Meditations On Growing Old
No game, no life.
Meditations on growing old.
You, dear reader: of course
*We open with you trekking through the forest of wanderlust, approaching a lare cave that seems to have a temple carved into it. You stand before the entrance, unfurl the scroll you’ve been carrying, hold it up and begin to chant. Suddenly the door to the large cave like structure opens as you enter. You see an old man at his desk who turns to greet you warmly.*
“Hello there, my name is Mizukami Murakami, I assume you’ve come to seek my wisdom yes? That’s the only reason townsfolk come out to these parts any more.”
*You introduce yourself, stating that you’re a traveler searching for magical items.”
“Majika? You aim to seek out a Djin? Kami? Zoroaster? Ha, do you even know what you desire from such beings? Or the toll these creatures demand of those who exist in our domain?”
*You explain to the old man that you’ve spent the last 15 years of your life studying the arcane world. That your uncle introduced you to the librarian that set you on this path. That you’ve endlessly poured over thousands of tomes, even naming some that cause the elder’s face to reflect his astonishment and apparent respect, in that time. Yet that your power is still minimal at best.*
“Ah I see young one, you are clearly curious and well learned about this subject. I can see your devotion and admire it. Once was I one such as you. Thus, with that I shall teach you. If magical power is what you seek I shall gift you with my first spell tome.”
*Your face lights up in shock as it seems the story is true. You’d read about this specific man and this specific cave in “La Morava Del Turis” an ancient spell book that claims to draw influence from a spell tome similar to the one Murakami mentioned. There was only one thing that was odd. La Morava mentioned a one Yoko Rukia who taught a Morikami, but nothing of Mizukami.*
“You seem excited and yet puzzled, it’s written so clearly on your face. Let me guess, hmm ahh yes this must be of Rukia’s doing, no? Another test?”
*Now you’re sure it’s all true, and begin to lose your composure.”
‘No NOT AT ALL I mean ye- I read about you, bu- but you actually exist?’
*The old man breaks out into a deep laughter that brightens the room so effortlessly it puts you both at ease*
“I’ll let you be the judge of that. Here take this, go back to the town and read this by candlelight before bed. You do not have to finish it all in one night, and you must not read it before. Do you understand?”
‘I do, but why go back? I’ve found you through years of research. Traveled to the imperial city to study in their library and was even offered a position as the head librarian after years of studying and teaching there daily. I came back to be your student.’
“Precisely why I demand you do as I ask. Despite my ability I do have my own limitations and boundaries for a reason. I know enough to know that you are earnest and have been truthful with me. Please do not mistake, I am not sending you away. There is something that you’ll need to see for thyneself. Lest you be stuck in the world you live in currently.”
*You’re torn, you’d assured everyone in town that you would find the great wizard of legend. That you’d become his or her student, and that you’d become a mage unlike any other, and now? How could you go back empty handed?*
‘But I only just arrived’
“And that my dear pupil is why you must go back, I already know you and your story Yoko instructed me to await your arrival three years ago to the day. You may return in exactly one year, but you must first master this tome. This is an alignment spell. You will be granted access to my powers and will hear the whispers of the ancients. The spirits who crafted this world.
Let me be the first to tell you, this place, this world is not as you may believe. There is technology beyond your current comprehension out there. The imperial government wishes to keep this knowledge hidden. However the longer it remains such the more dangerous it becomes. Leaving such things inert only allows for the capability and capacity for destruction to multiply by every waking moment.”
‘I understand, what should I call you then? Teacher, headmaster, master, lord?’
“No need for such formality, Mizumura will suffice. It shall avoid calling attention to myself for the uninitiated. The power that exists here is cataclysmic in the hands or eye of the untrained. Go now, I will you safe passage and a prompt return home with a welcome fit for a king. However remember to mention nothing of our encounter, and if queried of your new acquisition of the tome you can explain that you found it in a cottage.”
‘Yes Mizumura, thank you. I shall study intently, and mention nothing of you.’
*You venture off back into the forest of wanderlust.*
‘It shall only be a day or so before I reach Renmai again. I would do well to stop and make camp by sunfall.’
