respect your ability to control the mood of adults around you. From this brief conversation I respect the way you make good eye contact when you talk, the way you stand up for yourself in an assertive manner and the way you have listened to everything I’ve said. Will that do for now?’

‘You’re freaky weird for a teacher,’ Pandora said with a little shake of her head. ‘Okay, you got me, where are we going for this chat?’

‘This class room will do,’ he pointed to an empty classroom a few yards away, then opened the class room door, walked through and held the door open for Pandora. ‘Take a seat,’ he said and Pandora sat down in the nearest chair and gently threw her school bag onto the floor.

‘Just how old are you?’ Pandora asked as he sat down on the opposite side of the desk to her.

‘Rumours flying all over school are they?’ He said after a little laugh.

‘Some say you are a young looking seventy.’

‘Seventy?! I can crush that rumour straight away, I’m only fifty-three.’

‘And you’re a real Doctor?’

‘Yes.’

‘What of?’

‘Behavioural psychology.’

‘That’s vaguely interesting,’ she conceded.

‘I’m classed as an expert in human behaviour, I could’ve worked for the police, or the government, even MI5. You know why I’ve spent virtually all of my professional life in high schools?’

‘Is it the teenage girls, or the teenage boys? It’s really hard to tell with you.’

‘That the sort of thing you say that pisses the teachers off so much?’

‘Yeah they struggle with it so much more if you say it calmly.’

‘Why do you want to piss them off so much?’

‘You’re the expert.’

He smiled and nodded a little. ‘You think by being this bitchy that two things will happen, one is that people will think you’re so confident that they will never guess you’re in so much pain. The other is that people will never want to get close enough to you to find out the truth. Somewhere along the line something has made you feel that asking for help is a sign of weakness.’

About half-way through his answer Pandora broke off eye contact, and started messing with the collection of rubber wristbands on her left hand.

‘They hand out those PhDs like fucking confetti at a wedding.’

‘Am I wrong?’ He tried to get eye contact once again, but Pandora wouldn’t let it happen.

‘What else has your creepy observing come up with?’

‘Cs in absolutely every subject last year.’

‘What can I say, I’m just an average student,’ Pandora briefly made eye contact, then went back to starring at her wrist bands.

‘In around thirty years do you know how many pupils I’ve seen in all that time that have got Cs in everything?’

‘No idea but I’m dying to find out, could you email me the answer? [email protected].’

‘None, you’re the first one I’ve ever seen. Not even the odd B or D. You are holding back, because outstanding grades wouldn’t fit in with the character you play. It also shows that you have the tiniest bit of give a crap left.’

‘Go on this is fascinating,’ Pandora didn’t try to hide her sarcasm.

‘Okay then let’s look at what you wear.’

‘You’re not supposed to call me a slut.’

‘You’re not a slut, just like you’re not a bitch, even though you wear the shortest skirt you can possibly get away with, no matter how cold it gets. Conversely no matter how hot it gets, you always wear tights.’

‘You really are getting creepy now, checking out my arse and legs.’

‘There you go, on the attack, your best form of defence isn’t it? We’re in the middle of a heat wave and not only are you still wearing your tights, you never take that jumper off. What are you hiding?’

‘I’m not hiding anything, I just don’t want to look like all of the sluts that go here,’ Pandora was now looking around the room as she spoke, eye-contact was no longer happening at all.

‘Those sleeves often ride up a little. That’s why you cover your wrists so much.’

‘These are all charity wristbands,’ Pandora said as she held up her left hand. ‘I thought I’d get some credit for that.’

‘I do like seeing a young person who is charitable. Doesn’t explain the ever-present sweat band on the other wrist though.’

‘It’s called style, they probably didn’t have it when you were young.’

‘You want to know why I chose to work in schools?’

‘Apart from the teenage boys and girls?’

‘Because it’s easier to make strong children, than repair broken adults.’

Pandora closed her eyes and took a deep breath in and out, she opened her eyes, made brief eye contact then looked back down at her wrists. ‘I’m already broken.’

‘Everybody is broken to some degree, it’s just a matter of whether we are beyond repair,’ Dr Mason replied, Pandora took a long, slow breath out as she flicked at her charity wristbands with her right hand and stared blankly downwards.

‘Whatever you would have done to repair me doesn’t matter, I am way beyond that stage now.’

‘Trust me, you are not beyond repair, nowhere near, the only thing stopping you getting fixed is your unwillingness to ask for help.’

