Memories

I’d count up the days. It had been some time now and although the memories had lingered, I couldn’t remember the specific day she was taken away. The pamphlet said the promised land would be something to behold. We arrived hand in hand, onlooking the glorious nature of our new landscape. Except I lost her hand as we were separated at the gates. I stood strong, demanding answers, but the shadows in Kevlar had nothing to say to me. They just poked deeply into my kidney, moving me back in line.

Once through, I noticed our new garden was full of decay. I scoured the land but could not see her. I pleaded for my wife, and asked when we’d be reacquainted. But the shadows in armor still had no words as they led me to a room filled with desks. It led to another full of cots. I was going to need something to hold onto. I created a heart-shaped locket. But without materials, I had to create it in my prefrontal cortex. I put her there, our memories and previous life, away from the chaos of our new world.

No one was in the institution for the same amount of time. One brute came in and left the next day. When I’d leave, there would still be men from before I’d arrived. I figured that was it. I didn’t agree with the rules, but I had no choice in the say. My only concern was to find my other half. As I left, I finally gained answers from a man in a lab coat. After my evaluation, I asked about my other half. “She hasn’t finished her programming,” he stated, handing me a park map, pointing where my residence was.

I walked along the path towards my new house, each step more haunting. I’d convinced her to go down this path. When the States had been torn apart, she wanted to run north, to Canada. The land of the free. I told her they were only free, because it was too damn cold up there. They just ate Maple Syrup anyways. Instead, she followed me on the that big boat. Now I must fix my own undoing.

I reached my house which was a tiny straw hut. I stopped in the doorway to soak in my humble abode. A uniform was already hanging by the door on a hook. “Janitor” the tag read. I’d been an accredited scientist on the other side of the ocean which meant very little. They needed more people to clean up around here. I removed the tag, which informed me that I started first thing in the morning.

I sat down at the kitchen table. At least they’d given me some entertainment in the form of a Television, I thought. Until I found out they only had three channels. A 24-hour Eden news channel, a 24-hour segment on the rules of Eden, and a French channel. Turning the television off, I studied the bookshelf next to it. It wasn’t much better. A bunch of how-to’s. How to be a good janitor in Eden. How to use what smart functions of the hut were available to you. The sun was growing calmer as I grew hungry.

I looked in a book called “Your First Days in Eden” and flipped to a section about food. You eat based on your given worth. The book told me. I wasn’t sure what that meant. Then I heard a ding. I turned around and a little token had come down a plastic shoot. I continued reading to find it was the currency of Eden. I received a plastic copper token, the lowest form of currency. It would get me by until they figured out my worth. The tokens would come at breakfast, lunch, and dinner. I looked at the park map, and figured out where the food line was.

It was long. One had looked shorter than the other, but that wasn’t the case. It just moved slower. It took half an hour to reach the front of the line. I looked at the stands to see what I had to choose from. It was pretty standard; No Name, Lays, Old Dutch, Pringles. Lays were my favourite by far. I felt like pizza, a comfort food for my first day. When the chip corporations had overtaken the food industry, Lays was quick to buy up the Pizza Hut trademark. I wanted Lays Pizza Hut Pepperoni Chips for dinner.

But that’s not what my copper coin could afford. I hadn’t shown my worth around here yet. No Name was all a copper coin could afford. They mostly just made terrible knockoffs of the big brands. It had come down to supply and demand. The demand for chips was so high, that the supply of all the other foods diminished. Chip companies started offering “healthy alternatives”. If they said it was a pea, it must have been. That was how the food industry was taken over by simulated flavours.

I just opted for No Name Regular chips. I handed the server my copper coin and was about to leave with my bag of chips but then he said, “Your change?”. Confused, I looked back as he cut the coin in half using a machine. The other half fell into a small smelter. I hadn’t noticed before, but he appeared to be pressing new coins at his booth.

“Thanks?” I said going home to eat supper, richer than I thought. I continued reading the book. Regular chips were cheaper than any other kind. It didn’t cost anything to simulate salt. A janitor wasn’t one of the higher paying jobs, I figured that much. I decided that like on the outside, where I’d taken university and eaten mostly No Name Raman Noodle chips, I’d eat only regular chips and save the extra coin.

