Love's Greatest Journey

Jenna was a calm spirited girl. Her eyes were golden brown, filled with the tears of her past trauma and heartache. Her thoughts and feelings were fueled by the disappointment and trauma of those who she loved dearly, but had not returned that same love to her. Her curly rose gold hair fell to her shoulders like a calming ripple in a beautiful lake on a windy day in the Fall. She was alone, whether she was in a room full of people or sitting quietly, reading her favorite novel that sat on her bedside table. She always felt alone. She searched for purpose, searched for the love that she knew she deserved. She had family, but none of them suffered with anxiety and depression as she did. As a child she was victimized by a family member who stole her sense of security, and stole her innocence. She looked for love in all the wrong places and believed truly that she was broken and would never find someone who genuinely loved her. She decided that maybe the years of abuse that haunted her would disappear if she moved as far from the city where it happened. She thought just maybe if she left there, that new friends, new experiences, and new love would finally find her. But little did she know, those things would follow her, and this is how her new story would begin.
Despite her skepticism, she journeyed with her life possessions packed in her car, including her beautiful cat and her lizard to a new place where she would start fresh. During her car ride she went through a series of emotions. Anxiety, excitement, sadness, happiness, and despair were all hitting her at once but not for herself - for the people and way of life she had left behind. Being 850 miles away from the place she called home felt like a sweet dream, and a beautiful nightmare. She kept repeating to herself during her journey “ You are strong, you will be ok, anyone you love is a phone call or a plane ride away, you can do this!” Upon her arrival, she carried all of her things into her new home. It wasn’t much but it was absolutely perfect for her to begin her new life. It was a manufactured home that set on a corner lot in a very nice community. The outside of her new home was sage green, with white trimmings. There was an adorable patio adorned in beautiful pink and orange Hibiscus plants lining the front, with 2 wicker chairs and a table. She walked in and set her things down and looked around. She was home.
Over the next few months she would go through those same emotions she went through on her journey to her new life but most of those days were filled with happiness. She loved to explore her new city and loved meeting the local people there. The only downside to her new city was that it was one affected by the pandemic that had taken over most of the World in just a short year. Many regular attractions and ways of life had changed over the course of that year, so adjusting in a new environment with a new set of Government mandated guidelines was a task in itself. She pressed on. Her new home was really close to the beach. Her previous home was in an urban area, so she didn’t normally go to the beach there. She quickly took advantage of the beach being so close to her new home and found that it was her new place of solitude. She could go to the beach to laugh, cry, sing, scream, whatever she felt. There was a certain calming effect the crashing waves had on her, the feeling of the warm sand on her toes, and the beauty that she never knew she was missing.The sun hitting her rose gold hair, the mist of the salty ocean water gently coating her face and the feeling of the cool water rushing over her feet as she stood in awe of what her golden brown eyes were seeing.
For weeks on end, she continued to go to her new place of solitude.No particular visit was better than the one before but still, she found great solitude there. Whenever the trauma from her past became too much she would run to the ocean for comfort. Every single time she went, the ocean delivered what she was hoping for, until one day as she was standing in the same spot she had stood months and months before, she felt a wave crash just a few feet from her, and she felt something hit her foot. At first she thought it was a piece of debris from the ocean, but she bent down to get a closer look, and much to her surprise, it was a little black book.
She reached down swiftly and grabbed the book, just before the ocean tried to take it back. Just as she stood up after retrieving the book, her cell phone rang. Shaking the book off as it had just come from the Ocean and was wet, she refocused her attention to her phone. She looked to see who was calling and it was her sister. She answered the phone, grasped the book in her hand and walked back toward her car. She kicked the excess sand off of her shoes, got in her car and threw the little black book on her front seat. Looking at the book while on the phone she could see that the pages were all stuck together, so she would give it a couple of days to dry out before trying to open it and see its contents. She sat there for a few minutes talking to her sister. Her sister was her best friend. Every time she needed a familiar voice, an opinion without judgement, or a shoulder to cry on, her sister was there. After hanging up the phone with her sister, she headed in the direction of home. As soon as she got home, she got out of her car and retrieved her keys, forgetting all about the little black book being in her front seat.
She went in her house and then began prepping dinner. For dinner that night she decided to go with her favorite meal, salmon and rice. Since she was new to the area still, and being in the midst of the pandemic, she still hadn’t met any friends. For the next few days she stayed home, enjoying the peace she never knew she could have. While dealing with her every day anxiety and depression as well as a debilitating chronic inflammatory illness that caused a great deal of pain, she spent most of those days talking with her friends and family in her hometown online, eating her favorite snacks and binge watching her favorite shows. She fell asleep in her bed, snacks around her, her cat cuddling her, and had a dream.
In her dream she was walking along the beach, no surprise that the beach was a part of this particular dream because it was such a new, important part of her life. She was walking along the beach and saw a woman, sitting on a blanket, clenching something to her chest, crying. Jenna had always had such a sensitive heart when it came to others. Her whole life she always cared and loved others, putting their wants, needs, and feelings before her own. Something inside Jenna wanted so badly to console this stranger, but something stronger inside of her gravitated toward the object that the woman was clenching over her Heart. Jenna, who wore glasses that were perfect for her usually, had to squint to make out the object. As she focused in, she saw that the woman was clenching a little black book to her chest. Without wanting to disturb the woman, Jenna continued her walk down the beach. As she got closer to the Ocean, as soon as the mist hit her face in her dream, she woke up.
As soon as she woke up, her dream, which was so very real, reminded her of the black book she found at the ocean just a few days before! With a sudden sense of urgency, Jenna jumped up, grabbed her keys and ran to her car. Somehow, the little black book she had forgotten just a few days earlier in the front seat of her car, had been remembered. Being that the book had been on her front seat for a few days, it had dried out and the pages were no longer sticking together. Jenna brought the book inside and sat down. As she sat down, flipped the cover open, she saw the following:

