Like Letters Written in the Sand Part Three

“I’m not going to lie, I’m more than a little nervous about going home today. What if I’m not ready?” She looked at Clarence with pleading eyes. She knew he couldn’t give her all the answers, but he could give her the encouragement she need.

“Anna-leis, if you weren’t ready they wouldn’t let you go home.” Clarence said, holding her hand, squeezing it gently. She was grateful not to be alone, but she would have to face being alone tonight, and it kind of scared her. She and Clarence weren’t married yet, there would be no living together until they were married, they had both agreed on that. But she struggled with the idea of being alone.

She wrapped a blanket, around herself, self-conscious about the ampitations, about the way she thought she looked. But all Clarence saw was Anna-leis radiant beauty.

Why was she blind to her own beauty?

“Anna-leis you are the strongest most beautiful woman, I know, the woman I am going to marry. I know you can do this.” Clarence kissed her on the top of her head, as he helped her pack up her belongings, he would be driving her home, no way would he let her call an uber, not after all she had been through. And he wasn’t going to let her risk infection.

“You don’t have to bring me home. You have already done so much.”

“Anna-leis I want to do these things for you. I love you its not about having to, it’s about wanting too.”

“I just want to do things for myself, but right now I have to figure out how that looks.”

“I’m not good at depending on others.” Anna-leis said gently. “It’s different with you Clarence, but it still isn’t easy.”

“I’ve known that about you for a long time.” Clarence said gently. “But sometimes we all need help, and that’s okay.”

“I just never imagined something like this would happen, I never imagined I would become a double amputee.”

“I know Anna-leis and I wish that I could have stopped you from getting hurt.”

Anna-leis reached for Clarence’s hand. “I know you would have protected me if you could, but this wasn’t something you could have protect me from, no one could have.”

“I just want you to be okay Anna-leis, and I want you to know that when you aren’t I will be here for you.”

Clarence grabbed the box of cards, and little knick knacks Anna-leis had accumulated while in the hospital. And the roll on suitcase he had bought her to put her clothes in. A suitcase he would take out for her, she carried on her lap, a stack of papers that she would have to fill out for outpatient therapy, something that she knew she needed to grow stronger, no amount of physical therapy would give Anna-leis her legs back, but she would do all she could do to remain strong and independent.

“I’m as ready as I am going to be.” Anna-leis said, as they left the hospital room that had been her home for the last three weeks, a week of that time had been spent in a drug induced coma. She woke up a week later to the news that they had to amputate both of her legs, above the knee.

Anna-leis looked down at the blanket covering her lamp, the empty space where her legs had once been, unable to stop the silent tears, from flowing down her cheeks.

“You’ve been holding that in for far to long.” Clarence said gently, looking at the woman he loved, her tear stained cheeks. He wiped the tears gently from her face as he helped her into his car, gently folding the wheelchair and placing it neatly on the back seat.

Anna-leis lay her head back on the headrest, as she settled into the front passenger seat.

“I’m staying until I know you are okay.” Clarence said gently, as they pulled into her driveway. “You don’t need to be alone now.”

Anna-leis didn’t argue, she didn’t want to be alone right now. She needed Clarence there with her.

“I’m sorry.” Anna-leis said.

“You have nothing to be sorry about Anna-leis. You need to grieve.”

She nodded, as they pulled into the driveway of her home. A home she hadn’t seen in three weeks, she remembered the last time she walked out the door, she couldn’t have known then, that what was supposed to be a simple trip to the grocery store, and to the home imp store, so she could get the new massaging shower head she had, had her eyes on, a shower head that never got installed, instead a shower chair sat in her bath/shower combo, she wouldn’t be able to hide her surgical scars, nor the amputations by covering herself with a blanket. She was going to have to face reality as hard as it was.

“There’s a small in-law cordiors, a shed that was converted and has everything you need, I’d like you to stay there at least for tonight. You wouldn’t be staying with me, but you’d be close, and I need someobe close.”

“Of course I’ll stay in the in-law corridors, I don’t want to be far, in case you need me.”

Anna-leis nodded, grateful for Clarence, for the way he stood by her side.

To Be Continued…“I’m not good at depending on others.” Anna-leis said gently. “It’s different with you Clarence, but it still isn’t easy.”

“I’ve known that about you for a long time.” Clarence said gently. “But sometimes we all need help, and that’s okay.”

“I just never imagined something like this would happen, I never imagined I would become a double amputee.”

“I know Anna-leis and I wish that I could have stopped you from getting hurt.”

Anna-leis reached for Clarence’s hand. “I know you would have protected me if you could, but this wasn’t something you could have protect me from, no one could have.”

“I just want you to be okay Anna-leis, and I want you to know that when you aren’t I will be here for you.”

Clarence grabbed the box of cards, and little knick knacks Anna-leis had accumulated while in the hospital. And the roll on suitcase he had bought her to put her clothes in. A suitcase he would take out for her, she carried on her lap, a stack of papers that she would have to fill out for outpatient therapy, something that she knew she needed to grow stronger, no amount of physical therapy would give Anna-leis her legs back, but she would do all she could do to remain strong and independent.

“I’m as ready as I am going to be.” Anna-leis said, as they left the hospital room that had been her home for the last three weeks, a week of that time had been spent in a drug induced coma. She woke up a week later to the news that they had to amputate both of her legs, above the knee.

Anna-leis looked down at the blanket covering her lamp, the empty space where her legs had once been, unable to stop the silent tears, from flowing down her cheeks.

“You’ve been holding that in for far to long.” Clarence said gently, looking at the woman he loved, her tear stained cheeks. He wiped the tears gently from her face as he helped her into his car, gently folding the wheelchair and placing it neatly on the back seat.

Anna-leis lay her head back on the headrest, as she settled into the front passenger seat.

“I’m staying until I know you are okay.” Clarence said gently, as they pulled into her driveway. “You don’t need to be alone now.”

Anna-leis didn’t argue, she didn’t want to be alone right now. She needed Clarence there with her.

“I’m sorry.” Anna-leis said.

“You have nothing to be sorry about Anna-leis. You need to grieve.”

She nodded, as they pulled into the driveway of her home. A home she hadn’t seen in three weeks, she remembered the last time she walked out the door, she couldn’t have known then, that what was supposed to be a simple trip to the grocery store, and to the home imp store, so she could get the new massaging shower head she had, had her eyes on, a shower head that never got installed, instead a shower chair sat in her bath/shower combo, she wouldn’t be able to hide her surgical scars, nor the amputations by covering herself with a blanket. She was going to have to face reality as hard as it was.

“There’s a small in-law cordiors, a shed that was converted and has everything you need, I’d like you to stay there at least for tonight. You wouldn’t be staying with me, but you’d be close, and I need someobe close.”

“Of course I’ll stay in the in-law corridors, I don’t want to be far, in case you need me.”

Anna-leis nodded, grateful for Clarence, for the way he stood by her side.

To Be Continued…