LOLL

You laugh.

"Finally, we made it out of Lisino," you think to yourself, as you look around.

You're sitting in a cluttered interview room. On the walls, patriotic propaganda whispers and shouts the virtues of Lawrencia.

"Lawrencia! Land of Loving Liberty"

"Answer the call! The Lawrentine marches on!"

"The Cave is Empty, Love and Be Free!" printed boldly in front of an image of two overlapping circles.

You look down at the table in front of you. A form with mostly fine print and signature boxes at the bottom reads as follows:

"Greetings friend! The Cave is Empty!

Unfortunately for us and you, you are an unpermitted immigrant in the land of Lawrencia!

Fortunately for you, we are much more enlightened than our Lisinoan neighbors to the south.

Your options are to declare yourself an honored guest and pay a monthly tithe to the Church of the Empty Cave, or to apply for permanent residency.

Applicants for permanent residency are required to submit a detailed background of skills, interests, foibles, assets, quirks, original memes, and any other information deemed relevant."

You begin to turn the page, but your attention is drawn to the door opening, and a jolly bearded man walking into the room.

He beams at you and makes a gesture with his hands bent into circles, and placed together in front of his sternum.

"Greetings, friend! The cave is empty!"

"What?" you stammer. "What cave?"

He smiles and explains.

"Ahh, a first time visitor I see! The cave in which our King was laid to rest. In our land, when we are greeted with 'the cave is empty', it is customary and polite to respond with 'Love and be free!'"

"Uhh...yeah..." you respond. "Love and be free."

He slaps you on the shoulder, and adopts a suddenly serious tone.

"Have you prepared your tithe, or do you plan to apply for residency?" he asks.

You think for a moment.

"Uhh...I'd like to be a resident, but I need to speak with my wife. Am I free to go?"

He thinks for a moment.

"Am I free to go?" you ask again.

"Of course friend. Tithes are due on the first day of each month. We have copies of the Lawrencian calendar available in the lobby. Love and be free!"

You stand up and begin to walk out.

"Love and be free!" he repeats.

You turn around and say slowly, "The, uhh, cave is empty."