Meet Daniel Zindane

Oh, it’s my pleasure. You saved my kids’ lives. I can deny you nothing. Certainly not an interview. Besides, if I ever get eaten, torn to pieces, or cooked in a lava pit, it will be a comfort knowing there’s some sort of record of our time here. Maybe it would make its way home like the proverbial message in a bottle.

My name is Daniel Zindane. I am an archaeologist. That means I study the past, ancient humans and ancient civilizations. I have always believed knowing where we come from is critical to our development. Since it’s given me a fulfilling career, a wonderful wife, and two awesome kids, I think it was the right decision. 

Thank you Sandor, this juice is delicious. I know Jessica had already had a session with you. She invited me to listen to hers before I began. Would you mind? Thanks, it will be good to know where she left off. 

How come I only hear her voice? It sounds a little odd. Your recording crystal only records the voice it's attuned to? So anyone listening to this has to figure out what you said? I am starting to agree with my daughter, Sandor, sometimes you do things just to annoy people.

So, Yes. That’s pretty much what happened. My wife went missing, and I went looking. I didn’t want my kids to know I was going, like she said, so I lied to them about where I was going. I’m not very good at it. I wasn’t surprised they followed me, but it surprised me they could afford it. I would probably be worried about my credit card bill, but if we ever get home, I have a feeling the bank will already repossess everything. 

Sorry, I got sidetracked. Well, now you know where Jessica gets it from. My kids and I got trapped here while searching for my wife, Tanya. I know Jessica talked a little about the events leading up to this, and I’ll just let that stand. I would prefer to not speak about our lives on Earth right now. It’s easier to stay focused here if I don’t think about it. 

That’s how I spent our first night here. Staring up at the sky, thinking about home, and worrying about Tanya. I have to believe she’s here. My wife vanished without a trace. I hope that means it’s because she wound up here. Although it eats at me every day, wondering if she’s back on Earth and needs me, or a mere few miles away and I’ve walked by her a dozen times without seeing.

I know that makes little sense. It doesn’t have to make sense. Emotions can hold too much influence over our thoughts. All humans have to struggle with it. All of us. I know you have more emotions than you like to let on, Mr. “Spock with scales.” and I envy your self-control. It is easier when I try to set an example for the kids, but when I was alone, I struggled at first.  

Too many close calls changed that. Surviving another day meant I was doing a good job, or at least doing the best job I could. It meant we could press forward, and we would find our answers. 

Not at first, of course. We had to spend the first few days exploring the immediate surroundings and figuring out the food situation. Between us, Jessica and I had brought plenty of food for an extended trip, but that wouldn’t last if we were here for the long term. Fortunately, fruits and vegetables seemed plentiful, even if they were huge. There was evidence of small mammals around too, so we would have to brush up on our hunting and trapping. 

I did some field work before this, and I could take care of myself, but gathering food was never an issue. We always brought food with us. I knew how to fish, but if there were T-Rex’s running around, I definitely didn’t want to find out what was in the river. 

Looking back, those first few days were like a vacation. We didn’t see the T-Rex and could almost pretend it was a camping trip. Almost. It helped keep spirits up at least. I thought Timothy would have the hardest time; he was much more academic than physical. I was mistaken. He would tire from activity quickly, but recover just as quickly. He seemed to act like someone had lifted a weight off of his shoulders.

I realized it was the same for Jessica, and even for me. Despite the stress of our situation, and it was bizarrely terrifying, make no mistake, the weight of our world had been lifted from our shoulders. It’s hard to describe, our technology made communication fast, and so our lives became fast. We carried devices that gave us constant access to the world, and the world constant access to us. I didn’t realize how heavy it was until it was forcibly taken off of my shoulders.

I was soon confident we could live off of the land and keep most of our supplies for emergencies. We had some weapons for defense, at least against non-Trex sized threats. The knives were fine, but guns and rifles had limited ammunition. They were also valuable. If we ever had to drop everything and run, I didn’t want to lose them. So I set Timothy to making short spears with stones we found lying around, while Jessica and I cut some walking staffs. Wait. Staves. Walking staves.  

After that, we discussed how best to proceed. We needed to explore the area before we could search for Tanya or find a way home. It appeared we were in a large valley. From the top of our hill, we could make out parts of the river, but not much else, even with binoculars. In the distance, I saw flying shapes; I didn’t wonder what they were. With my luck, I would find out soon enough. The river was where we would go first.

