Last Bloom in May

Every night at midnight, the purple clouds came out to dance with the blushing sky. As soon as dawn would break, they would blend into horizon as a new day awakened.

I know because I was there. I watched and waited for the rain of April to retreat so that the season when our village becomes whole again could begin. As soon as the first bloom of the lilac trees on the Pax Family Farm appeared we would all smile with anticipation. Our loved ones would appear. The void of all the months apart would be filled.

Yes, I’ve caught glimpses of my daughters Savannah and Joline when they stopped to buy fresh fruit or looked at a garden. I could hear my grandson, Kyle, and my son in-law Phil as they laughed playing in the ocean waves or smell the scent when my sister Rita baked her famous zucchini bread, but they have moved on from this life. Yet during May, that is when we see them by way of the lilac buds. Once the perfumed scent of the colorful flower reaches the atmosphere, the purple clouds remain on the horizon letting their light shine. We connect as no other time since our loved one's flames relocated.

“It is almost time!” I yell for my husband Mel, “I do not want to be late this year! Bring the ambrosia I made, some cookies, yes fruit too!” I remind him as I gather up my tomato soup that Savannah loves. I know she will have coffee for us.

“I hope we can get the bench by the bridge. That jackass, George better not sit his butt there the whole time like he did last year!" Mel yelled back as he gathered up my daughter’s pup Finn who has been staying with us.

“Do not start about the bench again! George wants to see his family too. If we get there early enough, you’ll have plenty of time to watch the river and talk about the Red Sox with Kyle and Phil.” I also packed up some of the pictures from days long ago so we could reminisce. “We have to pick up my parents and my sister, Joan too,” I shouted as I helped Mel load Finn into the station wagon.

When we finally turned the corner to the Pax Family Farm the cars were already starting to fill up any of the available spaces. There was music and so many smells. Everything from baked goods to an array of floral scents. We did get over to the bench where Mel could sit. My daughters were already waiting, and Rita held out her arms around them. We danced, we sang and played with Finn. Kyle, Phil talked sports as Mel listened. My sisters caught up on the latest town affairs. My mom gave Savannah some guidance about when to plant her sunflowers.

We breathed in the lilacs that glowed from the radiant amethyst light. The days transcended around us as the buds continued to bloom. More people from the village joined and more food was passed around. We slept under the stars, and I watched as Savannah held Finn close. I held Mel’s hand as we had made it another year.

We knew it was only temporary yet when the first bud on the lilac bush became dry and we saw the last of the bloom, it still caused the same sharp shooting pain as before. They would leave again. We tried not to look as the blooms continued to fade and the purple hues along with flowery aroma slipped away. We hugged as we departed and held Finn close. I could hear their echoes as if songs in my heart. I turned to Mel as he patted Finn who barked a goodbye and a wave with his paw.

Phil packed up the campsite at the Gateway Campground which was on the old Pax Family Farm. Rita helped Kyle to the car. Savannah and Joline wiped tears from their eyes as they left the camp holding the last of bunch of lilacs to bring home. Savannah finally spoke.

“Every year when we come out here it is like I can feel their presence, like they never passed. It is like we aren’t left behind. I swear I heard Finn’s bark too.” Joline nodded in agreement as they both smiled through tears. They joined arms and planned the trip for next year as they walked out to the car.

This story is dedicated to all who have lost some one that they are still longing to see for one last lunch or camping trip or maybe to pick lilacs. For me that is especially my own mom and dad, Adrienne and Mal who I know will take care of my pup, Freedom, who was recently diagnosed with cancer and is living his best last days. My comforting thought is that my parents, grandparents, in-laws, aunts and uncles, nephew, cousins and friends who have all moved on to the other side of life will be there to watch over him.