No One Lives So Easily

My Cousin and sister-in-law are model lovers. They are high school classmates and have been in love for eight years. To go to the same university as my cousin in the college entrance examination, my sister-in-law repeated it for a year and finally got into the school where my cousin was located. After graduating from University, my cousin studied postgraduate in Beijing, and my sister-in-law went to work in Shanghai. The two lived in different places for three years.

Unlike many long-distance lovers, cousin and sister-in-law never seem to think about whether to be together. What time, distance, and inability to accompany, these problems that constitute obstacles in other lovers do not seem to exist in them at all, because there is no concept of "not together" in their dictionary, but only "together". No matter what you do and how long you stay apart, it's natural to be together as long as the situation allows.

So my cousin married her sister-in-law as soon as she found a job after graduation. My cousin resigned and lived in Beijing with my cousin. Then soon there was the first boy. My sister-in-law takes care of her children at home, and my cousin works. Men farm and women weave. After a few years, I had a second child, a daughter.

Both children envy others.

My sister-in-law took care of her children at home. She opened an online shop for a while and sold baby clothes. Her business was good. Later, with a second baby, I had no time to take care of it. I closed the online store and took care of my family wholeheartedly. My cousin works in the oil port, and the treatment is also good. The two have cars and houses in Beijing and get along well with their neighbors. They often drink and have dinner together and exchange childcare classics. When my cousin has a holiday, he takes his family on a trip. I went to Qinhuangdao when I was near and Xiamen when I was far away. This year, I spent two months in Yunnan and said I also wanted to organize my friends to go to Yunnan.

In short, these two people have changed from a model couple to a model couple. Cousin has never been careless. He has a clear distinction with female classmates and colleagues. He has never had a confidant or a so-called good friend. My cousin and sister-in-law are all friends with my cousin. They don't have time to go out and wander around in Beijing. At most, they take their children to shopping malls to buy things for their children. Recently, I heard that the two are also planning to start a business together and open a restaurant. Their life is orderly and prosperous.

Besides, my cousin. My cousin is from my aunt's house and my cousin is from my third aunt's house. He is only half a year younger than me. He and his wife are childhood sweethearts. They have been together since junior high school. They love each other like glue. Cousin is the kind of man with one track mind. He likes a person and will be determined to recognize him anyway. At that time, he and his wife were good, and both families disagreed. The women's family dislikes that my cousin's family is not as good as theirs. They think it's low. Cousin's parents feel that each other is too poor and loves the rich, and know that the girl has committed suicide for love, for fear of mental health. Both families don't agree to be with each other, but they love each other. My cousin is willing to be a cow and a horse. In short, thunder will not break up. He has never wavered in his determination to be together for a moment.

Although the third aunt tried hard to persuade her, she knew she couldn't resist her cousin, so she gave up. The woman's family was also unwilling, but because of the lessons learned from the past, she thought that if her daughter did anything drastic in case of too strong opposition, it would be too late to regret at that time, so she acquiesced. The two ended their nine-year long-distance race. The third aunt's family owed them a marriage house, and the couple happily married. In 2009, two people married, or I presided over the wedding.

Once, my cousin's wife exposed the love letter that my cousin wrote to her in those years. I didn't expect that my cousin who hasn't studied very well can write such a good love letter. So I found that whether a love letter is written well or not sometimes does not depend on the style of writing, but on whether the feelings are sincere or not.

Far away.

After two people get married, they often fall in love with each other. They are a pair of lovely people in the circle of friends. Cousin's wife loves to dress up. She often dresses up her cousin as a Korean doll. Cousin continues to carry forward the spirit of being good to his wife and spoils his wife with a growing temper. I usually can't go back to my hometown several times a year, but almost every time I go back, I will meet my cousin in the snack area of the largest supermarket. As like as two peas in a cart, he was carrying a phone in his hand and pushing the shopping cart in one hand. He followed the instructions of his wife in the shopping cart to pack snacks. After a few years of marriage, they looked fat and doubled their weight like blowing air. The two fat people usually don't cook, often go to restaurants, and like to drink beer, so they can't lose weight.

People have said that happy people get fat. Love is when two people eat fat together.

When I was a kid for more than 20 years, I fell in love with a boy at first sight in the study room when I was in college. The two are in a romantic campus relationship. The group photo taken in the heavy snow makes me feel sweet when I think of it. After graduation, the two went to Beijing to find a job, rent a house and live together, and then lived a happy life. While preparing for the judicial examination, girls cook at home and wait for him to get off work. Boys work hard every day to make money. Later, the woman wanted to get married. The man said he had no house and no money. They were deadlocked for a long time. Because fa xiao liked the man and wanted to be inseparable, the woman's family prepared the house and car in Beijing in one go. After they got married, the woman became a legal adviser and the man still worked as an IT consultant. Life is happy.

I also have a best friend who married abroad many years ago, and then there was no contact. Again, she is the mother of two children. Also a daughter, and a son. Both children are very cute. She seems to have married well. When her husband chased her, she was moved by the earth. Her husband's family was in business and the environment was relatively good. She married better than her mother. She doesn't have to work, takes two children, and her parents-in-law often help her. My best friend is tall, with white skin and outstanding growth. After giving birth to two babies, I haven't seen my old age or being out of shape. Occasionally, I took a selfie and saw her driving to pick up the baby or play. I felt that she was also a happy little woman and lived the life she wanted.

