Jean of the Joneses Theatrical Adaptation Version

This script is based on 2016 Independent film written and directed by Stella Meghie. This time I wrote the film in theatrical stage adaptation but this is a sample. I DO NOT OWN THE COPYRIGHT OF THE SCRIPT OR FILM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! So Hopefully I will put it on stage if I get the permission.

Cast of Characters

Jean Jones: a 25-year-old aspiring writer going through separation with her boyfriend Jeremiah, homelessness, and dates Ray, an EMT even though she has a boyfriend.

Daphne Jones: Jean’s Grandmother. She has a Jamaican accent.

Maureen Jones: Jean’s widowed mother.

Anne Jones: Jean’s pot smoking aunt who works in a nursing field finds out she is pregnant by a married white doctor she's been having an affair with.

Janet Jones: Jean’s aunt. She has a career as a life coach, two daughters: Mary and Lisa and dealing with separation from her husband Michael.

Laura Simmons: Jean’s newly discovered aunt. Maureen, Anne, and Janet’s half-sister.

Ray: a handsome EMT who starts to date Jean. He is studying to be a nurse at NYU.

Mary Jones (10-11): Jean’s oldest cousin.

Lisa Jones (5): Jean’s youngest cousin.

Gordon Jones: Jean’s newly discovered grandfather. He visits Daphne until he dies in the first scene of the play.

Michael: Janet’s estranged husband.

2 extra actors to play as EMTs and Morticians.

ACT ONE SCENE ONE

SETTING: Daphne’s House

AT RISE: Jazz music playing. Jean Jones is carrying two boxes with a duffel bag on her side. She puts her stuff down.

JEAN Well, that’s everything.

(JEAN knocks on the door, then rings the bell. No one answers. She searched through her pockets.)

JEAN Dammit I don’t have the key. (realized) Shit I never had the key.

(JEAN goes through her pockets again and pulls out her cigarette and a lighter. Lights the cig and starts to smoke.)

JEAN It’s no big deal! It's just temporary! Just taking some distance. Calibrating. No big deal. Hmmm.

(She blows another smoke. ANNE dressed in her nurse attire enters.)

ANNE Jean?

JEAN Hey Aunt Anne!

ANNE Girl, what are you doing here?

JEAN Nothing. Just waiting on Grandma to come home.

ANNE You don’t have the key?

JEAN I don’t live here. Do you?

ANNE I have my own place. Remember?

JEAN Yeah where you kick me out at. Remember?

(ANNE menacingly stares at JEAN.)

JEAN What?

ANNE Nothing.

JEAN You’re ticking.

ANNE I’m not.

JEAN Yes you are.

ANNE How’s Jeremiah?

JEAN He’s fine.

ANNE Hmmm. Is that your story?

JEAN Yes.

ANNE Okay.

(ANNE looks around to check if someone is coming.)

ANNE Since your grandmothers not here.

(ANNE goes in her purse.)

JEAN What are you doing?

ANNE You’re old enough to know.

(ANNE pulls out weed out of her purse. She lights it and starts smoke.)

JEAN Oh my God!

ANNE What? I don’t do it all the time. And when I do it, I do it in my car. But since my convert is broken, I have no option but do it here.

(JEAN shakes her head, ditches her cig. ANNE hands her weed.)

JEAN Don’t mind if I do.

(JEAN starts to smoke weed.)

JEAN I guess drug tests aren’t mandatory.

ANNE We administer them, we don’t take them.

(JEAN gives weed back to ANNE.)

ANNE Besides, hospital would be cleared out. Half of the staff are prescription addicts.

(ANNE blows a smoke.)

JEAN Should I ask?

ANNE What is it?

JEAN Can I stay with you for a while?

ANNE Oh hell no!

JEAN Come on Anne.

ANNE I thought you said you were okay.

JEAN I am. It’s just...Me and Jeremiah are taking some days off.

ANNE I thought couples were supposed to take vacations together?

JEAN We’re on a pause. It’s just a couple of days.