*As you continue through the forest there seems to be less danger, the birds chirp harmoniously and the fauna is so alive and at peace.*
‘I feel wonderful, this place evokes an aura unlike ever before.’
*Trekking along you notice that the greenery is extraordinarily lush and thick. That the colors are more vibrant, and even the sky glows with an iridescent hue given life by the warm rays of the sun, cool crisp breeze from the wind, and gentle mist from the water. You walk until you hit the halfway point between the cave and home.*
‘I’ll make my camp here, this is just as good a spot as any other here. I’m lucky to have gone fishing on my way up the first time and the salt I bought from Jorge is sure to make the fish quite delicious.’
*You gather firewood, spark the flame using a convection spell you learned from combining the teachings of an imperial scroll and a tome from Renmai’s library. Cook the fish, pray, and eat.*
‘To think, all of this work will finally pay off, I can hardly wait.’
*Suddenly, you feel an ethereal chord being strum. You are being drawn to the tome, called by it without knowing why.*
‘I must read this tome, it can unlock the mysteries I seek to unravel. What if I’m to be fallen upon by some unknown danger? Or injured with no assistance and miles to go until I return home?’
*Hearing Mizumura’s words in your mind you decide to pull out your map to discern where you are relative to the cave and Renmai. In an effort to avoid incurring the ire of your teacher prior to receiving your first lesson.*
*Three days later, in Jorge’s pub housed in central Renmai*
Jake: I mean what did you expect? Nobody goes out there anymore, the odds of anyone being out there were beyond slim.
“I’m not sure, I was hoping I guess, hoping for something more. Now I’m more confused than ever.”
Jorge: Well if nothing else, you’ve definitely got a new glow to you!
“What do you mean Jorge?”
Jorge: before you left, you seemed troubled and conflicted. Like something was tugging at your heart. Yet ironically you now seem happier, if a bit lost.
Jake: She’s right, you are definitely more talkative since you’ve gotten back. Before conversation from you was virtually non existent if it wasn’t about your research. You haven’t even mentioned a single thing you’ve studied since you’ve gotten back!
“There’s a few reasons for it, suffice it to say that I’ve realized that I can only go so far on my own. Without a teacher I’m almost back to square one.”
*The pub’s door swings open revealing an middle aged adventureur by the name of Daniel Macintosh*
Jorge: Danny! How’s my favorite drinking buddy?
Daniel: Tired as ever, Wanderlust has had a string of disappearances that started yesterday. Not just from our town either, apparently people from as far as Eriga have been experiencing it.
Jake: Seriously? Didn’t you just get back from there?
*Jake says, looking at you with worry and concern*
“Yeah I did, I got back 2 days ago. I didn’t see anyone while I was out there though.”
Daniel: Of that I’m almost certain, this all happened last night a few hours before midnight.
Jorge: Hiking or even camping is one thing, but various people from multiple towns? That’s eerie, especially for being so coordinated.
Daniel: Exactly, if they’d planned it I think some one would have known. Word travels fast.
Jake: so what do you think happened Danny?
Daniel: Not sure, we’re going to organize a search party and join up with the other groups from the towns who are experiencing this weirdness as well. Jorgey dear could ya bring me some ale?
Jorge: Before you’re due out there to search?
Daniel: Ya know me lass, I’ll have sobered up before ya start to pour the next one haha
*Jorge rolls her eyes walks over to the shelf, fetching a large bottle and pours Daniel a tall mug of Apple cider Ale sliding it down the counter to him.*
Jorge: should I bill you now or add it to your spectacular tab?
Daniel: Aye, about that. Here ya go!
*Daniel tosses a huge bag full of coins onto the counter*
Jorge: Wow what’s all this?
Daniel: 100 gold n’ 400 silver pieces love.
Jorge: But Danny, you know we have agreement. You only need to pay 50 silver a month…
Daniel: Aye, and I drink 3 times the amount every month. Doing the math in me head lass that’s putting you at one hell of a loss.
Jorge: That’s not my point you old lard and you know it.
Daniel: Mhm that’s why I’m giving it to ya now. I have something set up for you should things go sideways on the search.
