Letters Ever Ours

My love, my beloved moon,

In your gardens of light and loss and love, may no harm or ruin or plight find us. May we prosper in all the best ways, and see only with the best of eyes. I write these very words on storied letters in hope that you might return to me. I kneel in prayer, in devotion, in steadfast need for your words to reach me. Please know that quietly, deliberately, without hesitation or patience, my words are a vow to you I pray to keep. Above all others, above all else, these words are the end, the beginning, the truth and the summit. I keep you sacred, and with reverence. Always.

I want my love to you, our love to be the vow, the gospel, the word. Not something fragile to be toyed with, or placated, or watered down and washed away. I want no whim or tickle, or fancy to catch your eye. I want you to swear to me in shadows, in front of all others, that your promises to me will not fade or lessen with time. I want to spend every bit of eternity, and not waste a single second. I will not wander, seeking redemption for how I feel or think or want. I will remain, willingly, where your heart has taken hold.

I will stay when the world withers from its sun, time sharpens younger minds and our memories fade from light. You will still find me at your side, at your back, at your wait. Our home and kids and love revered. Our love placed above all others in stark resolve, as ritual, as something holier than the air we breath and the curses we mutter. I have told you a hundred times, over thousands of days that our love is endless and undying. There is no substitute or passing mercy. There is not, or ever will be anyone else for me.

For I am yours without end, I will not shy away or hide you. I first saw you in the shadow of daylight, before your name ever held weight on my heart. Before your eyes ever sought me out. Before your smile revived my soul. We are cosmic stars made of golden dusted jewels. We are the church bells and sonnets breaking the quiet storm. We did not announce our love, instead, we forged it quietly, in stolen glances and wistful kisses. In a life that started the beginning of many lifetimes. We spoke and wished and wanted for all the ordinary things, and yet, somewhere in between everything unspoken, we grew to be much deeper. A devotion so ingrained everything else felt like cheating. Like anyone else’s lips were death. Anyone else’s touch was wrong. Anyone else’s needs were salt.

Your words, your presence brings to me a quiet peace I long to keep. I don’t beg for affection, I beg for the right to remain, to build, to have you as my own, always and forever. I will spend every second of every day in that honor, proving you worthy of the life you deserve, the life you entrust to me, as mine. I will live it as my own and together we will have whatever may come. So that, if sorrow, or hardship, or misery follow, if desire, or lust, or lack-there-of begin to settle—I will banish them all. I will not hesitate. I will stand between them, holding you close, whether you are in that space or not. You are mine, in ways no other could ever be.

I will build you gardens, and bookshelves, and let our life grow in between the petals and pages. So that the roses and peonies and lilacs bloom in blushing glory—for they too understand our deepest desires, and undying devotions. They spawn out of that same grit, that same grace, that same earth and grow into something not even the gods could fathom to end.

For it is I who vows to love you in all the old ways, without condition or hesitation or proof of requirement. I love you forever, I love you in ways words cannot express. I want to hold you in happiness and sorrow, hand-in-hand until the last of our beings exist. I vow to remain with you even when life is distant, cold and dark. I vow to you, even if no others ever hear our words, that our kisses and our prayers will be answered, and our love will be the light and the way.

So that when you look out over our many gardens, you will always see me, in every season of bloom. Wild, faithful and still filled with undying love. Even long after we are gone. My love will not fade, or falter, or wander. It will not seek shelter in another. It will remain yours, steady, with you, unyielding.

My love for you always,

John