Mirror Mirror on the Wall

I walked into a party like I was walking through my soul; I tipped my hat at the door, adjusted my bohemian shawl and pulled my shoulders back. I glanced around and caught a glimpse of me reflected back in an antique mirror on the wall. My image was serene, poised and confident, elegant sophisticated and mysterious as my lashes hid my fears.

Mirror mirror on the wall.

Who am I?

Who are you?

You seem so familiar.

Have we met somewhere before?

Mirror mirror on the wall.

Are you me?

Glimpsed through an open door into a place beyond in another time and place?

I picked up a glass of some sparkling wine using it to give me a veneer of somebody perfectly at ease. I crossed the room as if I was walking a plank towards a dubious end. I hadn’t wanted to come to this party as it sounded a trifle weird, but I promised under duress, my sweet and dearest friend.

I saw an eclectic assortment of people who I thought I didn’t know and yet as I wandered the room I understood that they were friends. I bumped into Anxiety and clasped her close to my breast as if I was scared she would leave me alone adrift in an ocean of fear. We spent some time catching up, remembering school days of old when we were the best of friends. I had let her go and only occasionally thought to ring and have a chat, however today we were back again, best buddies linking arms against the world. Then quite out of the blue Confidence touched me on the shoulder and I spun around and saw her dear, dear face reflected back at me. I touched her hair, her clothes and admired her poise and stunning red shoes. She laughed without a care in the world and heads turned and smiled at this most beautiful of friends.

It had been a rough week for me with Pressure dogging my heals as a report was due on my bosses desk by mid afternoon today, then Frustration turned up as the printer packed it bags and said goodbye and I felt Exhaustion lurking behind my eyes.

I hadn’t wanted to come, I would rather have stayed at home with Sad and Sorry to keep me company however now that I was here I started to enjoy this party as I meandered through. I past by Confusion, Panic, and Worry and didn’t stop to hug and kiss. It was enough to touch glances and I had seen enough of Worry recently and she knew that was enough.

I felt Envy sidle up to me as I glanced around though she didn’t stay long and Jealousy who was usually by her side wasn’t to be seen. Amidst the party noise I danced with joy and Happiness until I felt Unease bump against me and then he was quickly gone into the crowd before I could smile and say hello. He was just a casual friend who never stayed in one place long.

I danced with Confidence when she twirled past and quickly found my rhythm with Carefree who was the best of partners with music flowing through his genes and laughter spilling from his heart.

I sat down to rest awhile and once again felt Unease slid by so quickly I wasn’t able to define his intent. AS I relaxed into my seat I glimpsed a mop of bright red hair and I felt my heart begin to lurch and pound as I quickly got up, almost falling in my hurry to escape the attention of this loud and uncouth…so passionate of friends!

I escaped outside onto the deck; into the cool and calm dark night…I looked at the stars up high with Peace on my left and pretty delightful Joy to my right. She hugged me tight as a loving embrace and the world settled into place and we all felt Wonder join us as we looked at the immensity of the universe.

Then a ripple in the air disturbed Peace and she left in such a hurry. I felt a flush rise up to colour my face red as Joy and Wonder also fled leaving me alone with Unease.

I ran to seek refuge in the ladies bathroom at the foot of the spiral stairs. I swept cool and running water over my face and neck to cool the inflammation that had risen in my breast. Grief came in and touched me as lightly as a whisper, so different from that time 10 years ago when she stalked my every waking hour.

This party with its abundance of friends was creating a bit of turmoil in my heart. I was feeling a trifle sore and battered from all the memories and feelings being shaken up and stirred about in my encounters this night.

These friends some of whom I had forgotten had shown me feelings I would never have felt, and so I am so very grateful for their presence in my life and I realise that I love them, every one, for they have been and some still are a part of me in this amazing kaleidoscope of life.

I felt Empowered by my side as Love and Gratitude joined us as I walked out into the festive zone, until I saw Anger lurking there, red hair blazing, as if waiting to pounce, to shake me up and toss me into the arms of Chaos and Fear. I tried to ignore him and turned my back, pretending he wasn’t here however his passionate energy wove out to draw me into a strong embrace.

Empowered held on my arm so firm and together with Love took my hands and helped me face my greatest fears. They helped, through quiet conversation, to understand that Anger was also a friend and that to suppress this part of me was to dishonour all that I am.

It wasn’t easy to welcome Anger into my heart, to say thank you for being there. I had judged this part of me to be not nice enough to allow into the light, and so suppressed him deep within letting pain and illness rise up as I pushed this part of me so deep. Today with help of all my friends I see that every part of me is precious and that when I acknowledge, instead of hiding or suppressing these gifted parts of me all life flows and spirals magically.

This party has given me so much more than I first thought possible, and yet as exhausted as I felt this day I now feel so energised and invigorated as I release so many burdens of judgment I carried slip away and the relief and ease of living is as if I am light, floating in a sea of possibilities.