loner

In retrospect, the story that Wei Lianshu and I got to know each other is also unique. In fact, it started with Shu Shu and ended with shu Shu Shu.

When I was in S-Town, I heard his name mentioned all the time. It was said that he was very strange: he studied zoology, but became a history teacher in the middle school; Always indifferent to people, but often like to meddle in other people's business; Chang said that the family should be broken up, but as soon as he received his salary, he would send it to his grandmother without a day's delay. There were many other scraps of gossip; In short, he was a good conversationalist in S Town. One autumn, I stayed idle at a relative's house in Hanshishan. Their last name is Wei. They are the real family of Lianshu. But they did not understand him, as if he were a foreigner, saying that he was "different from all of us."

This is not surprising. Although schools have been open in China for 20 years, there is not even a primary school in Hanshishan. In the whole mountain village, only Lianshu is the alumna who went on a study tour, so from the perspective of villager, he is really an anomaly. But he was also jealous and said he earned a lot of money.

By the end of autumn, dysentery was prevalent in the mountain village; I, too, was in danger of returning to the city. At that time, I heard that Lianshu's grandmother was sick. Because she was old, she was heavy. There's not a doctor in the mountains. His family consisted, in fact, of only one grandmother, who lived simply with a woman; He lost his parents when he was a child and was brought up by this grandmother. I heard that she had suffered a lot before, but now she was happy. But because he had no family, his family was very lonely, and this was probably one of the things that people called strange.

It's 100 li from the road to the mountain, and 70 li from the water channel. That's why a man named Lianshu went there. It takes at least four days to cycle back and forth. The village was so remote that these things were great news, and the next day it was said that she was very ill, and that a special mission was set off; But in the fourth watch, he gave up. The last word was: "Why didn't you give me the duo for a while? ..."

The patriarch, the kinshu, the man from his grandmother's mother's family, the idle man, gathered a whole room, anticipating the arrival of Lianshu, it should be the time to lay the torchbearer in coffin. Longevity has been made, there is no need to plan; Their first problem was how to deal with this "load-bearing sun," who was expected to make new changes to all funeral rituals. After the discussion, they agreed on three conditions, which he must do. The first is to wear white, the second is to kneel down, the third is to invite monks and taoists to do things. In a word: nothing has changed.

After they had agreed on the issue, they agreed that on the day that the Duo got home, they would get together in front of the room, form a formation, counsel each other and make a very strict negotiation. The villagers all swallowed their saliva and listened to the news in wonder; They knew that Lianshu was the "new party" in the story of "Westernism". They never told the truth. The battle between the two sides would always start, or it would lead to an unexpected spectacle.

Legend has it that Lianshu got home in the afternoon. As soon as he entered the door, he just bent over in front of his grandmother's soul. The chieftain immediately proceeded with his plan, and summoned him to the great hall, where he began with a long discourse, and then to the point, and they quarrelled with each other, so that he had no chance of remonstrating. But at last the words were finished, and silence filled the room, and all looked closely at his mouth. The man in the Duo did not change his face and replied simply:

"It's all right."

It was quite out of their surprise that the weight was lifted from all their minds, but it seemed to increase in a way that made them feel so "strange" that it was something to worry about. People in the news-seeking village were also disappointed. Word of mouth spread, "Strange! He said 'all right'! Let's look!" There was nothing left to see, but they continued to see, and after dusk they were happily gathered together.

I also went to see one, first sent a incense; When I got to the man's house, I already saw that Lianshu was putting clothes on the deceased. He was a short, thin man, with a square face, half of which was shaggy hair and thick black eyebrows, and his eyes shining in the black air. He was dressed so well, so neatly, as if he were an expert in burial, that onlookers could not help admiring him. Hanshishan old rule, when these times, no matter what, the mother's parents are always picky; But he remained silent, changing whatever criticism he found, without moving his countenance. Standing in front of me, a gray-haired old lady made a sound of admiration.

Next is worship; The second is crying, all the women are muttering words. Next to the coffin; Next is worship; And wept again until the lid was nailed down. There was a moment of silence, and then a sudden disturbance, a great deal of surprise and dissatisfaction. I couldn't help but suddenly realize that in the Duo, there was never a drop of tears. I was just sitting on the pallet with my eyes flashing in the black air.

