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Mr. Ed You Cater

A tall tale straight from the horse's mouth

By Katherine D. GrahamPublished about a year ago 4 min read
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Watching Mr. Ed, the Talking Horse, on television as a child was a significant step in realizing my calling to learn how animals talk. The series was popular back in the day when were few televisions in homes and fewer programs to watch. I appreciated seeing human traits assigned to this smiling beast. Now hold your horses. Don't judge a horse by its saddle. This was a story of an educator. Mr. Ed presented a model of how deep interspecies relationships can cater to specific needs, and provide spiritual nourishment akin to that of a master teacher. Mr. Ed recognized, " It's bigger than both of us." As Marshal McLuhan says, "The medium is the message." A good horse is worth its fodder.

You, my dear reader, might question my horse sense, but then, a nod is as good as a wink to a blind horse. Get off your high horse. I was trained as an ethologist and know a little about the social interactions within and between species. Wild horses couldn’t drag me away from observing animal behaviour patterns. What is observed in isolated laboratory experiments or enclosures might be a trojan horse, that hides the true factors that occur in unmanipulated nature, but I don’t look a gift horse in the mouth. Animals have discrete means of transmitting information that circumvents gibberish and jabber.

Perhaps it unhorses the reader to believe that subtle vocalizations and actions, between humans and animals, can create a magnetic, soapy metamorphic connection, that transfers a profound tale without words. I do not want to put the horse before the cart. Communication signals mediate information that flows between individuals and are critical to mating and offspring survival, and define what many biologists call success.

Reproduction drives many bizarre behaviours. Bees communicate with each other, and the queen, in a dance and fluttery flurry of wing vibrations that controls reproductive behaviour. The male seven spined stickleback, quivers and turns while changing colour, to attract a female to spawn in a concealed nest. The breeding colouration, the zig zag dance and the construction of the nest are thought to be a combination of learned and inherited traits. Birds entice a mate with a bob and fluff, dance, strut, nest and courtship feeding to indicate their value as a partner.

Horse play is found as male dolphins head butt and tooth scratch each other and multiple mates in a reproductive season. They do not invest in offspring. They leave the mother to care for the young in her slipstream. Male humpback whales, driven by the relentless urge to mate, continually test their skills with rivals to establish dominance. They dive and breach while swarming a female. The female might gracefully dance and mirror a male in the deep, below the surface, then resurface in unison to breath but humpback social pods are fleeting. It is not a one-horse town. There are no long-term pair bonds. Females spend time together, often accompanied by a male escort who is a not the father, but a protector.

The behaviour of wild horses is a horse opera that supports the story of female mate selection and a matriarchy. Every horse thinks their pack is the heaviest. The stallion owns the herd and is the guardian and protector, ensuring reproductive viability. However, female behaviour directs the stallion. Mares roam in large bands with their foals. Mares have an active social life, battling for love, space position and power. They can join forces to ward off unwanted male attentions. Mares and stallions often form a pair bond with the stallions being the willing partner if accepted as a mate. The older alpha female leads the herd. She has the experience and attitude to establish behaviours that she expects to be obeyed. You can lead a horse to water but cannot make it drink. At maturity, colts leave to form bachelor parties and fillies disperse to other herds.

Excuse me, I must see a man about a horse. There is more to animal communication than gaining a reproductive advantage. Carved from ivory, 35000 years ago, the Vogelhead horse captures the magnificent arched back muscular potency and grace of a wild horse. Any horse doctor knows how the flare of the nostril, curl of the lip, quiver of a muscle, brief snort, stomp of a hoof, flick of a tail, or gaze of a horse can shake the soul as much as the three-beat gait of a canter. A single neigh can transform a horse into a cantor, that leads audience, in a moving prayerful meditation.

Interspecies communication might occur because animals learn to recognize conscious intentions that trigger motor function network connections creating predictive behaviours. I will climb on my hobby horse to explore an alternate explanation. This is a horse of a different colour. Genetic fragments determine an animal’s predisposition to receive physical sensory messages. They can be altered by subcellular influences. Recent studies reveal that gut microbiota can affect adaptive advantages and disadvantages in nature. Epigenetics suggests Quorum sensing, by bacteria in the mitochondria, causes spontaneous, simultaneous communication. The dark horse does not require direct contact and is not limited to one individual or species.

As the willing horse, who carries the load, I have presented a treatise about animal communication. Communication with animals is used in psychotherapy, that integrates perception, information and action to identify feedback mechanisms for self-regulation. Such automatic control systems are used in machines and living things, and are at the heart of cybernetics.

There is no need to beat a dead horse. Denying an animal can talk has gone the way of the horse and buggy. Any human who can reconnect their mind, body and heart, and accept a greater world, will hear the message that comes straight from the horse’s mouth.

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About the Creator

Katherine D. Graham

My stories are intended to teach facts, supported by science as we know it. Science often reflects myths. Both can help survival in an ever-changing world.

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