(ANNE scoffs and continues to smoke. JEAN takes the weed.)

ANNE No way! You can stay at Daphne’s. Just ask her if you want to stay at her place.

JEAN Fine. I’ll ask Grandma. Since you wouldn’t let me stay at your place.

(JEAN blows a smoke.)

JEAN Oh God, I’m the embodiment of a stereotype.

ANNE Well, I can’t face them sober.

JEAN They’re not nice people.

(JEAN hands the weed back to ANNE.)

ANNE No, they’re not.

(JEAN chuckles.)

JEAN Isn't that Grandma coming this way?

ANNE Oh shit! It is. (hands Jean the weed) Here! Put this out for me.

(JEAN tries to put it out. ANNE tries to blow and fan the smoke.)

ANNE Hurry! Quickly!

JEAN I’m trying!

ANNE Just hurry up! She’s coming!

JEAN (blowing the air) Damn smoke!

ANNE Let's ignore her.

JEAN No we can’t ignore her.

(DAPHNE enters glancing at JEAN and ANNE.)

JEAN Hey Grandma.

ANNE Hey Mom.

DAPHNE (suspicious) Why are you two standing outside of my house like common criminals?

JEAN I don’t have the key.

(ANNE and JEAN start to cough. DAPHNE takes a whiff at JEAN.)

DAPHNE Jean?

JEAN Hmmm.

DAPHNE Why do you smell like reefer?

JEAN Oh, that’s, uh, um, my body spray I’m wearing. Yeah, that’s why it smells like that. You ever heard of hemp oil?

(JEAN starts to chuckle. So does ANNE.)

DAPHNE Are you high Jean?

JEAN You’re good Grandma.

(JEAN chuckles.)

DAPHNE Both of you are liars and drug addicts.

ANNE Nice to see you too Mom!

(JEAN and ANNE both laugh.)

DAPHNE (to Anne) Are you becoming a drug fiend now?

ANNE Oh my God! Mom, it’s marijuana. Not heroin.

(JEAN coughs then chuckles.)

DAPHNE You two are a bad influence on each other.

ANNE You think?

(DAPHNE sucks her teeth. JEAN and ANNE both started to laugh.)

DAPHNE Whose stuff are these?

JEAN Mine.

DAPHNE Why?

JEAN I need to place to stay. Just temporary.

DAPHNE Why can't you stay at Anne's place?

ANNE Oh nonono! Not again Mom!

DAPHNE Fine. Might as well. Just for a while.

JEAN Thank you, Grandma.

DAPHNE Just as long you don’t smoke reefer in my house.

JEAN Fine.

(DAPHNE use her key to open the door. Door opens. JEAN grabs her stuff. They enter in the house.)

DAPHNE Put your things over there. I'll figure out where you’re going to put them.

(JEAN puts her things at CENTER STAGE. They enter in the kitchen. ANNE sees pots on the stove, opens the lid of the pot and takes a whiff.)

ANNE Oh, Momma made food already!

DAPHNE Ah not yet Anne! I had to stop at the store to get some spices and curry.

(DAPHNE turns on the stove.)

ANNE Damn ma don’t you have something for me to snack on before I starve myself to death.

(JEAN goes in the cabinet to find crackers.)

JEAN Found some crackers.

ANNE Gimme!

(ANNE takes it and eat the crackers.)

JEAN Damn Anne chill.

(DAPHNE glance at JEAN.)

DAPHNE You don’t look right.

JEAN What do I look like?

DAPHNE Like a Spindrift. It’s not nice.

JEAN I don’t look like a spindrift. I don’t even know what a spindrift is.

DAPHNE Pull your socks up.

(JEAN pulls up her socks.)

DAPHNE Aren’t you supposed to be some sort of a big shot. A writer?

JEAN I’m a multicultural wonder guide according to the New Yorker.

DAPHNE nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnYou shouldn’t believe what other people say about you. Your man so big he can’t come to dinner?

(JEAN says nothing. MAUREEN enters.)

ANNE Hey Maureen.

MAUREEN Hey.

