My Charming Fools

A quiet afternoon. Sunshine pours in. Daisy rests heroically on the windowsill. Tusky and Rio conspire from behind the couch.

Tusky (whispering): "Alright, Rio. Phase One. Distraction. You roll around and you're cute. Cry a little bit. Humans love that stuff."

Rio: "I beg your pardon? I am not cute. I am mystical. I emanate sophistication. I do not 'roll.'"

Tusky: "Whatever. Spin theatrically. Just distract them."

Rio (preening): "I suppose I could treat them to one of my classic meows. You know, the pitiful soft one like I've seen specters?"

Tusky: "Good. I'll sneak into the kitchen and get the treats."

Daisy (on the windowsill, eyes closed): "You two are as sneaky as a vacuum in a yoga class."

Rio: "Mother, please. This is survival."

Daisy: "You were just fed."

Tusky: "Emotionally, we weren't."

Daisy: "You're emotionally full of nonsense."

Tusky takes flight. Rio strolls into the living room, flopping onto her side as though she is fainting on stage in a Shakespearean drama.

Rio (screaming): "Oh nooooo! I'm so hungryyyy. My soul is fading—fading"

The human looks over. Tusky strikes. Seconds count before a thud.

Tusky (from the kitchen): "Abort! The treat jar's in the air! I repeat, the jar is airborne!"

It smashes onto the floor. Stunned silence. And then the human screams...

Rio: "You fool! We instructed you to be subtle!"

Daisy (still unwinking): "And so concludes 'Operation Snack Attack.' Episode seventeen of 'Why I Pretend They're Not Mine.'"

The kittens dart under the couch. Daisy opens one eye at last.

Daisy (grinning wickedly): "Fools. But My charming fools."