Most things in the house were automatic. I didn’t even have control over the blinds which adjusted themselves throughout the day. I sat there reading my book when I heard, “Good night,” and all the lights went out. I heard a latch close. I could only make out a digital display on the wall, “9:00”. I moved around the small hut, but couldn’t find a switch. After 15 minutes, the recorded voice came back on, “It’s time for bed. See yourself there, and have a good night,” What were they going to do? I thought.

I sat at the table and contemplated. But it wasn’t much longer before I was disturbed. The recorded voice started repeating to go to bed and have a good night. It increased in frequency and annoyance and wouldn’t end until I found my bed and laid in it.

***

We’d come in the summer, but now the leaves were falling. I tried not to grow concerned, thinking about the time and distance that had spread between my love and I. I tried not to lose hope, and gained a bit in the form of information. Women were taught in the classroom for much longer than the males. That alleviated the stress that something more awful had happened to her.

I’d put in the work and had become head janitor. I kept my nose clean and thoughts to myself. Ideas were powerful in a place like this. I couldn’t be lynched for an idea before I found her. My hut contained floorboards and I didn’t want to cause suspicions about the amount of currency I was holding onto. I started hiding it under the floor. While I’d gotten a significant raise, up to platinum coins, I still ate No Name Regular Chips at a half copper piece a bag. My title also came with a later bedtime, until 11.

I did grow worried though, at what might really happen in those classrooms. But even Eden wasn’t susceptible to the spread of corruption. I’d been hearing about an underground railroad. They could get people out of the classroom and into Eden. They could even get you from the front gate, to a residence. It didn’t come without it’s risks though, and their most recent attempt had ended in a mess I cleaned up the next day.

I approached The Snake but he didn’t want anything to do with a janitor. How could I be trusted? I pleaded with him and said I’d pay double what the going rate was. He perked up from his armchair. His only stipulation was that I never contacted him again. I’d pay, resume life, and wait. I agreed.

***

Now the trees had grown barren and a crisp tingle was in the air. Winter was approaching. I thought about confronting The Snake, a couple months having gone by and hearing nothing. But I also hadn’t heard about the Underground Railroad on the news which I’d started watching just to keep tabs. When the snow began to fall, so did my hopes.

Winter turned out to be harder, not easier for work. I’d have a team of shovelers, that were followed by a team of scrappers. Everything stuck to the snow. When it still managed to soak into the pavement, I’d have a cleaner crew scrub the street clean. The cold just made everything stay, even the stench.

I’d light a candle on the front of my hut each night to let her know she was always welcome. I knew that we weren’t having festive holidays in Eden. I still prayed to get her back before an old-world tradition. One night in December, I heard a knock on the door. I never received them after 6, unless it was official Eden business, they needed me to clean up. The digital face on the wall read “10:00” and it was beyond dark out. A spark ignited as I rushed to the door. I opened it, but there was no one standing before me. I looped up into the night, looking for scouring bodies.

I heard a noise from below me and looked down. There she lay wrapped up in the blanket. She was awake, but unmoved. I crouched down, “Amirah?” I said, gently brushing her cheek. Yet, she still remained unmoved. She looked at me, but I couldn’t tell if she even recognized me. I looked around again, but there was no rustling of bushes as I brought her inside.

I called in sick the next day. They would usually send a squad to check up on anyone who called in sick. But since I had my position and kept a clean nose, they didn’t question my brief leave of absence.

I hadn’t been allowed to move, but they did make a backyard for me to attend to with my position. I’d guide her back there in the mornings, and we’d sit on a bench I’d built. I wasn’t sure that she could hear me, but I’d sit there and talk to her about anything. I’d apologize for having brought her here. For being controlling and self absorbed. It was taxing on my being seeing her in this state. Unknowing how to proceed.

One day I sat there and couldn’t think of anything more to say. Instead, I wept. I took her hand as it lay limp in mine. “I still have something that belongs to you, Amirah,” I said, digging deep into my prefrontal cortex, still sobbing, “I’d made it when we were separated,” I found the heart-shaped locket I’d stored our memories in.

I told her how we’d met on a bench quite like this. About all the strength she’d given me to hold onto. To find her in Eden and now I was giving it back to her. The conservation of energy. I had to return that energy to the system it had come from. They might have made her forget who she was. But I’d help her remember. Before my tears could rage on, I felt a small sign. Her hand now grabbed onto mine.