To my beautiful Grace,
My love for you is a journey, starting at forever, and ending at never.

Love Always,
Thomas

Jenna hadn’t realized, but as she finished reading the writing, a tear dropped on the page, and she quickly wiped it off. She spent the next hour, which seemed like a lifetime, flipping thru the pages of the little black book, studying every single picture, minutes focusing on each page, as each page had a date stamp, words of love and encouragement, birthdays, weddings, anniversaries, childbirths, love letters, postcards, and even a few pages had dried flowers sealed safely under the protective film. Much to her surprise, despite the book being in the water, not many pages were damaged. One photo that caught her eye was a photo of a man, standing with his hand extended to his side like he was holding onto something, but it was only half of a picture. Jenna thought maybe somehow that picture had been damaged by the water so proceeded through the rest of the pages. As Jenna neared the end of the little black book, in her heart she wanted it to go on forever, but knew that at some point, it would run out of pages. She got to the very last page, she saw handwriting, but not the same handwriting as she had seen on the first page. The writing she saw on the very last page said:

To my dearest Thomas,
I sit here today, looking over our life’s greatest accomplishments, and wonder how I will ever be able to live without you. You left before our album was complete, but I wanted you to know, I made it safely back to the place we met and will continue to come here until I take my last breath because this is where I feel closest to you. Our journey together ended before we wanted, but I will still journey with you in my heart.