In this air of wonder and discontent the funeral was finished. Everyone was disgruntled and seemed to want to separate. But in the Duo, he was still sitting on the pallet in deep thought. Suddenly he began to cry, then lost his voice, and at once became a long howl, like a wounded Wolf howling in the wilderness in the middle of the night, with grief and anger mixed in. This was not customary, and had not been anticipated before. Everyone was at a loss. After some hesitation, a few people came forward to stop him. But he just sat and wailed, like the tower did not move.

They had to scatter joylessly; He wailed and wailed for about half a minute, then suddenly stopped, and, without addressing the visitor, went home. Then the snooper reported that he had gone into his grandmother's room, and lay down on his bed, and seemed to be fast asleep.

Two days later, the day before I was going to leave for the city, I heard people in the village had a magic-like opinion, saying that Lianshu was going to burn more than half of all the utensils to his grandmother, and the rest would be given to the woman in the duo who nursed him in life and died when he died, and even the house would be lent to her to live in forever. My relatives and family all said that I was speechless, but I could not stop them.

I am afraid it was mostly curiosity that led me to pass his door on my way home and stop by to console myself. He appeared in his white fur-trimmed coat with the same cold look. I was very consoling; But he answered only one sentence, in addition to being submissive. It was:

"Thank you very much for your kindness."

two

The third time we met was in the early winter of this year, in a bookshop in S City. We all nodded at the same time and finally met each other. But what brought us closer was after I lost my job at the end of the year. From then on, I visited Lianshu often. For one thing, boredom, of course; Second, because it was said that he was very close to the frustrated, though he was so cold. But when things go wrong, they don't go wrong. He saw me as soon as I threw my card. The two connected parlors were bare, except for bookshelves lined with tables and chairs, and though he was a terrible newish man, there were not many new books on them. He knew I had lost my job; But as soon as the routine was over, the host and guest had no choice but to talk to each other in silence, which gradually became dull. I saw him finish a cigarette quickly, the butt burning his fingers, before dropping it to the ground.

"Smoke." 'he said suddenly, as he reached for a second cigarette.

I took one and smoked it, talking about teaching and books, but it was still dull. Just as I was about to go, there was a noise and footsteps outside the door, and four boys and girls burst in. The older one was eight or nine years old, and the younger one was four or five years old. His hands, face and clothes were dirty and ugly. But in the eyes of Lianshu, there was a joyous light in the moment. He got up and walked to the room on the inner wall of the living room and said:

"Da Liang, Erliang, come! I have bought the harmonica you asked for yesterday."

The children rushed in with them, and in a moment they burst out again, each playing a harmonica, and as soon as they were out of the drawing-room door they were somehow fighting. One of them cried.

"One for each, all the same. Don't argue!" 'he continued after him.

"Who are all these children?" I asked.

"It belongs to the owner. None of them had a mother, only a grandmother."

"Is there only one landlord?"

"Yes. His wife had been dead for three or four years, and had not remarried. Otherwise, they won't rent their spare rooms to single people like me." 'he said, smiling coldly.

I wanted to ask him why he was still single, but I didn't know him very well.

As long as I know the Duo personally, I can have a conversation. He was very talkative and often rather cagey. It was irritating that some of his visitors, most likely those who had read Perturbed, would often call themselves "unhappy young men" or "outcasts," and huddle proudly and lazily in the great chairs like crabs, sighing and smoking with frowning eyes. And the children of the owner of the house, who were always quarrelling with each other, knocking over the dishes, demanding refreshments, and causing confusion. But the moment Lenduo saw them, they were not as cold as usual, seeing more precious than their own lives. I heard that once, Sanliang had erythematous fever, and was so anxious that the black gas on his face became blacker. The illness turned out to be mild, and was later made a laughing stock by the children's grandmother.

"Children are always good. They are all naive... " He also seemed to feel that I was a little impatient, one day took the opportunity to say to me.

"Not really." I was just answering him casually.

"No. Adults have bad temper, in the children are not. The evil that comes after, the evil that you attack, is taught by the environment. It was not so bad, naive... . I think China can hope, only in this point."

"No. If there are no bad roots in the baby, how can there be bad flowers and fruits when it grows up? A seed, for example, is able to produce these things when it grows because of an embryo containing branches, leaves, fruits and flowers. It is not gratuitous... " Because I had nothing to do, I was reading Buddhist sutras, just as gentlemen do when they leave the field. Of course, I do not understand the Buddhist doctrine, but I do not have the decency to say it arbitrarily.