*Jake and I watch as the longstanding town mystery of “will they, won’t they?” Seemed to be all but solved. It felt as though those two were the only ones in the room as the gravity of Daniel’s words set in*
“Don’t tell me you’re expecting trouble out there Dan, I think I speak for all of us when I say that you’re a fixture here at the pub.”
Daniel: Thank ya kindly, aye, I’m expecting more than just trouble. I’m expecting a witch.
Jake: A witch? I thought they were fairytale’s.
Daniel: Aye n’ yet ya sit next to a wizard without a second thought?
*The room fell silent as we all sat there in complete shock. Jake and Jorge seemed to be dumbfounded at such a revelation, and I, left wondering how Dan knew. Did he think I was connected? Does he know about the cave?*
Daniel: Relax kid, there’s actually protocol for this typa thing. Ya haven’t done anything wrong, it’s who ya are. Understand?
“I- I do, I’m just wondering how you knew? And for how long?”
Daniel: Story for another time, for now you have homework do ya not?
Daniel: Good, ya best ta be getting on it, there will be hell ta pay if ya aren’t prepared proper.
*With that Dan finished his ale, kissed Jorge on the cheek, hugged Jake & I and left to head to the Emberhall, the largest guild in Renmai’s headquarters.
I told Jorge & Jake I had to go after Dan left, they nodded in unison said that they completely understood and wished me luck. I stepped out of the pub at dusk and by nightfall I had begun to read the tome I was given by Mizumura once more, this would be my third time.*
“Les Lune De Reconnaître, this time reading that flows a lot smoother. Here we go”
*I thought of the tome in terms of a story at first, hence my frustration. I had yet to realize that tonight, my life would change forever…
I decided that any words that eluded my understanding I would cross out and underline to ask Murakami about when I returned. That would ensure that if I began casting unknowingly I could nullify any unanticipated effects to a certain degree.*
There is a tiredness that comes with age.
As though if with every passing year another floor is generated in this unending unyielding ARVRMMO that we call life. Tailored specifically to whatever new flash in the pan innovation comes along to woo us for a month or two. In this digital age the one thing everyone seems to be running from is our own mortality.
*so far so good*
It is as though everyone’s gotten hooked on binging self help audiobooks and ruminating on how we live in the so called “end of days.” “Not me though” I hear you, who sees themselves as alternative, the deviant, the maverick say.
*And you’re exactly right*
“I choose my own experience, my reality, I decide how I live, even if I have no control over my situation, I control myself.”
I hear you say confidently, feeling secure knowing that despite whatever minor or even catastrophic event comes your way, you’d face it, admirably and somehow defeat it.
Yet, in this view you are still mistaken.
In fact, so gravely mistaken that it seems you’ve confused Plato for Diogenes. You see, it is your desire for control over your own self that betrays you. You are your own worst enemy, if only for believing that you’re a product of your decisions alone.
In this age where the focus on solely being positive is plastered everywhere, with our dreams being repackaged to us we are none but one.
The consciousness that we know to only exist in texts such as the Akashic Records has reared it’s head in such an illusory way that many will never see it. The Teslas, Fords, Vanderbilts, and other innovative minds that will shape the world are already alive and with us today.
*What does he mean? It seems like he’s referring to a world that doesn’t even exist. These aren’t real people…are they?*
Women, men, and children that will be responsible for completely reorienting the way the mind is understood & interacted with. I personally believe the most important issue that I imagine is at the forefront of public concern is that of adequately commodifying one’s time. As time is the most valuable commodity one has available.
However I believe that people see this fact in the wrong way. That is to say that I believe we are forgetting in our calculations on how best to utilize our time, the fact that time, is not linear.
*At this point I couldn’t tell if this was a joke at my expense or if Mizumura was speaking on a world that truly existed in this domain.*
That is to say, in our minds time does not appear to be a straight line. In our waking experience, barring states of deep intoxication or other perceptual impairment, it seems to be so. However we must bear in mind that consciousness is only part of the equation. I’ve pondered this an endless number of times.
In the time from which I hail we couldn’t even see how the few advances we’d achieved were as nothing in the face of 20 years in the future. It was ‘92 the last time I was in my own time. I’d jumped 10 years foreword the first time and it was a near unrecognizable world. Apparently my home had come under attack a year prior. This started a massive war it seemed as though no one was prepared for.