JEAN Hi Mom.

MAUREEN Why do you look like that?

JEAN I swear everyone’s got commentary, I’m fine.

MAUREEN I’m talking about that turban.

JEAN What’s wrong with it? Andre Leon Talley wears one. Rest his soul.

DAPHNE You pregnant?

MAUREEN, JEAN & ANNE No.

MAUREEN Oh Mommy.

(JEAN grabs a bottle of wine and a wine glass.)

DAPHNE Well if I don’t ask, who will? I mean, you know...So many babies in the trash. Children are a drain but better alive than dead.

JEAN Maybe I should have a kid.

(JEAN takes a sip of wine.)

JEAN When people ask me what I did all day, I could tell them I swung by the Montessori. People respect those kinds of activities.

MAUREEN You’re really not very smart, are you?

DAPHNE (to Jean) Do you want kids?

JEAN Yeah. Mhmm.

DAPHNE He asked you to get married?

JEAN (sips wine) We talked about it.

(ANNE chuckles.)

MAUREEN I don’t know what kind mother you’d make. You know you are always rude and badly dressed.

(JEAN looks down at her outfit.)

MAUREEN You sneak in extra clothes in your backpack in kindergarten, and then you come home mismatched like a motherless child.

ANNE You know I basically raised her.

MAUREEN And who raised you?

ANNE I raised myself.

JEAN You’re the youngest, you’re supposed to feel special.

DAPHNE No one’s special.

JEAN I’m certainly not.

(JEAN sips her wine.)

MAUREEN And always trying to get sympathy.

ANNE When are we going to eat, I’m starving.

MAUREEN Can’t you ever change?

ANNE It’s been lost.

DAPHNE Call Janet!

(MAUREEN takes her phone out.)

MAUREEN I’m calling her now.

(ANNE tries to open lid from pot. DAPHNE smacks ANNE on the hand.)

ANNE Ow! If we wait on Janet and her husband and whole trailer load of kids, we’re gonna be waiting all night.

JEAN Two counts as a trailer load?

ANNE Don’t talk back.

(JANET and her daughters: MARY and LISA enter.)

JANET We’re here.

(They enter the kitchen. JANET grabs a glass and pours whiskey in her glass.)

ANNE (happy) Oh great they’re here!

MAUREEN Hey girls!

MARY & LISA Hi Auntie Maureen!

(MARY and LISA hug Maureen and hi five JEAN.)

JEAN What’s up girls.

MARY & LISA Hi Grandma!

(Girls hug DAPHNE.)

DAPHNE Aw look at you!

(JANET grabs a glass and pours some whiskey from the counter.)

JANET Hey! What’s going on everybody?

(JANET greets and hugs everybody.)

JANET All right you girls go be good go wash up and watch TV until dinner is ready.

DAPHNE You did drive here, correct?

JANET It’s just one, Ma.

(JANET and DAPHNE hug.)

DAPHNE Why are you so late?

JANET I had a class.

DAPHNE How can you coach losers when you are one?

JANET Oh, always the supportive mother. I mean, yeah, she supports Maureen.

MAUREEN Of course, she does.

JANET And they are not losers, the people that come to my seminars want to take control of their lives. Hey Jean you should come.

JEAN Me, why? I’m not a loser, am I?

JANET Kinda.

MAUREEN You could be.

(JEAN is stunned. JANET tries to open the lid from the pot. DAPHNE smacks JANET’s hand.)

JANET Ow you know what, you are abusive, that’s child abuse.

ANNE My fourth-grade teacher she actually offered to call Child Services cause she said that I was under duress to do well in life. It was abuse then; it’s abuse now.

JEAN Duress, Duress, Duress.

(DAPHNE and JANET leaves the kitchen.)

ANNE (to Daphne) I bet you poisoned the food.

DAPHNE Maureen, Bring the food.

MAUREEN Coming mommy.

MAUREEN Jean, I need you to toss the salad for me.

JEAN Why?

MAUREEN Just do what I tell you to do.

(MAUREEN leaves the kitchen.)