I felt a strange sense of foreboding as I rejoined the kids. I told them to wait while I went there first to make sure it was clear. Jessica was loud in her objections. I told her I knew I was being paranoid, but I wanted reassurance there would be no surprises when we all got there.

I made my way to the river down the same path we’d used before. At least the immediate area seemed safe. That didn’t stop me from trying to move quietly, though. I did not want to take chances. Fortunately, it was an uneventful walk to the river. Even more fortunately, I didn’t see any dinosaurs. 

Before heading back, I wanted to check on the boats. We would need them soon, and I wanted to make sure they were in a safe place. I had no clue when I beached them. I just made sure they were out of sight. We would need them again.

It wasn’t far to the boats. As I approached the river, I saw them. They looked undisturbed, but there was a large mound between them that wasn’t there the day before. The mound was about 6 feet high, and red with yellow spots on the side. As I got closer, I noticed the mound looked strange; it looked like it was covered in feathers.

Suddenly, the mound moved, and I froze. The top shifted and I could see its head looking around. The mound stood up, rising to over 9 feet tall, and shuffled its talon as it turned to face me. It was a giant macaw. It spread its wings; they were ginormous, and at the time I would’ve sworn it had a 6 mile wingspan as that giant hooked beak opened and it screeched at me. 

“Holy Shit,” I squeaked, turned, and ran.

There was another screech and the sound of wings flapping behind me. I felt it approach before it slammed into me, knocking me to the ground. The massive macaw settled to the ground as I got up, but it knocked me over again with its head. What the goddamned hell? Was it playing with its food? 

The asshole macaw let me get up. LET ME. And I knew it. It just looked at me for a moment, waiting for me to run. Shit. I didn’t have a choice. So I ran right at it. It surprised the bird, and it missed wildly as it tried to bite me. I didn’t attack, I just ran past it, hoping I could buy a few seconds. 

I didn’t get far before it knocked me to the ground again. Then I felt talons on my waist, grabbing me by my clothes. The macaw tried to lift me into the air, screaming and flailing my limbs madly, trying to get it to let me go. I don’t mind telling you; I was scared out of my mind. 

I never got to find out if I would have succeeded. I saw a shadow covering us that grew quickly. Suddenly I was jerked to the side and falling. I hit the ground hard and rolled a few times. I came to a stop and looked up. A pterodactyl was flying above me, the macaw struggling in its giant beak. Suddenly, that macaw didn’t look very big.

I didn’t hang around to watch the show. I ran, well, staggered quickly to the trees. I didn’t think the pterodactyl would bother with me, but I didn’t want to take any chances. I only took a few steps before I felt an enormous pressure in my bladder. To be honest, it shocked me I hadn’t wet myself during the whole thing, but I could tell if I didn’t go now that was exactly what was about to happen.

As I undid my pants, I felt them slide down quickly from a weight on my belt. The weight of the gun I had brought with me. For a moment, I was so embarrassed I forgot I was standing in the jungle with my wang hanging out. I forgot I had the damned thing. I don’t know if it would have made a difference, and I’ll never know because I forgot!

The enormity of my stupidity stretched out before me. What the hell was I thinking? We were only here because I went looking for my missing wife in a place I never should have gone to in the first place. My kids were only here because they inherited some of my stupid genes and followed. How was I going to protect them or find her if I couldn’t even handle basic self-defense? Never again, I swore to myself, never again.

The pain returned, forcing me back to reality, and I relieved myself. There is one thing in life better than sex, let me tell you, and pissing enough to fill an Olympic sized pool is that one thing. Oh, don’t give me that look. I don’t know what that look is, but those big unblinking black eyes of yours are creeping me the fuck out. Come to think of it, let’s never play this around the kids. 

Well, I never told them about it. I straightened myself up as best as I could and when I got back to the cave; I tried to pretend nothing happened. I warned them to watch the skies, of course, and that I saw the pterodactyl and the giant macaw in all its red and yellow glory.

Timothy wondered aloud if there was a 30 foot tall pirate wandering around looking for his parrot.

Jessica joked we could send him after the T-Rex.

I told them we could look tomorrow. My tired ass was taking a nap.