I miss you my love,
Grace

As before, when Jenna was reading the passage on the first page, tears were streaming down her face. Noticing a large smudge at the bottom of the page, where a heart had once been drawn, Jenna immediately recognized the smudge, it appeared to be a teardrop, but not from her! She sat there in silence for a few minutes reflecting on what she just read. As she went to close the book, a photo dropped out. She picked up the photo, and it did not look like any of the photos she had already seen, and she had flipped through that book very carefully. She grasped the picture and screamed. Her heart pounding, her mind racing, she jumped to her feet! The picture she was holding in her hand was a picture of the woman at the beach that she saw in her dream! The picture was of the woman, clenching something to her chest! As Jenna looked closer at the photo, IT WAS THE LITTLE BLACK BOOK THAT SHE HAD SEEN IN HER DREAM that she was holding in real life!
Completely taken aback, Jenna tossed the black book onto her chair. She went to the bathroom to splash some water on her face. She walked back to the living room, and sat for hours, staring at the little black book. Jenna decided that since the little black book obviously belonged to someone who had been to the beach where she found it, she would do some research to see if she could find the family who lost it.The dates in there were long before the day she found it, so she feared that the family it belonged to may have passed on already. She posted the shortened version of what she found in the book on many community forums, desperately searching for the family who had lost it, because SURELY they would want it back. Months go by, and after Jenna decided to post a few of the non-intimate photos online hoping that maybe someone would recognize the pictures, the people in them, or the places. Jenna was very careful not to post too many pictures online, as she wanted the actual owner or owner’s family to come forward. With every post, she included every way that someone could contact her to claim their little black book. One morning, Jenna woke up, starting every morning the same, she opened her eyes, stretched, and headed toward her kitchen to make coffee. As her coffee finished brewing, she opened up her laptop and saw that she had a new email. The title of the email was: “The little black book you found”
Jenna’s jaw dropped. Did she finally find the owner of the book? As she clicked on the email nervously, she was astonished. The email read:
Hi, Jenna! My name is Allison. You have no idea how long this email took me to send. I was sent one of your posts from the community page, because someone recognized a picture in that little black book you found. It was the half of picture. The picture of the man, with his hand extended out like he was holding something, I have the other half to the picture. That picture was the last picture that my Mother took of me and my Father before he was sent to war, where he never returned and he was holding my hand. I have attached my part of the picture to this email. You have no idea how absolutely amazed I am that you even found this book! My Mom and I frequented that beach after my Dad had passed away. Although we moved from that area years ago, we still visited that beach every year because it made us feel closer to my Dad. But on our last visit, before my Mom passed away, we got home and had realized that the book was not with us. It began to rain, and when we went back after the storm, the spot we had the book was completely wet as if the water had come up. We assumed that it had been washed away. Jenna rushed to open the email attachment, she grabbed the book and began flipping thru it so fast to get to the half of picture, in fact, so fast, that she missed it and had to flip back. Much to her surprise, she held the photo up to the screen of her computer and could clearly see that this was in fact the other half to the picture she had seen in the book. Jenna squealed. She continued reading the email which ended “Unfortunately, because of the pandemic, and I am very ill, I cannot come to retrieve the book, would you mind dropping it in the mail? After jotting down the name and address in the email, Jenna replied back:
“Hi Allison! I am sitting here in utter amazement that we found each other. I noticed that the address you gave me to mail the book to is only an hour from me. I would be more than willing to drop it off to you. I understand you are very ill, so I can leave it on your porch or in your door so that you can retrieve it when you can. You know, if you can, give me a call and we can work out the details. With the pandemic, mailing is running slow and with something this important, I wouldn’t want it to be lost so I would rather drop it off to you.”
Jenna hit SEND. A few minutes later, which seemed like an eternity, her phone rang. It was an unknown number. Rushing to answer, not to miss it, she greets the caller. “Hello, this is Jenna”
A very shaky, frail voice was on the other end of the phone by her actual tone, she didn’t sound elderly. “Hi, hi, this is Allison, about the book, I am so happy you found it, I can’t talk long because I get pretty winded, but sure, you can drop off the book to me whenever you’d like, please leave it on the porch swing. You have no idea how much this means to me, thank you!” Jenna replied “No problem, I’ll bring it by later this afternoon!”
Jenna hung up, hands shaking. She was so excited. Even though she wouldn’t get to meet Allison, she was so thrilled to be able to return such a sentimental piece of family history to her. Jenna grabbed her keys, phone, purse, and the little black book, put Allison’s address in her GPS, and headed to take the little black book to its rightful owner. Jenna’s mind was so absorbed in what was happening, that she didn’t realize she had driven as far as she had and she would be arriving at Allison’s house. Jenna pulled up to the house, and noticed a long dirt driveway. She pulled on the side without blocking the driveway to make sure she had the right place. She double checked, and then slowly turned into the driveway. She noticed a large Victorian style house in front of her, mainly white, with light blue shutters, a light blue door, and a wrap around porch, with an American flag flying proudly from a large flag pole adjacent to the porch. Jenna thought to herself, WOW, this is incredible, all of this land! This house was absolutely stunning! As Jenna stopped her car at the wider space that had opened up close to the house, she turned her car off. By this time she was shaking with emotions. Those same emotions she felt since she found this little black book. As she got out of the car she looked up at the house, in a window close to the top of the house and there was a man, in a soldier’s uniform, standing in the window. She recognized the man. It was the man in the book! She gasped, and flipped through the book to the page of the half picture of the man, looked at the picture, and put her hand over her mouth so she wouldn’t scream. She looked back up almost immediately at the window, and the man was gone. Shaken up, she rushed to the porch to put the book where Allison had requested.
On the porch swing as she sat the book down there was an envelope, with her name on it. She grabbed the envelope and took off toward the car. What did she just see?! Allison had told her she lived there alone!!!! Was this some kind of prank? Jenna jumped in her car, and took off down the dirt and gravel driveway to get back home. She spent the next house replaying what just happened through her mind. She got home and immediately called Allison, and Allison answered. “Hello, Jenna, did you drop off the book? Did you find the place ok? Did you take the envelope?”
Jenna replied “Yes I found your place just fine, I dropped it off, and I got the envelope, but you already thanked me, you didn’t need to give me a card. You’re too kind.” Jenna’s voice cracked, “B-u-ut, Allison, I know you don’t know me and it’s none of my business, but, um, when I came to your house, and pulled in your driveway, I was admiring your beautiful house, and I could’ve SWORN that I saw your Father, the man in the the picture, or someone who looked like him, standing in the window? But, I, I, I know that’s not possible, right?” Allison replied “Oh, I don’t know, I mean, obviously my Dad passed away long ago, so it couldn’t be him, and I live alone, so maybe you’re mistaken.” “My Mom passed away, and left me this house, this is where I grew up, this house was my parent’s very first house before my Dad went to war. Jenna replied as not wanting to pry “Oh ya know, it’s been a really emotional day for us all, you’re right, maybe I am mistaken.” Allison said “Well, again, thank you again so very much for bringing the book, I can’t wait to look through it, my caregiver will be here soon so I’ll get it. Make sure you don’t forget to open the envelope!” Jenna replied, “Ok! I won’t, I’m glad you have it back now!
Jenna hung up. She KNEW that she most definitely saw a man, in a soldier’s uniform, the same one in the picture, standing in a window there. But, Allison reassured her that no one else lived there or was there so maybe she was mistaken.
Jenna opened up the envelope and grabbed the paper inside, reading it very carefully.