Then ten years further again after spending a few months in ‘02. From what I’d come to learn this year was slated to be the last one of humanity. I found it fitting then that their technology was miles ahead of what I could imagine. I was but a fresh 18 years old when I’d arrived in 2012. Thanks to the technology of thus year I was able to find family and friends of mine from years ago. I had realized that they must’ve aged normally, meanwhile I was only a few months older than I was upon my first jump. I hesitated, electing to meet with friends first.
I’d used the internet to find my best friend who was a year younger than me. We’d grown up together so I figured it was a safe bet he’d hear me out, thankfully he did. He was awestruck that he’d been hearing from me for the first time in 20 years. He was even more concerned that it seemed I hadn’t aged a bit since then, that he, my family, and other friends had been looking for me for years. That they never gave up hope, even after having to begrudgingly call the search off after 15 years. They’d assumed the worst. But I’m babbling, this was before I learned how to jump and about jumping back and forth through time. I guess I’ve become more sentimental these days.
However there is still the matter of the unconscious, and the self. I think the mistake too often made by those seeking to find a more fundamental understanding, and thus, appreciation of their experience in life is that of not incorporating the totality of one’s life experience into considerations on who they truly are.
*This is where I finally understood, it’s currently 1408. Here Mizumura claims to hail from the year 1992, if I’m reading this right. To have seen 2002 and the beginning of a great war, 2012 and a thing he calls an internet where it appears one may speak through great distances or even time? He is a master of our worlds laws sent to grant us divine enlightenment. It would appear that I was just blessed with such knowledge.*
For example, these days we see people of great renown now being referred to by different names, that are not new in a cultural sense, however they are new to the zeitgeist if you will. Half of our lexicon for social interaction is at this point is quite literally just flashing lights and images created with the purpose of communicating human emotions. Despite not being so.
Right? Well, not necessarily. Have no doubt that humanity has come an extremely far way in our time being here as the dominant species of this planet. I have seen our earliest days and the latest years, even beyond what many would call an apocalypse. Yet we are as infantile as mere kittens. No loyalty is there to be found in pursuits of philosophical innovation as time marches on. Despite the desperate need for it’s guidance beyond all else.
It would seem destiny chose me to unlock the secrets of reality. In my adolescence I was transported to a time I couldn’t recognize at all. The longer I dwelled in that place the more I forgot where I was originally from. Eventually such things ceased to matter to anymore. When you’re able to live more lifetimes than you would’ve ever thought possible. You come to outgrow things you thought would always be there. Outlive or lose contact with those whom you couldn’t think to live without. Lose sight of who you once sought to be for that which you are destined to become.
However I believe we must come back to times of throughly extrapolating what is on within our minds. The majick we possess is intrinsically elusive, yet quite powerful when utilized properly.
Now, I must preface by warning that this is the point of no return, the proverbial and inevitable, descent into the arcane secrets to which my master has bequeathed unto me.
If you are unfamiliar with these terms and what they represent, I’d direct you to my teacher’s writings. In which she touches and speaks on topics similar to this in a way that will not be nearly as abrasive as these next few paragraphs shall be. Thank in no small part to her having been gifted with the ability to see through herself and others. Yoko has managed to live the equivalent of the span of 50 lifetimes. Indeed she’s even informed me that our first meeting wasn’t the first for her. We’d met many times before I’d first met her.
Thus I shall activate this ability in you as well dear reader. This is to be a minor quantum leap. You will literally have the past, present, and future rolling around in your head like the spin cycle on your washing machine. This tome is not for the faint of heart. If you’ve read this far and find yourself enthralled, I thank and commend you. I pride myself in mystique and intrigue, as well as my extraordinarily sharp tongue. That said simply reading will not help you achieve the mastery of which you seek. That much extrapolated, it shall do well to awaken the dormant spiritual power of which we all possess.
Continue to study these words and you shall find that you can feel it. A slight nagging, different from your blood flow or minor ticks you’ve developed. Something that feels as though it is touching you or a part of you that is outside of yourself. A part of you that is not of your physical form.
However, up until this point I have been addressing you, my captive reader in quite a facetious manner.
