Let the rage wash over me

Let the rage wash over me. Kelsey told herself as she clenched her fists together. She was sat bolt upright in the fancy office chair. The room was dimly lit and filled with books. It looked more like a library than an office. The books were old, expensive and vintage. The desk in front of her was cluttered with trinkets haphazardly strewn about. The only modern piece of equipment was the PC, but even that looked dated. The only thing that caught Kelsey's attention was a small statue of a bull. It sat on the corner of the desk bronze and shiny. The bull looked fierce and full of rage. That was exactly how Kelsey was feeling right now.

The door opened, in he came. An aged man, slim and handsome. His hair was brown, but with some grey to it. Kelsey didn't twist her head to meet his gaze she just carried on staring at the bull statue and telling herself to be 'calm'. He did not open his mouth, but she could feel his eyes staring into the back of her. He took his seat opposite her and took a moment to get himself comfortable. There was a long silence. Both wondering if they should speak first. Words should have been free-flowing as after all, they were man and wife, but still, neither of them had the right words. The clock on the wall counited to tick. The silence was grating neither wanted to crack or to cave. Finally, it was Kelsey who spoke first.

"So, is it true?" she cut through the silence. At first, he didn't respond. He just looked at her. Eighteen years of marriage had led to this. It always leads to this.

"Yes, it's true" he finally responded. Hearing it from him should have shocked Kelsey, but it didn't. She thought hearing it from him would make her feel different, but it didn't. She was still mad, still so, very mad.

"How many times?" she asked as the question just popped into her head.

"I don't know? It's only been going on for the last few years" he said in a matter of fact sort of way. The words cut into her, tearing at her heart.

"You've been fucking her for two years?" she said calmer than she expected. He didn't respond. He looked ashamed. His face appeared sad and his body language timid. She realised just like his office she knew nothing about him, not really.

"I'm sorry ..." he said limply and looking about the room. He wanted to say a lot more and explain himself Kelsey sensed it.

"I do love you.... it was just something that happened. you know?" he continued. Kelsey would never fully understand. She didn't fully believe it at first when her brother had told her about it. She was in denial. Even now hearing the words she couldn't believe it to be true.

Kelsey looked around the room at the many books. So many pages to read. All alien to her. She would never read the words and understand their secrets. So many secrets. Just like these books her husband had so much hidden from her. This was his world, a world that Kelsey never knew. Her world was crashing down. Her happily ever after was turning into a horror novel.

"I'll break it off. You know that I will." The man said trying to reassure her Kelsey had briefly forgotten he was in the room. She looked into his eyes. He was aged, but he was still so handsome she thought. Over the years they had many good times and some bad times. Mostly good times.

She leaned forward on the desk and looked into his gaze. Craftily she picked up the bull ornament with her right hand and brought it down into her lap without him noticing. She felt its coldness. She felt its rage. Nothing would ever be the same.