Nascency

The first time I caught a glimpse of the house was when I was 14. The pond had frozen over before my eyes. It terrified me to say the least that I ran home through the woods back to the safety of my mother in this new to us house.

The front steps, leading up to the porch, creaked and sunk slightly under my weight.

"C'mon, Tabs," Kyle whispered, "the pond's not even frozen and Mrs. Mel isn't home. Swim across, ring the bell, run back."

I could only stare at the pond and remember how it had instantly frozen a year ago as if welcoming me. Loop told me of the rumors surrounding the house weeks later. If you were welcomed, you could cross the pond when it's frozen, but unwelcomed visitors found themselves plummeting down into the water, the ice beneath their feet simply disappearing. No matter how many times the pond was dragged, no body was ever found.

"You scared?" Loop dared.

I stole a glance in his direction and he smirked. World's worst best friend.

I had no choice. I'd show him and Kyle that I was different from the Libby Renard's of this town. I wasn't some prim lady waiting around for one of them to court me. Tabitha Riddle waited on no man.

The pond was no longer frozen. The Winter's cold was melting away. I wasn't scared of drowning. When I first saw this pond, I was scared of the change beckoning me across it. But change had found me anyway. I had no mother to run to for safety now. Her sickness took her from me. She didn't want me anymore. She threw me away for a needle, and that new to us house was an illusion. She stayed a week and then left me with these strangers.

Loop was my only light, but there he stood with his arm around Libby. Change is inevitable. Now I fear only stagnation -- being trapped on this point of my timeline.

"How do you know Mrs. Mel is gone?" I asked.

"We don't," Libby giggled.

I stood on the water's edge, looking down at it. I glanced around at the stone wall creating a circular barrier around the house, stopping at the pond. Leaves of three growing all over it. The only way to and from the house was this pond. I was going to knock on that door. I plastered a huge just-watch-me-smile on my face and turned back to look at Loop and Kyle. I lost my footing on the slippery rocks in that small turn. The water was freezing. My head slammed against the pond floor. The stagnant pond began to stir and a current carried me, not further down but toward the other side. The harder I tried to swim up toward the surface, the heavier my limbs felt. Besides the sharp chill of the water, it was peaceful. I saw the ice form over my head. I could see Loop above me, running past me, trying to break the ice. I could hear the echo of him drumming his fists against it.

Eventually the water's stillness overcame me. I could no longer hear his drumming. But then I could feel his warmth. I could feel his warm hand wrap around my upper arm, pulling me out of the water.

"Get the blankets," a voice yelled. Kyle.

"There's too much blood," another voice trailed off. A female voice. Not Libby. "Quick, bring her into the house."

I could feel Loop lift me, and then I was floating.

*~*~*

I woke in a coughing fit. My eyes stung. I sat up and shuffled away from the heat of the fire. I was much too close to it. I looked around the room to see Loop sitting up on a bed watching me, fire dancing in the reflection of his wide dark brown eyes.

"I thought you were going to bleed to death," his voice cracked as if it was the first time he had spoken in months, unsure if maybe I still could bleed to death. I moved my hand to the back of my head, feeling a large bandage over the throbbing area.

"And when I didn't, you thought I was going to freeze to death so you put me inside the fire?"

"Naturally," he gave me that stupid smirk. Hearing me speak brought back his confidence. "I figured if the fire didn't get you, maybe the smoke would."

"Remind me to never become your enemy. What am I wearing by the way?" I glanced down at the skirt of what seemed to be a very long night gown which had replaced my jeans and t-shirt.

"My Gamma's night gown," he clarified.

"Gamma? Am I at your Gamma's house? How far does she live from the pond?"

"She lives right next to the pond," he muttered.

"Loop, how's our girl doing?" Mrs. Mel said from the doorway. "Gave us quite a scare. I've never seen someone being welcomed to the house slip and fall in before the water could freeze over. Loop said you were clumsy, but that was quite a show. It was a good thing he was able to melt that ice hmmm?"

"Melt? Didn't he break it?" I could hear his drumming on the ice echo in my mind, memories flooding back to me. The same beat he was drumming when I first met him at his family's annual bonfire.

"Well sure, with that terrible Libby so near. Quite a performance, Loop." She handed me a cup of tea. "A little valerian root, darling, to help you sleep. I already spoke to your foster mother, and let her know you were helping me. She seemed lovely, dear. Had all sorts of words for me that one doesn't hear often in civilized conversations. But it's been a while since I've spoken to anyone outside the family, so maybe things have changed."