Why pray tell? Simple actually.
If I did not, you would not be inclined to listen. It is not so easy keeping a stream of information longer than any string of binary ever invented in one’s head while maintaining thy own sanity, or some semblance of it. Still seeking to bring more value to the lives of those around you more so than even your own. It can be pure madness, however when the madness is done there is a strange calm perhaps even, a sort of bliss.
A sense of normalcy after the danger has passed, the feeling of pure tranquility one receives from stepping out of a storm unshaken. You see, what I seek to teach is not the secret. Why would I do that? it’s literally a secret. No, I seek to teach control of one’s mana, spiritual energy, or whatsoever you should desire to call it.
I can’t help but laugh writing this because it sounds so comical. The self help book to end all self help books. The 1st magical tome I’ve written upon Yoko’s insistence.
“Yeah some random dude is gonna teach me, someone he doesn’t know and will probably never meet, magic.”
Yes if you are to listen and understand who and what you truly are, I shall, could there be any other answer?
You see magic is easy, Magick, Majik, Majick, and Magik now those are schools that still elude my understanding in a comprehensive manner. In the sense that, one is a pale imitation of a highly coveted art. Another is the more modern interpretation that is kinder to men such as myself, and the last being the cheap and exhausted derivative that only works if you believe to a literally unhinged degree.
Here’s the long and short of it, within all those who draw breath everyone has magical energy stored within them. We’ll call this ‘mana’ for now. At birth all of the forces of nature are compressed, then subsequently undergo a chemical reaction that causes these components to expand massively. Much like a miniature big bang.
Unfortunately the confusion arises when the ego comes into play after the physical form has manifested. Essentially I aim to reteach man about man. Why? Because of the gift that is the woman, and we see every day that we, as Men are strong, but who is stronger still?
Who or what? When we conjure the image of god in our minds I’m sure at this time in our evolution we all probably imagine a number of things. Being a product of people’s perception ‘God’ is fundamentally a concept that is subject to constant shifting. As I mentioned earlier society seems to be hooked on there being a ubiquitous omnipotent god and knowing how to communicate with this being. Even with a lack of belief in such a being. There is a fundamental nature we all seek to invoke. Love.
We all seek to find God or what we see as such, to find boundless love. And I to that say please stop right now. That’s not a joke either. I warn you of this because you literally know not what you do. When you flirt with love so flippantly you are delivered unto oblivion. You’ll end up in what seems to be a wonderland you’ve never known the full ecstasy of, a lucid waking dream of indescribable proportions, however it will inevitably become empty.
You see being God is not a gift, nor is it a nightmare. It is an eternity of what we would consider to be anguish, confusion, and sheer misunderstanding. I have meditated to such a degree that I would say I’ve personally ascended the Tower of Babel to it’s peak and even beyond it. Unfortunately, this is where it becomes confusing.
I have personally utilized unconscious rituals and have practiced mantras to create my own school of magic. I understand this school already exists in some form or other, thus making my school but a branch of it, however I still aim to expand it’s reach in every corner of that the darkness of ignorance may yet hide. This school’s name is Tsukikami Gakkō. “The Moon God’s school” I’m establishing it as it’s sole member and practitioner, again at the behest of my master. However I know that after my time our practices will be responsible for greater things and evolutions than any ascent I will ever be capable of.
I have spent my life obsessed with titles, more specifically names that one engraves into their soul that have come from identifying a familiarity with it’s essence. Whether you see this work, this tome, as fiction or otherwise it’s essence is unmistakable and simultaneously indescribable.
I have collected and utilized titles to predict the future, accurately and in a manner that requires minimal effort and experience to utilize. It is thanks to my ability to move unbarred by the sands of time that I have been allowed this privilege. As it is in alignment with the divine.
I’ve developed the ability of enhanced foresight over the years, in fact I have even gone so far as to measure the spacial waves of any area I find myself in. I do this by measuring the light and sound waves that are created by every emission within my surroundings. Through intense focus and religious repetition I have drilled it into myself to be so keenly aware that nothing escapes my note. Unfortunately a side effect of doing so can be to appear as a sort of madman. Unfortunately every so often I cut myself off of the mana’s flow. It can all be too much sometimes. The first few instances of this were nightmarish, yet as time passed I’ve adjusted. This intense practice has allowed me to attain deep states of constant meditation. That is to say my very essence is a meditatative one. That is not to say however, that this is either advisable or something to be encouraged. I prefer forms of practice that involve a deep, near singular razor sharp focus and immense dedication.