The above is the ordinary life of the people around me. We brush the circle of friends every day and see the happy ending and colorful life. Therefore, it is not difficult to understand why many single people often feel sad about it. They want to be shielded when they see basking babies and wedding photos. In their eyes, the world is full of other people's happiness, which makes their envy and jealousy more obvious, and there is nowhere to hide from the emptiness, loneliness, and coldness. Someone asked me: why do other people's happiness come so easily, but my happiness is so hard?

I went to Lijiang to find friends some time ago. My friend came to the airport to meet me. On the way back to the inn, we talked about the past. She suddenly said she admired one of our classmates in Beijing. She said she married well and didn't have to work. She looked very happy. Seeing the envy in her words, I thought about it and decided to tell her the truth. I said you don't have to envy others. Everyone has their difficulties. Life will never be smooth. The female classmate you envy has wanted children since she got married. She has worked hard for five or six years without results. It's not that she doesn't want to go out to work, but her husband doesn't feel safe, but he's much better now. The friend was surprised and then silent.

Yes, it's not easy for everyone in this world. Li Ka Shing has Li Ka Shing's troubles, and tramps have the hardships of tramps. There is no perfect world and perfect life. The story always stops abruptly at the best time, but life continues with daily necessities. After the seemingly happy life every day, if you explore carefully, you will always see something else. Behind the happy happy happy ending, is the real life, which is to tear off the perfect veil and expose the reverse plot behind.

One day, my sister-in-law suddenly sent a circle of friends a lot of videos and photos of her children, saying that she first got bipolar disorder after childbirth, and then became depressed. Just one, understatement, I have felt the other side of her life. She gave up herself for her family. She didn't have her circle and career. Everything was for her children and husband. Many times, she watched her children grow up healthily and felt happy and satisfied, but there were still some times when she was lost and unhappy.

My cousin's wife had hysteromyoma and had surgery. Then I found that I didn't know when to start. Her circle of friends every day was all kinds of inspirational chicken soup. Come on and be better. Until one day I heard that my cousin fell in love with another. The biggest advantage of a man is often his biggest disadvantage. Just as he once fell in love with her, his empathy is so firm that nine cows can't pull back. And she still forced to smile, trying to make herself look less sad. Every day she still records her life happily and even arranges more programs and parties than before. Losing weight and dressing make her more and more beautiful. However, at night, she takes off the disguise of the day and exposes her fragile self. She cries alone while pouring herself and drinking.

When you marry a friend from another place, you often turn to a circle of friends such as "men may be late when you understand these principles". Later, you know that after marriage, her husband is often busy socializing and rarely goes home, and doesn't even care about the children. She had a fever in bed and he was not around. Call him. He just says he's busy. My best friend can't figure out why a man who chased himself so fiercely is now different.

As for me, one year after I got married, she found out that her husband was cheating. They had no communication and finally divorced. The man said he didn't want to see his life decades later at a glance and said he didn't want to get married so early if she didn't force him. If he didn't want to get married at all, why did he finally promise me?

In the eyes of outsiders, each of them is very happy. At least not as painful as it is. Family harmony, car and house, love between husband and wife, food and clothing. But only the people in my circle of friends know what each of them has experienced or is experiencing.

A while ago, I stayed at a friend's house in Beijing. A female friend who had been single for a long time went out early and returned late. After work, she took a bath and changed clothes with fatigue. Then she sat on the sofa smoking and told me that she didn't want to find someone to end her single life. Sometimes it's very lonely, especially in such a big Beijing. When driving home all day and night, I don't have any running in my heart. The house was dark, and there was no one waiting in the room. When I came home, I also faced the empty wall. It seemed that I could hear the echo. Especially when you are wronged and in a bad mood, you don't even have a narrator. You can only curl yourself up in the quilt and cry. When it thunders and rains, hide in the toilet and brush the toilet. But when I think of those people who are married and have company around me, I don't have a good life. I found a foreigner-born hybrid baby. Because of their different living backgrounds, they can't find any topics except children now. Sister and brother fell in love. Because the boys didn't make much money and had good faces, the woman wanted to lie down on her birthday and invite her friends to eat, drink and have fun. To be afraid that the boys would hurt their self-esteem, she even avoided birthday gifts. In plain life, men play games when they go home, women want to sleep when they go home, and watch TV programs on weekends. There is nothing to communicate. She said, think about it this way, I should live alone.

Feelings are like a siege. The people outside are depressed, and the people inside may not be very happy. People will change, and so will feelings. Of course, there are happy moments. The so-called happy couple is that the happy moment is greater than all the unhappy moments. There are ups and downs in the world. No one knows what will happen tomorrow. On a calm day, after those ripples, they return to calm again.

In the torrent of time, everyone is so ordinary and insignificant. For you, a big event has happened. In the eyes of outsiders, it is just the news of the day. There is so much information every day that today's headlines will be forgotten tomorrow. So, you don't have to care what others will think of you. Others just burp after dinner.

From God's perspective, everything that happens in the world is a small thing. From the human perspective, in fact, in addition to life and death, all things in the world are small things. My divorced hair girl recently sent photos of her new boyfriend's proposal to her circle of friends. I was brushed with roses, heart-shaped candles, diamond rings, and hot kisses on the screen. And I only replied: good luck.

Author: Miss w Wu Tong, national second-class psychological consultant, former host, and model. Best-selling author, with "those absurd past events are called youth" and "fortunately, not together".