Last Word

The feelings of heartbreak will make you feel like a hole has been drilled into you. The shock, the emptiness, it can really take its toll.

I sat down on my couch with a pint of mint chocolate chip ice cream, hot tears still streaming down my face. My ex had returned to his first girlfriend, and this was not the first time this has happened. I really don’t know what is so wrong with me that I always end up being a second choice. My heart hurts, I haven’t been able to sleep for days, and my head aches from how much I’ve been crying. I jumped at the door being knocked, I pulled up my hair and wiped my tears the best I could.

“What the actual hell are you doing here?” I said as soon as the door opened. My ex gave me a slightly embarrassed smile.

“Can we please talk, you know we were great friends before we started dating,” he said.

“Give me one good reason to! You broke up with me out of the blue because your ex got out of a relationship! I was just a placeholder to you! How could you say you want to talk?”

“Because I want to make sure you’re okay! You still are important to me,” he said, reaching out to squeeze my arm. I swatted him away, and a burning fury overcame me.

“You don't get to know if I’m okay. You lost that right the second you broke up with me. I am tired of how many times I was always used as a backup, a second choice. I was never important enough for someone to chase after me. I was on a list of people to choose from. Do you know how horrible that is? Looking back on our relationship, I was not your priority! I was second to your friends. I don’t have anything to say to you anymore, now leave.” I slammed the door and my lip quivered as I tried to silence my sobs. I threw myself onto the couch and cried until I passed out.