‘Don’t do your mind reading bull shit on me,’ Pandora snapped a little then sniffed and rubbed her nose.

‘I’m guessing this is the first time any member of staff has seen you even close to upset.’

‘I’m not up….’

‘Before you carry on lying to yourself,’ Dr Mason interrupted. ‘Let me tell you that body language is my specialty.’

‘I’m this close to walking out right now,’ Pandora shouted and held her thumb and index finger of her right hand less than an inch apart, as tears began to form in her eyes.

‘Yet you’re still here, a member of staff is thoroughly pissing you off and you’re still sat there. Because finally someone is listening to you and showing they care. You’ve been crying out for help in your own way for years, but no one has heard you. I don’t even think you cut your wrists anymore, you cover them to see if someone cares enough to notice.’

‘Stop trying to get inside my head, trust me you don’t want go there.’

‘I know it’s a dark place, that’s why you used to cut your wrists and now you probably cut somewhere else.’

‘That’s none of your fucking business!’ Pandora shouted.

‘I’m making it my business.’

Pandora turned to face him and wiped both her eyes, first with one hand, then the other. ‘Go on then, tell me why I do it, you’re obviously loving this,’ she spoke quietly and then looked down at the table.

‘I think you are dealing with some severe mental and emotional pain, and sometimes the only way you feel you can cope with it is if you inflict enough physical pain on yourself that it will override your other feelings, at least for a few sweet moments.’

Pandora put both her hands to her face, at first covering her eyes, then moving her hands a little so that they only covered her mouth and nose, but both tear filled eyes became visible. For a few moments she just looked at Dr Mason, neither one of them in a rush to speak.

‘Are all kids this easy to read for you?’ Pandora asked him after lowering her hands to the table.

‘Not all, but quite a lot, otherwise I wouldn’t be much of an expert. Doesn’t mean I know you, or what you’re going through or how you’re feeling.’

‘I bet you have some theories though,’ Pandora said with the merest hint of a smile.

‘Oh I always have theories, that’s what makes me so annoying,’ he replied causing Pandora’s smile to stay and grow ever so slightly. ‘Again I really hope I’m wrong, but my theory is you have a sickeningly horrible home life. I think your parents offer you no support at all, never give you anyone to talk to and do nothing to help your self-esteem, only to destroy it. Even worse I suspect there’s some physical abuse, hence the ever-present long sleeves and tights.’

‘You’re wrong this time,’ Pandora said quietly whilst looking down and wiping one eye.

‘Then take off your jumper.’

‘I’m sure you’re aware how dodgy that sounds,’ Pandora became louder.

‘Don’t do that, don’t switch to defence mode.’

Pandora started shaking her head as the tears began to flow again. ‘You can’t tell them, you don’t understand, you can’t tell anybody,’ she spoke through the sobs.

‘I deserve everything I get,’ she added and completely lost control of the tears, put her arms on the desk and let her head rest on them face down.

‘That’s what they tell you, I’m telling you that you certainly don’t deserve it. Who are you going to believe? Two horrible human beings who shouldn’t have the right to be parents? Or an expert in human behaviour?’

Pandora couldn’t talk, she could only cry.

‘And there is a way out,’ Dr Mason continued. ‘All you need is a few moments of courage to speak the truth.’

For a few seconds Pandora remained face down on the desk, then she slowly picked herself up and leant back in her chair. She grabbed the end of her right sleeve with the fingers of that hand, then used it to wipe both her eyes. After taking a couple of deep breathes Pandora closed her eyes for a few moments, then looked at Dr Mason.

‘Okay,’ she said. ‘Okay I’ll tell you.’

About an hour later Dr Mason was outside the room, heading back towards it with a cup of coffee in his hands. Pandora was inside the room, talking to two police officers. The female teacher who had been complaining about Pandora in the staff room earlier that day was walking by, heading for the exit, then she stopped by Dr Mason.

‘The police? I’m guessing you now see what I mean about her, glad to see someone having the gumption to do something about her,’ she said.

‘I didn’t call them for her, I called them to protect her.’

‘Protect her from what?’

‘It’s amazing what you can learn when you listen to people.’

Three months later Dr Mason walked into his little office at the high school, he accidentally stood on a big envelope on the floor, just inside his office. He opened it to find a big ‘Thank you’ card. Inside the card was a photo copy of some GCSE results, where the pupil had got A* in every subject. The written message inside the card read: ‘I thought I’d send you this because I know how much you like being right!’.

THE END