ANNE I swear that woman is gonna drive me to drink, I’m serious. It’s the only way I can get through dinners.

JEAN Same with mom.

(JEAN starts tossing the salad. ANNE pours a glass of wine and pours another for JEAN.)

ANNE So, you know I saw that doctor again, right?

JEAN And?

(JEAN sips her wine and continues tossing the salad.)

ANNE The usual. Except this time, it was in the rec room.

JEAN Oh okay.

(They toast each other.)

JEAN You know doctors are tricky.

JEAN In what way?

ANNE Well I think they know too much. He’s always talking about himself, he talks about Canadian healthcare being better than Obamacare, his workouts, what he eats, his nagging wife driving him crazy, just shit I don’t even care about. I just can’t stand it.

JEAN That’s what happened you date a married man or a married white man. So, this isn’t going anywhere?

ANNE Thanks a lot. You’re an effing killjoy man, I’m trying to get some hope from you here, you’re not reading that?

JEAN Ok sorry.

ANNE I thought writers are supposed to be imaginative.

JEAN (snickers) Nah-uh! Not this one!

ANNE Clearly.

(ANNE looks at the fridge filled with pictures.)

ANNE You know what makes me sick? She never puts pictures of me and my boyfriends up on the fridge.

JEAN Probably because they’re all married.

ANNE Hey that was just one. And I didn’t know he was lent out, at first. It was actually kind of convenient.

JEAN Convenient? You don’t mean that.

ANNE Doesn’t matter.

JEAN You’re still with a married man.

ANNE He’s separated from his wife.

JEAN Whatever.

(JEAN sips her wine.)

ANNE You know Jeremiah is too old for you right?

(ANNE sips her wine.)

JEAN Okay but he looks young for his age. And not married.

ANNE Really? And you know she only likes him because she thinks he’s lightening up the line. Because she thinks interracial kids are cuter. I blame British colonization. You do look like a Spindrift.

JEAN Again, what the hell is a Spindrift?

MAUREEN What are y’all doing?

JEAN Nothing just Tossing a salad like you told me to.

ANNE I’m helping her out.

MAUREEN What were y’all talking about?

JEAN & ANNE Nothing.

MAUREEN Jean, is that salad ready?

JEAN Yes! Looks like it.

MAUREEN Well Bring it to the table. Dinner’s ready.

ANNE Great cause I’m starving. Let’s go join them!

(JEAN carries the salad bowl to the table.)

DAPHNE Ah! Don’t sit down! Someone has to say grace. Anne?

ANNE Why don’t Jean say grace?

JEAN Uh sure. Ok.

JEAN Dear Lord God,

DAPHNE Close your eyes.

(JEAN close her eyes and say grace.)

JEAN Dear Lord God, Thank you for the food we about to eat, and for the hands that prepared it.

LISA And for Baby Jesus!

JEAN And for Baby Jesus! Amen!

FAMILY Amen!

(Family sits down and start to eat. GORDON enters and rings the doorbell.)

JEAN I’ll get it.

(JEAN gets up from the table, opens the door and sees GORDON.)

JEAN Can I help you sir?

GORDON Does Daphne still live here?

JEAN Grandma!

(JEAN lures GORDON in. GORDON clutches his chest. JEAN notices.)

JEAN (concern) Sir?

(GORDON passes out on the ground.)

JEAN Oh my God! Sir? Sir, you alright?

Oh my God! Grandma!

DAPHNE I know I hear. What is (stares) it?

DAPHNE (shocked) Oh my God!

JEAN He passed out. I don’t know if he is breathing. Grandma? Wh-

(DAPHNE faints.)

JEAN Grandma!!!

(The Whole Family gets up from the dinner table. They see DAPHNE and GORDON on the ground.)

MAUREEN (waking Daphne) Mom! Mama!

ANNE Jean, what happened?

JEAN I don’t know. They passed out. This guy passed out first and grandma did the same thing.

JANET I’ll go call 911.

(BLACKOUT. END OF SCENE ONE.)