Lost but found

“Rise and shine!” Dan pulled the curtain wide open. Twilight crept into the square room. It was 5 p.m.

“Who are you talking to?” Rachel asked, irritated.

“No one.” His voice was quieter.

“It’s not even morning anymore.”

“Yeah. But there's still some light,” Dan said, shrugging his shoulders.

“You need to get up earlier. Humans need sunlight, you know?”

“Yeah…” Dan walked over to sit on a couch.

Rachel had spent the day working at a bookstore. It was her first day, and also the day she realized that working and selling books is nothing like reading and enjoying them, and how naive she was to expect they would be the same thing. That evening after work, she picked up a book and didn't stop reading for 5 hours

While Rachel read, Dan spaced out. His face was pale as usual. His hollow eyes were brown. He stared out at the sky that had many colors in it — blue, red, purple, and pink.

“Do you think I’m worthless?” Asked Dan.

“What did you say? I didn't catch that.”

“Oh, never mind,” Dan stood up and went straight to the door.

“I think you’re depressed.”

“What…?”

“You’re not worthless,” Rachel said, looking up this time.

“You may be a lot of things, but worthless is not one of them. Don’t be stupid and believe that.” She continued before returning to her book.

“Thanks,” Dan went back into his messy room. He grabbed a tote bag, returned to the door, and left. Rachel was still sitting at a table with her book.

Outside, a squirrel ran past Dan with a cherry in its paws. He saw it disappearing into a huge tree. It was getting dark. “Where the hell did it get that cherry anyway?” He thought to himself.

Dan just lost his job as a marketing consultant. Well, he quit, but he felt like he had lost his job. Those five years… No one knew why he quit because nothing was wrong with the job, and his colleagues were also nice, trustworthy people. They all wished him the best. Even a new intern cried at least twice when she heard the news, probably in the bathroom, and at the goodbye party.

Before he quit, Dan went on a trip with his new friend from Mexico he met on the internet. They went hiking, surfing in the Caribbean Sea. He ate a lot of seafood — more than he’d ever eaten in his whole life. After that, there was a voice, the gut feeling telling him that something needed to be changed, so he quit.

Now, he’s here. In an Asian country. He rented a room in a cheap apartment with a roommate he had, again, met on the internet. In the southern part of the country, the sea was like a neighbor living nearby, so the same with seafood.

Salt air used to spark the excitement in him. But now, it is just the air he breathes. He still can’t figure out what went wrong. Should he regret leaving a job that was once his comfort zone? Did he make the right choice moving to Thailand without any jobs? Only some savings in his bank account — enough for living here for how long? A year? Maybe? And it had been two months already.

Hope didn’t last so long when you’re depressed. What lasted long was time, when the empty feeling seemed like it was never going to end. Something needed to happen, or he would go deeper into the rabbit hole of sadness and seafood and regrets and more new people on the internet.

At the beach, Dan had fried rice full of shrimp and squids, it tasted freaking good. He also drank coconut water straight from the shell. He wondered how amazing it would be if he still had his job, and that was just him enjoying his holiday in a foreign country for a week or two. Would it be more incredible that way? He would never find out.

As he finished the last shrimp, Rachel called. He picked up the phone after it had been ringing, loudly, for at least 5 times. People at the next table glanced at him.

“Hello?” He said.

“Where are you?” the phone said

“At the beach, why?”

“I think the book I’m reading. The writer might have mentioned you.”

“What?”

“Did you use to paint?”

“Wait, what are you talking about?”

“In high school, did you paint and sell your work to a white man with brown hair, probably?” Rachel asked, with emphasis on every word.

“Wait… Yes? How did you know that?”

“Well, the person who bought your painting is the writer!”

“OH, SHIT. How do you know it was me? And why did he write about me? I’m confused.”

“He wrote your name. I wanted to check if it’s you. And it’s really you!” Rachel sounded a little shaky.

“Yeah, I was just trying to make some money at the time. Damn, I didn’t know he was a writer.”

“Oh my god, he said your work reminded him of his hometown and his mother’s old house, it was a beach house or something like that, he said that he was about to request a beach house painting, but you ghosted him before he could ask.”

“Oh, yeah…. I was a little messy back then. But I didn’t know it was a big deal for him.”

“You know, he’s still trying to find you.”

“What? Why?”

“He wants a beach house painting! Were you even listening to me?” “I think it’s a sign from the universe! You should paint!” Rachel’s voice filled with excitement, Dan didn’t know she could be this excited before.

“I don’t know… Won’t it be weird?”

“What's weird is that you ghosted a rich man who was ready to pay you! Aren’t you broke and jobless right now? Wait, I found his contact now, you should go for it.”

“What? Wait. What am I supposed to do about it?”

“E-mail him, call him, or whatever, I don’t care. Just ask him if he still wants your painting! Damn! I hate seeing you depressed every afternoon, it doesn’t look good on you. Do something! OK?”

“Jeez, alright, I'm about to get back now. But, thank you, by the way. I guess.”

After he hung up the phone, Dan thought about what he’d completely forgotten for years: painting. He wondered if the man he’d met on the internet years ago would still want to buy his work. Either way, he finished his drink, stood up, and went to a stationery store on the way back, hoping that a change would be waiting in the corner somewhere for him to walk by.