Morning is for Mourning

"I dunno. Maybe, " I choked down the tears in my eyes, "maybe it would be healthy to mourn it.

"I was in that well for so long," I crane my neck to the sky, arching away from the fire I've built. I'm still in so much pain. Honestly I couldn't even believe how much pain I was in, being trapped there.

I still can't believe it. "and you mean to tell me I'm finally free, and all I get is this wasteland full of snow, and boatloads of fear of being stuck again?"

It took me so LONG just to realize I needed to stop and rest. Or build this fire. I was just so busy taking the power away from a monster. He may have always been a Liar. A parasite. The one thing that was absolutely everything to me may have always been a lie and now I just want to tear something apart.

But honestly what I really need is to rest and thaw. My arms are cold. My feet were numb a long time ago. And only recently when I was sitting did I ask myself, "why are my feet hurting so much?"

Of course, you realize, I've been marching on this path for longer than I'd care to tell. I was fighting for the last shred of myself for longer than I realized.

A.G., I may not forgive you. But I could set this down-- or at least try to.

I found the roses I hid in a barn near the well. So many of them-- I put so much love into my idea of you. It hurts that you were all I ever wanted. And you only showed me what you were when I started to question my love for you, in the bottom of that well.

I didn’t want to turn back. I didn’t want to ever see this place again. But you took so much from me. And maybe I do have to lay it to rest.