This is why I’ve chosen to demystify the mystic practices that of which I’ve encountered. I do this out of respect for continuing the art and expanding the comprehensive nature of the holistic systems that it resides within.
I am and identify as Kami, an essence of or aspect of the totality of it all, of the universe, and of nature. A fundamental force. I serve an ancient soul that I identify as my common ancestor. A relative of mine who’s energy I resonate with in ways that I will not be able to fully understand due to the constraints of time, and accurate historical information as well as pure fact. Ironic how I may move freely through time, yet I still have such limitations.
I am not the be all end all.
As history is very much the interpretation of whatever perception our society deems fair based on the agreements and agendas that each community of individual powers hold, it is disingenuous to assume anything about an energy so ancient as that. Thus I only seek to channel, further contemplate upon, and meditate on how best to live to my fullest potential to attain a more total balance and happiness in my experience in life.
In my experience as Kami I am but an aspect of nature, to be modified, at it’s discretion. If you do not understand the Shinto beliefs of the eastern practice I realize how difficult it may be to comprehend what I mean, however this is only to state my nature and perception on being such. Being a deity to some isn’t as glorious as it seems to the uninitiated.
I’m a forgotten God who has lived and died as such, endlessly who is far too tired of the boundless gluttony of my greaters that we call elders. That is not to disrespect or disregard my personal ancestors that I address and choose to work alongside spiritually, but instead it is aimed at the cursed souls that dared curse their children for a momentary relief from the hells that these Gods raised in their own right. I say Gods as it can only be due to a Ragnarok level event that has shook even the hold of the new Gods. In my world, there is no longer a world, instead it has morphed into a maze of endless universes stacked atop one another.
If you are to listen properly to your mind you will find that you too are god. In your own right, we are all products of the source that may never sway from being such. No mater what you may do, unless you are to take all of the memories of every lifetime you’ve experience and compile them all into one being. Then dedicate that being’s life to breaking into the source of pure creation, allowing yourself to live unfettered by any form of god. It is likely that you are as I’ve said, a god following another god’s rule.
Recognize the lowercase g instead of uppercase as this will assist in distinguishing between the two. One is an absolute within it’s domain. The other seeks a domain to which they may lay claim to.
*It was here that I’d understood two things for sure, Mizumura was either a madman or a visionary. As well as I could feel some of the auric energy he mentioned earlier begin to react.*
This world bores me, it betrays itself constantly and contradicts itself endlessly, yet none stand. We all float along knowing our destination and resisting the entire time, all to believe in our own understanding. We seek to pursue our own selfishness to such ends that we rob ourselves of a balanced way of life. This in turn robs us of a balanced after life as well. If energy can not be created nor destroyed then we have the limit of it all. None can destroy what it cannot create. This means that the energy that we perceive as dark matter may quite possibly be the discovery that expands the possibilities of humanity’s journey throughout space time.
I speak in metaphysical terms because I find an appreciation in the limitations placed upon existence by the laws of physics. You learn to respect them when you’ve seen the wrath that violation of these laws incur. However I do also believe that there is an argument to be made for the erroneous belief that our understanding is as comprehensive as we think; on a larger scale. It is more than entirely possible that if there is a massive gravitational wave distortion that space time could shift in a way that preserves your being as you perceive it, but be so expansive that one could not hope to properly navigate it with infinite amounts of time, not effectively that is. It is possible for all of existence to be as we perceive, however let us do the math. With as many planets that exist in the universe, in fact in just a galaxy. Earth is the only one with signs of intelligent life? Right?
So it isn’t at all possible that humanity is just so self obsessed that we didn’t consider that other more intelligent civilizations have already shrunken themselves down to conserve energy in an effort to vastly expand their survivability relative to the entropic cosmic distortions that relative space is subject to? In any serious manner that is.
