New world of obesity

Nobody can hear a scream in the vacuum of space, or so they say… Apparently, they can’t hear your screams if you’re fat on earth either. My experience of being in a new world, where I'm still me, but I'm fat.

I was once a tall beautiful blonde woman, with a slim waist, large E cup breasts. I had a young fresh face and perky body. Everything sat where it was meant to, I was hoping to hold it for a little longer, but nothing truly lasts, does it? Now in my early 30’s, yeah, I’ve put on some cushion, and things have started to go south. Please know I’m not promoting obesity just human decently.

What I have learnt from being a fat woman in society is this…

My opinion no longer matters.

Well, it does to me, but it doesn’t stand up in conversation.

I would almost compare it to being in a vacuum in space, no sound, just nothing.

If I speak up about gender equality, I’m told I’m “bitter”. I’m not looked at like a woman in my 30’s with a few years of experience. No one looks at the single mum who has experienced inequality in the home, who was abused, manipulated, and treated badly. They see the FAT… Just hear me out…

When I was young and looked the way society deemed an acceptable way to look, people would listen, I was somewhat heard in conversation…

Now I hear the words “you’re just bitter” over and over. You’re angry, you’re a feminist…… Rahhhh.

I can not speak on world issues, feminism, women’s issues or gender inequality.

I have spoken up about sexual harassment, that young girls face just to be told… I’m “jealous” of those pretty girls that get attention, or reminded that “no guy would ever want me”

They don’t think of the 11-year-old me who was coming into her body. Already tall and developed being followed by a car full of grown men, yelling obscene things. Telling me they would r*pe me.

They don’t see the young girl up to her early 20’s being harassed, followed, and the fear my mother had about me leaving the house, in my late teens.

They don’t see the young women who was assaulted…

No, they see the fat women, who could never “get any”. The fat women who must be a crazy cat lady, bitter that other, younger women hold that beauty standard that I MUST want...

The moment I got fat, my experiences didn’t matter, my life was made up, I’m just bitter… Being waiting for space to just suck me up, I guess it would, but I’m to fat. probably wouldn't hold the weight.

Not to mention when I was skinny, I was allowed to enjoy food. I was told It was “hot” that I could down a pizza and enjoyed drinking, because only attractive women can enjoy food. Don’t make the mistake of becoming fat, and still enjoying it. They will judge, they will comment, they will snark. So, if you get fat, please stick to salad, it's not “hot” for you to enjoy pizza anymore. They were happy to promote unhealthy habits when you were hot, but they do not promote obesity. I guess only aliens can eat pizza and drink alcohol and never gain the weight.

People suddenly care about my “health”. They didn’t care when I was in my late teens/ early twenties and being diagnosed with an autoimmune disorder, or talking about chronic fatigue, joint pain, and nausea. Now that I’m overweight society as a whole know why I feel like that… Because I’m fat, obviously. Even doctor’s- the solution is always “lose weight” Even though I wasn’t overweight when the medical issues all began.

It is well documented that fat women are discriminated against but that’s still denied by most. Let me tell you, as someone who used to be skinny and hot. I am judged daily.

During my learning experience of being in a bigger body, I have come to realize that the consequences of being overweight, only applies to women.

I see the question why is there not a body positivity movement for obese men? I can assure you it’s because men are not held to the same beauty standards and NOT judged as harshly. That’s just a simple fact...

I’m not saying a man has never been judged on weight, but there’s not an entire society standing behind that judgement. There’s no one telling him he’s bitter, jealous or a crazy cat man. or being disgusted that he exists on the beach, or in the community, or at work.. or anywhere

Another thing that has truly stuck out to me is that I'm not allowed to call myself "fat" as a descriptive word. It makes other people uncomfortable, especially other women, who are my friends. You see, the word fat isn't inherently bad, but its seen as unattractive etc. I've had girlfriends say to me "You're NOT fat, you're beautiful"... Even when I have explained to them, that I still think I'm beautiful, they get angry and offended for "being mean to myself".

Mate, I'm allowed to see myself as fat, especially when the entire world wants to remind me. and you might not want to say the words to my face, but you'll happily say it about another girl, behind her back.

So I guess I'll just sit here in silence, Just kidding..... I'll shake this beautiful fat butt all over this universe, and into the next.