However, in the Duo, he got angry and just looked at me. I could not guess whether he had nothing to say, or whether he did not care to argue. But when he saw him again, he showed the cold attitude he had not seen for a long time, and silently smoked two cigarettes. When he took a third, I had to run away.

It took three months for the hatred to die down. Partly because he had forgotten, and partly because he himself had been hated by the "innocent" child, he could be forgiven for my blasphemy. But that's just speculation on my part. It was the wine in my apartment, and he looked a little sorrowful, and half cocked his head and said:

"It's strange to think of it. When I came to you, I saw a little boy in the street. He took a reed leaf and pointed it at me, saying, Kill! He can't walk very well yet... "

"It was taught by the environment."

I immediately regretted my words. But he didn't seem to mind, drinking as much as he could, and smoking as much as he could in between.

"I forgot to ask you," I added, "why you are in such a mood to come to-day, since you are not very familiar with people? This is the first time you have come to me since we have known each other over a year."

"I was going to tell you that you mustn't visit me in my apartment for a few days. I've got a nasty big one and a nasty one in my apartment right now. They don't look like people! '

"One large and one small? Who is this?" I was surprised.

"It's my cousin and his little boy. Haha, my son is just like my father."

"Come up town to see you for fun?"

"No. He said he had come to consult me and would give the child to me."

"Oh! Adopted to you?" 'I cried.' Are you not married? '

"They know I won't marry. But it doesn't matter. They're actually gonna give me that little shack in the cold hills. I have nothing else, you know; As soon as you get your money, it's gone. This is the only shack. The work of their father and son's life is to drive out the old maid who is staying."

Indeed, the coldness of his words frightened me. But I consoled him by saying:

"I suppose your family is better than that. They're just a little more old-fashioned. For example, when you cried that year, they were all eager to surround you and try to persuade you... "

"After my father died, when I was crying because I had taken my house and wanted me to write a sign on my pen, they came around and tried to persuade me in the same way... " He looked up with his eyes, as if he wanted to read the scene in the air.

"Bottom line: it's all about the fact that you don't have kids. Why on earth have you never married?" I suddenly found the question of turning the rudder, which I had long wanted to ask, and felt that this was the best opportunity.

He looked at me in surprise, and after a while his eyes drifted to the condyles of his own knee, and he smoked without answering.

three

However, although in this boring situation, I still don't give in to the duo. Gradually, anonymous people attacked him in the tabloids, and there were often rumors about him in the academic world, but this was no longer just a rumor, probably to his detriment. I knew it was the result of his recent penchant for publishing, but I didn't mind. People in S-City don't want someone to give some unguarded comments. Once there is, they must sting him secretly. That's the way it's always been. But in the spring, I heard that he had been dismissed by the headmaster. This struck me as a little abrupt; In fact, this was always the case, but because I hoped that people I knew would be spared, I thought it was unusual. The people of S City were not particularly evil this time.

I was so busy with my own livelihood, and with my appointment as a teacher in Shanyang that autumn, that I had no time to call on him. When I got a little slack, it was almost three months from the time he was fired, but there was no intention to visit the duo. One day, I passed through the street and stopped in front of the old book stall, but I felt a sense of shock, because there was a Shu Yin (6) printed in Keguge on display, which was the same book in Lianshu. He liked books, but he was not a bibliophile, and he regarded them as valuable and rare, and would not sell them unless he had to. Had he been out of work for only two or three months? Though he had always dispersed as soon as he had money, he had nothing in store. So I decided to visit Lianshu and bought a bottle of Shu wine, two packages of peanuts and two smoked fish heads on the street.

His door was shut, and he called twice, but there was no answer. Suspecting that he was asleep, I cried louder and clapped my hand on the door.

"Get out!" The grandmother of the great masters, the fat, triangle-eyed woman, peeped out of the opposite window with her grizzled head, and cried impatiently.

"Where have they gone?" I asked.

"Where? Who knows? - where can he go, if you wait, he will come back soon."

I opened the door and went into his drawing-room. It was like three autumns without a single day to see you. You were desolate and empty. Not only were there few utensils left, but there were only a few books left, which no one in S Town would have wanted. The round table in the middle of the room, which had so often been surrounded by melancholy and generous youths, unmet talents, and dirty and noisy children, was still, covered only with a thin layer of dust. I'll put it on the table