Love Trials: How Deep Is Your Love?

I stood there glowering at the father of my child with my arms folded. If our daughter wasn’t in the next room playing with his stepkids and his wife I would of slit his throat and bounced. However, the witnesses that consisted of innocent children I didn’t want to taint and the fact I had love for this man because he was Malubay’s father albeit I was no longer IN love with him; were his saving graces at the moment. So I stood there imagining all the different ways I could not kill nor torture him. “Who gave or how did you get this information?” Alejandro asked trying to stall with the explanation I was there for.

“You don’t get to ask no questions cabron. What you get to do is answer mine? The night my body was found in the gutter at the park was it due to my attempted suicide that I beat myself up over time and time again because you guilt trip me for taking myself out and damn near leaving our new born daughter to grow up without her mother. Or is that file correct and you had your family jump me and leave me to rot?”

Alejandro looked me in the eyes and with no remorse said, “my mother told my uncle to kill you because I had shared too much with you. Jumping you in was the ONLY way to save you mi vida.”

On impulse I took the switchblade he had given me years ago from my back pocket and went for his jugular witnesses be damned. As expected he caught the blade in his hand and pulled me into a bear hug. I tried to wriggle free but he had me tight so I did the only thing I could I bit his neck. He moaned and let me go grabbing his neck with his bloody hand. Seeing the lust in his eyes I pointed the blade at his crown jewels. “That wasn’t an invitation. Come any closer prometo my next target I won’t miss.”

“You know that’s one of my turn on spots.”

“You should have let me cut you instead of hugging me.” I retorted.

He raised his bloody hand at me. “Technically you did.”

“That isn’t where I wanted the blood to gush from.” I said going to the fridge and pouring me a shot of tequila to calm me.

“Ok smartass.” Alejandro said as he took the bottle from me and poured it on his wound then wrapped it up.

“Yea well as I always say it’s better to be a smartass than a….” I began.

“Dumbass.” We both said at the same time.

Alejandro smirked at me and I rolled my eyes. “Any other woman including my wife would have been killed for lesser and yet you time and time again keep doing the most. And time and time again I save you and yet you’re not grateful. No wonder my hood thinks I’m loco for loving your neg…..” I gave him a warning look flipping the blade in my hand daring him to finish the word I despised that his family called me and our daughter, “blasian psychotic ass.” He amended.

“Oh lo siento jefe should I drop and give you 50 for letting your family literally jump me to death. Or maybe I should let you bend me over the kitchen counter for putting me in a lifestyle I wanted no parts of EVER. A lifestyle, that is the whole reason why I never married your ass. I figured when I threw your chain back in your face, once I realized what it symbolized you would get it through that thick skull that I didn’t want the life, respect, nor the protection that came with wearing your chain.”

“Like I said it was the only way.”

“You should have just let them kill me. It would have been a kinder sentence.” Alejandro clenched his jaw and I could see a tick throbbing in his forehead. “You have no idea how many rules have been broken, how much my cred has been questioned, how much blood I have shed, and loyalties divided because I chose to fall for, love, have a kid with AND try to marry someone not part of the life much less my culture.”

“No I don’t and at this point I don’t care because all the years you guilt trip me telling me I wasn’t shit for almost putting our daughter through the same fate I had as kid, you could have me dijiste la verdad.”

I started to walk past him to leave the kitchen and he grabbed me by my arm stopping me. “When your body was found and they rushed you to the hospital. Your cousin called me and said I better send out prayers because it didn’t look good. You had flatlined three times and the doctors weren’t hopeful you’d survive the night. You of all people know I haven’t been a praying man in a very long time. That night I got on my knees and asked God if he saved you I’d denounce the life and go legit. After I prayed I went to my uncles house and issued a challenge against his son, the one who oversaw your initiation. When the night was over you lived, my cousin died and Santana left the life and went legit broke as a motherfucker and exiled.”

I closed my eyes and shook my head fighting back my tears that threatened to fall. “For All Mine I’ll Lay Yours. That’s family.” I whispered the words he told me when he put his chain around my neck for the first time all those years. “Oh bunny you should have just let your mom have her way. Enjoy tonight with the kids especially with Malubay. Tu tio has lifted your exile. For helping you save me and letting you walk after exacting your revenge he’s calling in his favor owed. He sent me to make sure you got the message loud and clear. Death or jail are the only ways out the life you were born into. Fullfill your rightful place or me and your daughter will pay your debt. Esta noche te odio mas de lo que te amo.” I kissed him on the forehead and left his house hugging my child on the way out.