"No, Gamma, they haven't," Loop spat. He hated my foster mother more than anyone. I never knew why and he'd never say when I asked.

While sipping on the warm tea, I looked between Loop and his Gamma as they chattered on amongst themselves. No one knew what she looked like, he had said so many times before. Mrs. Mel never leaves her land. But there she was next to him. Behaving so familiar with her grandson. Someone knew what she looked like. As a matter of fact, anyone who had set eyes on Loop knew what Mrs. Mel looked like. The resemblance was there. Beyond the fact that her skin was much darker than his, they had the same dimples, the same long nose, the same coily hair, except hers was much longer and gray.

I had never met Loop's dad, but I suspected he must have also had those same features. Loop's small, ginger haired, hazelly-green eyed mother definitely didn't have any of the same features as this lady.

Their talking faded into the background of my thoughts, which slowed and eventually stopped all together. A peace came over me and I slept deeper than I had ever slept before.

*~*~*

Loop and his Gamma were sitting downstairs when I came down to the kitchen the next morning.

"Morning," Loop grumbled. There were dark circles around his eyes as if he hadn't slept the night before. He yawned and placed his head down on the table.

"Morning," I replied.

Gamma looked over at me from the stove, where she was frying an egg omelet, and grinned. "Good morning, Tabitha. Don't you look much better."

"Morning, um, Mrs. Mel?"

"Oh, just call me Gamma."

"Sure." I had never had a Gamma or a Grandma or an Abuela or anything like that. I mean, I guess I had an abuela somewhere. My mother had told me about how her mama wanted nothing to do with her when she became pregnant. With time I started to wonder whether it was that she had gotten pregnant or if it had more to do with my mother's sickness. Maybe she didn't know how to help her. I didn't either. Then again, it wasn't my job to know how. It was my mother's job to take care of me, not vice versa.

I reminded myself that none of that mattered. I was on my own. Gamma placed two plates on the table and motioned for me to take the chair next to Loop.

"You'll be staying home from school today. You look spent, sugar foot," she said putting a hand on Loop's shoulder.

"I feel it."

They both looked at me and in almost perfect unison asked, "How do you feel?"

"Surprisingly rested," I spluttered as I choked on my eggs. Here, Loop made sense. Next to Gamma was where he was supposed to be.

"That's the valerian root for you."

We were all startled by a knock on the door just then.

"Morning, Mrs. Mel," Kyle boomed.

"No need to shout, darling. Come on in." She walked over to the kitchen and made a second plate for Kyle as he came in and let the screen door slam behind him.

"Oh, good, you made the night," he beamed at me.

"How--? Wha-?" I started.

"How's Libby?" Loop interjected.

"Frazzled, but otherwise ok. She's gonna say a thing or two about your hair though, Tabs," Kyle replied.

I reached my hand up to the back side of my head and felt the bandage. "What about it?"

Loop and Gamma glanced back and forth between one another.

"Now, darling," she cautioned, "don't be alarmed. Bandages don't stick on hair.”

I furrowed my brows as my hands slipped through long strands of hair until I felt the familiar prickly feeling of a shaved head on the sides and a part of the back of my head. I stood in a panic looking for a bathroom. Kyle graciously pointed me to a full-length mirror in the foyer. For a moment, I stared at my hair. I pulled it up and let it go a few times. If I left it down, you couldn’t see the shaved bits as much.

“A mohawk? You gave me a mohawk?” I gasped.

“I mean, you look… edgy?” Kyle offered. “New you, new look?”

I yelled every bad word I had ever heard my foster mom use at them. The rage was overpowering my senses, everything became blurred. The room spun for a moment and then perfect clarity settled in.

“This is all your fault,” I turned on Loop. “Why would you do this to me? Why couldn’t you dare Libby? Shave off Libby’s hair? Why would you lie about your Gamma?”

“Libby was just to get your gall. A little defiance can make for some stubborn courage,” Loop offered as if this explanation would suffice for his lies and my shaved head. “Honestly, I feel bad for her. She looked more frightened than me and I was pretty much a panicked mute.”

Mouth hanging open, I looked at Gamma hoping to get an actual explanation that made sense.

“Don’t panic, dear. It will grow back. Let’s say you don’t go to school either,” she said as if not going to school was fair trade for not knowing what’s going on.

“Why me?” I insisted.

“Because no one will look for you,” Loop answered reluctantly.