Litigation

“Hello?” 

“Hi Dad.” 

“What’s up?” 

“What's up? What's up. Dad, I’ve been trying to reach you for days.” 

“Ben, it’s not a big deal, I am completely fine. Safe and sound.”

“For all I knew, you could have been dead. I mean…what the fuck, man. Were you even going to tell me what happened?”

“What are you talking about? Nothing happened! I am fine. Ben. I’m. Fine.”

“Are you safe? I could tell from the dial tone that you’re not in the US.” 

“Yes.”

“Tom told me that two men from the island came to the hospital and took you straight to the airport. Dad, that’s so fucked, like something out of a spy thriller. Can you come home? We can figure things out, just–” 

“I told you, I’m fine. Nothing happened, and you don’t need to worry about me. Stop getting your underwear in a bunch.” 

“So it’s not true then?”

“What do you mean?”

“Please don’t do this. I know you know what I’m talking about.” 

“The doctors cleared me to leave, and besides, I’m a grown man who can take care of himself.”

“But why were you in the hospital in the first place, Dad?”

“It was just a misunderstanding. I was feeling a little off, that's all. Everyone's blowing this way out of proportion.” 

“If that were true, why would Ella call me to tell me that the police took you to the hospital?” 

“...” 

“She said you left the kids alone at the house and went to Rookies.” 

“...”

“And when you got back, you were screaming and tearing apart the house looking for intruders.” 

“I was trying to protect my family!  I thought someone had broken into the house!” 

“Is that why you had a gun?”

“I didn’t…”

“Did you think the intruders were hiding in the kids’ stuffed animals?” 

“No, that’s ridiculous!”

“Then why would you rip them apart in front of them?” 

“Who on earth told you that?” 

“Your neighbor called the cops.”

“That asshole, always in my business.”

“Dad. If you’ve relapsed, it’s okay. All the data suggests that nobody–”

“I didn’t relapse.”

“So all of this happened and you were one hundred percent sober for it?” 

“I can still go out and enjoy my life, you know. Do you want me to just sit in my house all alone all winter long? I can’t believe you tried to send me to the loony bin for this!  Over nothing!”

“Nothing? Dad, you were hallucinating with a loaded gun in your hand! And rehab isn’t the loony bin, for fuck’s sake.”

“Well I’m just thankful that in Iowa we respect personal responsibility.”

“Ugh, Dad. You promised me last time that we’d go straight back to rehab, no questions asked, if it happened again. I had no choice!” 

“Well that was different. When it comes time for that I’ll let you know.”

“I tortured myself for days trying to decide if I should get on a plane in the middle of a fucking global pandemic to drag you there myself.” 

“Ben, honestly, I’m fine. I’ve been doing my virtual counseling every week and journaling, let me do this my way.”

“I can’t believe I didn’t buy the flight.”  

“Listen, I’m sorry I didn’t pick up when you called, you know how bad service can be on the island.”

“No, I don’t.” 

“...”

“I really need a dad, you know. And it’s been really, really nice to have one again for the last year after eight years without one.”

“I’ve always been your dad, Ben.”

“Do you remember what I said to you in the letter that I sent for your intervention?” 

“Of course. It’s in the drawer in my nightstand.”

“What did I say? At the end?” 

“You, um, uh…said a lot of things. What does any of that have to do with–”

“I said that as long as you were doing the work to stay sober that I would be right by your side. Every step of the way.”  

“And I did!”

“But if you chose not to–”

“I’m not choosing anything!”

“I would have to step away again.” 

“...” 

“Those eight years…they sucked, Dad. I know it sounds fucked up to say, but this…this is worse.”

“You were the one that left me in the dust, remember? You just moved out West and just forgot about your old man.”

“Do you even remember when I called you after I had to put Royal down?  It was right before Christmas–” 

“I know, bud, when I had to put Boots down–”

“I was a complete mess. I had nobody else to call. And when you picked up the phone, I could tell you were wasted within thirty seconds! You couldn’t even focus long enough to know it was me on the line!”

“You know, you’re not so easy to deal with all the time either.” 

“What?” 

“You think I want to have to constantly listen to your bitching about everything? It’s pathetic. But I do it anyway.” 

“This…ugh…this isn’t going anywhere, Dad.” 

“Sure, so you get to share what you feel about me, but I don’t get the same respect from you? Why even bother calling?” 

“Listen, I just…don’t want the next time you go to the hospital to be the time you don’t come out.” 

“Then don’t worry about it.” 

“I love you, Dad.” 

“I love you too, bud.”

“I’m going to let you go now.”

“Okay. Bye, bud.”