Yes? No? I mean legitimately I understand how asinine it may sound but we should start to consider what we really don’t know. It is often advertised how much we as a species knows. Yet, what don’t we know? That’s the issue with a lack of transparency. Why many would be inclined to willingly and eagerly adopt my teachings if I were to offer them up.
Now I understand you’re likely inquiring what space, magic & all of it’s more ancient spellings/practices, metaphysics, physics, and general relativity have to do with unlocking your powers. Wondering all that you know where I’m going with this. Or at least believe you do. In truth I’m here to shine a beacon.
This is High fantasy Sci-fi for the Sci-Fi age, where science fiction will quite soon become science fact. You see before coming to the 15th century I spent a number of years in the early and late 21st.
Now I know this sounds too good to be true while simultaneously and eerily real and familiar.
It is a tale as old as time, we screwed.
We all choose to avoid choosing.
It never fails, but it’s the truth, how often do you allow choices to be made for you without realizing? Do you even know?
I do, how do I know? Because I remember the choices I made with my own agency fully within my focus. I remember where I stand, always, especially with myself, not in service to myself or my vices, but as one who does not exist in a vacuum. One who’s focus and dedication are so intently centered in pure understanding, comprehension, and meditation that it seems like madness until you enter this state as well.
In the arts it is referred to as a flow state, and not only in that, but also in many other practices that require intensive focus as well as mental assuredness and acuity.
This state is for me at this point the equivalent of wearing a thin cardigan with a zipper, wearing it openly to allow it to flow with the wind. It’s my element and it is a melancholy of cosmic drama. I love it and hate it. This is god to me, God knowing itself seeing itself loving itself.
Depending on your state of mind that can sound like any number of things. It is a state of total incandescent contentment that never fades throughout all of time. It is being afforded the wealthiest trait of pure boredom. That is rich, that is the highest high. Being totally, completely, hopelessly, unendingly bored and devoid of any feelings but those that you choose. That is childhood, that is godhood in itself coming back into the world. Attempting to find the appropriate place to cut the cord on the unconscious to remain conscious with the realm that our souls currently find themselves bound within to occupy until it is time to return.
It is my understanding as Kami that has granted me this wisdom, yet know this, I say that with the knowledge that my experience is yet incomplete. This Tome is not ancient, thus it is not new. Instead the first of many spells I seek to place on this world. To protect it from itself, as I had to protect myself, from my own self. I now find that I must protect these ties that bind, as they are the strongest things I know close to that place. Takamagahara the home of the gods. That is what I would describe as my heaven because my soul is confused.
I remember the splendor of heaven’s kiss, but know the pain and despair of hell’s abyss. Much like Donte’s Inferno I dove into hell. Unfortunately I think that’s the only reason I’m currently alive. How am I to know what spirit wishes to inhabit my body if we are only amalgamations of shared experience wearing masks to conceal our darkest thoughts. These masks are but thin veneers to hide from the bigger monster. The one we imagine, you see if we are all parts of the same God all god in our own right, then we’re all here in life for what? Love.
So in our desire to have a more wholesome love do we not betray our own intentions by choosing to walk the path alone, choosing selfishness over selflessness. It’s a triumvirate that’s convinced itself to self obsess in binary. My point is, the world, specifically the world powers we see today have an obligation to love fundamentally. Yet when I look outside I see hate.
I understand the reason for it, but the reason is just a bandaid. We’re trying to fix an amputated limb with duct tape. It’s only a matter of time before gangrene takes over and you’re gone.
We’ve forgotten the practices that we passed down. Now we’ve forgotten the meaning and purpose behind those practices. Who is to say that this isn’t the intent of that which dictates the reality in which we reside.
*As I finish the first chapter of this massive tome my cottage begins to shake violently as there is a blindly bright flash coming from the forest of wanderlust. Without thinking I shoot up from my desk and instinctively run to the wall then oddly enough appear outside, falling. I land on the cobblestone streets of Renmai and start off towards the forest at top speed.*
To be continued…
About the Creator
“Kuro Silence (Seijaku) is a rapper/producer from Baltimore, Maryland. From trap to experimental, Kuros work defies normative currents of Hip-Hop’s soundscape with his work ethic and forays into Hip-Hop’s many sub-genres.”
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