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Motel Blackouts

A Microfiction Story

By BellePublished about a month ago 2 min read
By same-jaguar453 on Prompt Hunt

I know she can taste the liquor on my tongue, but it doesn't stop her from pulling me by the arm into her motel room. She's laughing as she throws me forward and shuts the door behind her, a giggle. For a minute everything feels cute and endearing, but then I realize the entire room is blacked out. I can't see her at all, and the anxiety starts to roll in.

"Where'd you go?" I say, low, as if to entice her. She's small. No taller than five foot five, I would say. Not that her height was what mattered to me. I could have picked anyone out of that bar, but she was willing to give me the attention I wanted, and that's what I needed tonight. A distraction, from you.

But now I'm not sure where she is, and the silence is deafening. "Angela?" I ask the darkness, trying to wander towards the bed. I'm wondering if the name she gave me was real. The name I gave her wasn't. I wonder if she figured that out.

"Here," says a small voice coming from what I'm assuming is the bed. She giggles, beckoning. I grin, the anxiety starting to leave me, or maybe that's just the liquor. I find the edge of the bed, lift a knee to crawl up, and am hit with something fast, hard, to the chest.

Winded, I fall onto the floor, gasping. The pain radiates through my chest and I can feel it like an ache all through my ribs. Shit.

"What the fuck?" I sputter, coughing.

More laughing.

Two fists dig into the collar of my shirt, and before I can try to grab onto anything, I'm lifted to my feet. My shoes are fighting to stay on the ground, but the hot breath in my face tears me away from trying to keep my feet flat. It's the scent of a man, husky, sweaty. I hear a brief and triumphant hmph from the body holding me, before the girl says, almost cheers, "Lights out!"

The forehead of the man meets mine, and all I can think of is you as I fall unconscious...

Thank you so much for reading! This piece is small, and not very eventful, but I felt inspired to write some microfiction (which I am typically pretty terrible at) and am trying to experiment with low word counts. I'm going with my gut on this one and Just Writing, no matter how bad the writing might turn out to be. Aha...

But thank you for reading all the way through! Please comment (or subscribe for free!) if you like my work! I try to reciprocate comments as much as possible, and I really appreciate the support.

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PsychologicalthrillerShort StoryMysteryMicrofictionHorror

About the Creator


I host unofficial challenges and enjoy writing microfiction and poetry.

ALL EYES ON RAFAH. 35k+ murdered in Palestine. 80k+ injured. 25k orphaned. ~10k missing/under rubble.

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Comments (2)

  • Michelle Liewabout a month ago

    This happens all too often, actually. Good to shed light on it, Belle.

  • Rachel Deemingabout a month ago

    Well, I thought this was great. There was tension and I think that the girl's cry of "Light's out!" is suitably apt to round it all off. Nicely done.

BelleWritten by Belle

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