Neighborhood Watches

“I heard you Samuel! I just don’t really know how you want me to rephrase the words that came out my mouth so that you understand me! What exactly do you want me to say?! Jasmine yelled over the water in the shower right before she used a little too much force to turn off the water and fling open the glass shower door. She grabbed her extra plush bath sheet from off of the marble dual vanity and wrapped it around her as she padded off to the adjoining bedroom where Sticks was sitting on the bed, elbows on his knees, his meticulously trimmed goat-tee draping over his pointer fingers. He licked his lips, sighed, and tried the very best he could to rephrase the question so that Jasmine didn’t bite his head off.

There were several times he thought about getting rid of Jasmine. Taking her on a little boat ride just like he did Dee. But every time he made up his mind to do it, she would magically say or do some shit that changed his mind. For the most part she was loyal as hell, but that mouth, gat damn. Never in his life did he think about rearranging the dental work in an individual the way he thought about knocking all of Jasmine’s teeth down her throat, but more often than not, poof, he’d change his mind. In a soft, calm tone he replied,

“All I was asking you, Jasmine, was why the security system was shut off?” He tilted his head towards the en suite as Jasmine was continuing her evening rituals which consisted of washing, exfoliating, conditioning and at that point any other “ing” she could think of to avoid talking to him.

She couldn’t stand his bravado. How everything was always done with dripping bombastic rhetoric or fanfare. It was annoying. In a whirl she passed by him and began dressing. She chose a bright yellow, Packer’s sweat suit and coordinated her undergarments and socks accordingly. Slamming the lotion on the vanity, she replied in staccato.

“Again. I…forgot…to turn…the system…back on…after I got the food delivery.”

She continued, “And considering most people don’t order four meals worth of food, then take off without eating it,” She said while tucking her mane under a green headscarf, “...it honestly never crossed my mind.”

Sticks leered at her and smiled a sinister smile, “Jazzy..”

“…Don’t call me that right now I’m pissed at you”

“Pissed at me? You had one job! One!” His voice got louder with each word. And with each word Jasmine’s anger was fueled.

“Oh, I have a JOB?!? NOW MOTHERFUCKER!?”

“Watch your mouth Jasmine!”

“Or what?!” When she spun around, Sticks swore her eyes which matched the color of her headscarf were glowing. Her mouth became wide and her wail was more than three octaves higher than her normal screaming voice.

“WHAT IN THE ENTIRE FUCK ARE YOU REALLY GONNA DO -STICKS!?” “I mean GAT DAMN! I DID NOT KNOW NOT ONLY WAS I SUPPOSED TO CLEAN UP BEHIND THEN KEEP ALL YOUR FUCKING SECRETS! BUT APPARENTLY I GOTTA DO YOUR FUCKIN JOB TOO. WHY DO I HAVE TO HOLD THIS WHOLE ENTIRE OPERATION DOWN!

“GAT DAMMIT, JAZ! WHY DO YOU HAVE TO TURN EVERYTHING INTO AN AGRUMENT?!”

“YOU’RE THE ONE WHO IS YELLING?!”

“BITCH YOU ARE REALLY TESTING MY MOTHER FUCKING PATIENCE UP IN THIS CAMP!!!

Sticks got off the bed and began charging towards Jasmine who in turn was not one to back down from a battle and was charging towards him.

All of the air was sucked out of the room as a body hit the floor of the upstairs bedroom.