“Dear Jenna,
You have no idea how much it means to me that you found this little black book that was missing for what seemed like forever. Unfortunately, I am terminally ill and my Doctor says I don’t have much time. One thing I cherished most in life was the album of my parent’s love story that I thought was gone forever. So please take this as a thank you for the gift you gave me before I start on my journey to meet them in heaven.”
Jenna with tears in her eyes, flips the page over. Nothing. Looking around for a minute wondering what “thank you” Allison was referring to, she looks in the envelope. She pulls out the item in the envelope and gasps.
She begins to cry. She set down the item she got from the envelope. It is a handwritten check made out to her in the amount of $20,000. She stares in astonishment at the check and immediately calls Allison because this was NOT what she expected. She picks up her phone, goes to her recent calls and redials Allison’s number, but the line kept ringing busy. Jenna was absolutely dumbfounded. She grabbed her keys and jumped in the car to return this check, as it was too much. She arrived at Allison’s house an hour later but she saw red, blue and white lights and an ambulance. She slowly drove up to the house and saw a man in scrubs standing on the side. She walked over. “Hi, um, I, I’m a friend of Allison's. I returned the black book earlier, is she ok? I mean, she left me an envelope and it was a mistake and I was coming to return it…” As Jenna was talking, the man in scrubs said nothing, redirecting his attention toward the door. The paramedics came out of the door with a stretcher, Jenna turned away for a moment, as she wanted to give Allison privacy but not before noticing that she can see a white sheet covering the stretcher, what appears to have a body underneath. Jenna screamed in her mind “OMG, Allison….” As the paramedics carefully brought the stretcher down the steps and put it into the ambulance, there’s a crisp breeze in the air and a silence, time seemed to stand still. As the ambulance pulled away, Jenna turned to the man in scrubs. “I’m sorry, I mean, is Allison ok?” And he said “Hi ,I’m Victor, I was Allison’s caregiver. Shortly before you arrived she had me leave you the envelope. But I'm sorry to tell you, she passed away.
Jenna’s jaw dropped. “Oh my God, I’m sorry…” Victor said “Oh, but, ha ha, Ms. Jenna, if you’re trying to return that check, I was instructed not to take it back. It’s yours.” Jenna says “A-a-are you sure?” Victor smiling “Yes, all $20,000 is yours. You think that she was crazy for giving you $20,000? Jenna exclaimed “You’re kidding! WOW!” Victor laughed “ I found out last week that she left me this entire house and all the land around it!” That Allison was always a giving woman. She treated and loved everyone like they were family. But listen, not to cut you off but I need to head out and do my report, but here, take my number in case the bank has any problems cashing the check. Oh, and text me so I can keep you posted on her arrangements.” Jenna “O-o-ok” Jenna got in her car and headed down the driveway. “Wow, what a journey today has been,” she thought to herself. She went to the bank and deposited the check. She got home and sat down with a glass of wine.
A few more days goes by and she can’t stop thinking about everything. She texted Victor to find out Allison’s arrangements, but due to the pandemic, and the fact that she didn’t have any other family, there was going to be no official arrangements made, but Allison was to be cremated and her ashes spread in the ocean, at the same beach that her parents had met, where the little black book was found. Over the next few months, they texted back and forth, realizing they definitely had chemistry, they both had the same likes, dislikes, and were both going through the same things.Victor invited Jenna to join him at the beach on the day Allison’s ashes were to be spread. Jenna was so nervous pulling up to the beach but got out. Victor was standing there smiling, holding Allison’s Urn in his hands. They walked and talked for hours. Victor stopped and looked at Jenna. He leans forward, kisses her but then leans back and pulls something out of his pocket. It’s a little black book. Jenna asked if the book was the same as the one she had returned but she flipped through the pages and saw nothing. He said “No, love, this is the little black book we are going to fill with all of our own memories.”