Last Call for Goldilocks

The most quaint home in the forest teased me, rising up as I wandered the woods behind my backyard. It was cozy and cottage-like, looking like it ought to smell like fresh blueberry pie. I watched it from a distance, crouched behind a staggered tree stump that I could feel through my pink velcro slippers. My golden hair shimmered in the sunrays sifting through the giant trees.

The front door opened with a gust. A deep-throated laugh filled the air as a large, bipedal bear with a great belly waltzed out of the home. Behind him chased a tiny bear, no bigger than me, tugging on the leg fur of the larger beast. Lastly, a thinner bear wearing a bonnet followed, holding a basket of bright red apples before clicking the door shut.

"I love picnic pond day!" the tiny bear squealed, and the father let out a jolly laugh.

"Us, too," he agreed. They turned left, heading in the direction of what I assumed was a pond, though I had no memory of a body of water out here. How far did I wander?

I crept closer, watching them recede. As soon as their bodies became silhouettes, and their silhouettes faded to shadows, I darted up to the side window and peered inside. Empty.

I scurried to the front entrance and turned the knob, shocked when it yielded without a fight. The door swung inward and I hesitated, casting one last glance over my shoulder. Still no sign of the bear family.

I stepped inside, stumbling into a humble living room anchored by a simple wooden dining table. On the table sat three bowls of porridge, and my stomach growled on cue.

Who leaves three full bowls of porridge sitting out? I thought, taking it as an open invitation. I grabbed the spoon resting in the blue bowl, scooped a bite, and shoved it into my mouth.

"Ah!" I gasped, swallowing hard. I coughed, ran to the sink, and drank straight from the bendy faucet. "Too hot!"

I tried the pink bowl next. I grimaced and forced myself to swallow. "Too cold."

Lastly, I tried the pastel yellow bowl. "Mmmm!" I gasped, scraping up every last bite. "Just right!"

Full and heavy, all I wanted was to sit down and relax. The living room offered three chairs.

I went for the blue one first, sitting down quickly only to feel a sharp jab against my tailbone. "Ow! Too hard."

The pink one looked cushy, but the moment I sat down, I sank so deep my knees hit my chest. "Too soft..."

The pastel yellow chair was next. The second I sat down, my shoulders dropped. "Ah! Just right." I made myself comfortable, yawning as my eyelids grew heavy.

Suddenly, a sharp crack echoed beneath me. The seat gave way, and I crashed through the bottom, landing hard on the dusty floorboards. I scrambled out of the broken wood, rubbing my lower back.

Running out of seating options, I wandered into the back hallway to check out the rest of the cottage. One bedroom held three beds. Naturally, I tried the blue one first, but the pillows were wedged tightly against the headboard, forcing me to sit awkwardly upright. The pink one wasn't much better—the pillows were bunched at the foot, elevating my legs at a ridiculous angle.

Then I saw the pastel yellow bed. It appeared perfectly flat, plush, and inviting.

"Alright! You caught a fish!" a young voice piped up from outside.

Startled, I scrambled to the small circular window. The three bears were already emerging from the tree line, heading straight back toward the cottage.

"Okay, Goldilocks. Last call..." I whispered to myself, my heart hammering against my ribs. "Do I run for it, or do I try out this heavenly bed?"

The open window offered cool forest air and the invitation for immediate freedom. But my eyes darted back to the quilt, and the sheer temptation paralyzed my better judgment.

"Just five seconds..." I breathed.

I threw myself onto the mattress. It felt like sinking into a cloud. "Worth it," I mumbled sleepily, the world going dark before I could even pull up the sheet.

...

"Mama! Mama!"

A faint voice pulled me out of the abyss. As my eyes fluttered open, panic seized me as I remembered where I was.

I tried to sit up, but my arms wouldn't move. The blanket was wrapped around me like a vise, pinning my arms flat against my sides. I writhed and strained, but my muscles refused to respond. I was completely trapped. Completely paralyzed.

"I caught one! I caught a human!" the child's voice squealed from the hallway.

My eyes went wide.

"That's great, sweetie! Your first catch. I'll start preheating the oven, and we'll enjoy a feast tonight," a maternal voice called back from the kitchen. An excited squeal from the child filled the room.

The bedroom door creaked open, and the tiny creature stepped into the room. As I stared at its face, the illusion shattered.

It was never a bear. It was something entirely different: elongated, covered in graying skin, and smiling with too many teeth.

I screamed.

If you enjoyed, see here for my Hansel & Gretel retelling: