Jasmine's Journey

Jasmine walked to her car doing her best not to let the weight of her feelings overwhelm her. It was a beautiful summer day. You could smell the rays of the sun in the air, warm, fresh and empowering.

She didn’t feel empowered today however; life’s events had taken her over the edge.

Dressed in her flowing, yellow, summer dress and golden sandals she looked beautiful and confident to anyone who saw her. Yet, contrary to the vibrant image she presented, on the inside she felt soggy, dull, and drab.

She was tired and disappointed, in herself, and the events that had happened in her life. Just as chips are lined up in a row of dominoes, she had planned her accomplishments one goal at a time...

Land her dream job as an art critic at a well respected company - domino up.

She’d met Kyle, the man of her dreams - domino up.

She and Kyle had placed a down payment on their perfect home - domino up.

She and Kyle had invested in saving for their future - domino up.

She’d submitted a proposal to her department heads outlining a campaign to mentor and promote promising up and coming artist, instead of just pointing out their artistic defects - domino up.

She’d felt so happy that things were finally lining up!

Unfortunately, it only takes one chip to fall to cause the others to follow. Each accomplishment suddenly dropped, one goal at a time, until all she saw was the fallen spread of the chain reaction…

Her fiancé leaving a note to say his dreams had changed and he was looking for something more - domino down.

The deposit on the house of their dreams was non-refundable - domino down.

Kyle had packed his bags and their savings that they both invested in and left - domino definitely down.

The proposal she had worked on for the last two months was rejected this morning - last domino.

The destructive effect was complete…

She opened the door to her car and slid into the driver’s seat. She was barely able to hold the tears back as she inserted the key into the ignition and drove towards the one place she felt at home.

Her mind kept running over her life like a detective looking for clues in a murder case. She felt like she had failed in everything. No matter how hard she tried - the outcome seemed determined to let her know she was not built to be successful. She was not meant to see or enjoy the rewards of her efforts.

She suddenly knew how Jane Austen felt.

Ms. Austen had worked so hard creating her stories, but never quite got the recognition she deserved while she was alive.

When Jasmine started her job, she never believed in the other more successful and generously paid critic’s methods. They enjoyed spinning pithy jabs at the artist who had placed their hearts and souls into their work.

Jasmine felt it was more important to point out the passion with which the artist depicted their work. She enjoyed seeing their shading techniques as a mystery that made the viewer stop to interpret how the images could fight their way out of the shadows and into the light.

She allowed her eyes to glide over the lines and curves like a highway leading the viewer to the proper destination. She saw the scope and life of the work as its own masterpiece. While there were points that needed to be addressed, she did not feel it was necessary to annihilate the beauty of the work while she highlighted the flaws.

She appreciated that it took time for the artist to craft the ability to fight against the doubt that they would never be good enough, and find the courage to just let the creation become what it was meant to be.

Her presentation's intention was to take the company to the next level in nurturing the artist and helping them produce what their work was meant to become. She thought she had made a solid argument showcasing the potential of her proposal.

She also thought she had a solid relationship and had made firm steps towards making her future meaningful with Kyle.

She’d thought wrong.

She wiped away a new stream of tears as she pulled into her mother’s driveway. She didn't bother to walk to the front door as she knew where her mother would be, so she continued following the path that led to nature’s artistry.

Her mother’s home was always a sanctuary, not just because it was her childhood home; but also for the garden full of blooms and fountains that created an oasis of peace and tranquility. It was a colorful work of art painted on the canvas of the land it grew on.

Roses, sunflowers and poppies as far the eye could see flirted and swayed in the breeze like dancers luring her to move to the flow of the music. She stopped suddenly and allowed the breeze and the flow of the garden to wrap her in its arms of beauty and tell her it was ok. She closed her eyes and breathed in the fresh warm air as if begging it to heal her wounded heart.

She opened her eyes and looked to the right and was greeted with the ocean of Marigold flowers that had always been a part of her mother’s garden. Shades of yellow, orange and red greeted her like a spray of possibilities. They were so colorful and cheerful that they seemed magical. Her mom always told her that they were a very resilient flower, and helped to protect the other flowers from fungi and insects.

She reached down to touch a tiny bloom.

“I wish you could help me now.” She murmured to them.

“Hello darling!” She heard her mother’s voice which snapped her out of her reverie.

She stood straight and saw her mother coming towards her with her arms outstretched. She ran into them needing to feel her mother’s love around her. She'd only meant to stop by and sit with her in the garden just to take her mind off things; but being in this garden where she had formed most of her dreams, and her mom’s comforting arms around her, caused tears to flow instantly.

“Sweetheart, what’s wrong?” Her mother held her tighter.

Jasmine was always close to her mom, especially since her dad had passed several years before.

“I feel like everything’s falling apart. I feel like such a failure.” Jasmine whispered, pulling away to look down at the ground as though she were ashamed to let her mother see her.

“Jasmine...” her mother began as she placed a finger under her daughters chin and raised her face to look at her.

“What we call failure is only a shift in direction to put us on the path that we belong. You are not a failure.”

She led her daughter to a table facing the garden in all of its beauty.

Jasmine sat down and tried to compose herself as her mother went in to get tea.

When she returned, her mother poured their tea and sat down across from her.

“You want to talk about it?” She asked after Jasmine had taken a sip.

It took a moment for Jasmine to begin, but she eventually told her mother of all the events that had taken place.

“I can’t understand why he would take everything! I get that he took his portion of our savings if he was leaving, but why would he take mine as well? I worked so hard to save that for our future. I believed in him! I feel so stupid!”

“You are not stupid sweetheart. You simply fell in love with the person he showed you he was. You didn’t know he was capable of being the person he turned out to be.” Her mother laid a comforting hand on hers.

“What he did, he made a choice to do. You can’t be responsible for someone else’s choices and it is never stupid to love. You loved him with an open heart and that is a gift that everyone should receive. If he couldn’t see that in you, then that is his problem, not yours.”

“That’s true mom, but it still hurts. And everything else has fallen apart too. I don’t know how I will keep going forward. I feel so unmotivated and defeated.” Jasmine stood up from the table and walked over to the Marigold flowers splayed before her. Her mother followed.

“I used to think they were magical when I was young.” Jasmine said indicating the cheerful blooms.

“I thought some of their magic was in me. Something else I got wrong." She finished in disgust.

“Jasmine…” her mother said after a moment. “ Do you know why I always kept fresh Marigolds in your room when you were growing up?”

“I thought it was just because they were pretty.”

“No.” her mother began. They are pretty, but they are so much more than that. They are not only protectors for the other flowers in the garden by repelling bugs and insects, but they have a variety of healing properties as well. They have been known to treat several ailments like rashes, and pain and swelling, the list goes on. They are healers.”

Jasmine looked at her mom wondering where this was going.

“They start from a tiny seed and they work with the earth and the sun to pull the nutrients they need. If you look at a flower or a plant there are little veins that run through it that nurtures the plant and give it life. Once the flowers bloom, they protect and provide healing for other living things. Do you think it is easy for a small plant to break through the ground and pull nourishment in order to grow into what it is meant to be? Winds, storms, droughts, all happen and try to stop the life from thriving, to make it die, but it pushes through regardless. It fights through those obstacles and gives us the beauty we have the pleasure of seeing before us.” She gestured out towards the beautiful rainbow of colors.

“Some can appreciate the beauty, others overlook it, but it is still just as beautiful regardless.”

She turned her daughter to face her. “You are just as beautiful regardless. You have always tried to protect, and heal others through your kindness, through your encouragement, and yes, through your love. Some will see that beauty in you and some will not, but it doesn’t stop you from flourishing and blooming against the odds into the person you are meant to be. They are magical and you are magical, because you both heal those that you come in contact with. I placed them in your room so that you would never forget that. Don’t forget that now.” She smiled at her daughter with all the hope and pride in the world.

Jasmine hugged her mom with love and tears. She had never thought of it that way. She just saw everything going wrong. It was going to be hard of course, but like the Marigold flowers, she was going to break through the obstacles.

“Thanks mom.” She said pulling away to look at her mother.

“What would I do without you?”

“Continue to fight through the storms.” Her mother replied. She put her arm around her daughter as they walked back to the table.

“I love you Mom.”

“I love you too Jazzy." Her mother said playfully using her childhood nickname.

“Where are you going?” her mother asked as it looked like Jasmine was leaving.

“To make new plans, it’s time to reset the dominos.” She said with a smile as she pulled one perfect Marigold flower out of a vase on the table and tucked it in her hair.

It was time to make magic….