Into the Abyss.

My third-eye, tingles, bringing with the sensation an expanded sense of awareness to that of my immediate environment. My surroundings, suddenly become clearer, like when the ripples settle upon a body of water and the contents beneath are revealed to that of the naked eye. The air, settles into an eruption of stillness, as though the entirety of the world has become solidified within the abyss of complete silence. My ears, sharpen to the voice of the person of whom in which is speaking, enhancing the channelling of my expanded awareness into that which they are saying. It is as though I can hear that of two conversations being had at once. One, to which the speaker is aware and the other to which, they are not.

I remember the first time in which I heard the universe speak to me through that of another person. My youngest daughter was only a baby at the time. My ex was working away with my father and we decided to spend a couple of weeks at the location in which they were staying during the school holidays, so to be closer to him. I had already intuited that my ex had been gaslighting me to that of his work colleagues and this became even more apparent, when I was in that of their presence. Then one night, one of his work colleagues got a little too close to me for that of my ex’s liking and they ended up in a brawl.

Whist I was there, I would deliver surprise coffee's to my ex and his work at their work sight. I cleaned and helped my father make that of their lunches and their dinner. The small bomb fire was lit almost every night and whilst the boys got on the booze, I would tend to the kids and then join them. On one particular night, I decided that I wanted to dance and so, I cranked up the music and let myself loose. Later in the evening, one of his work friends was telling a story about two sisters in which he knew. He described them as complete opposites, saying that one was a psycho and liked to fight and that she would lie and fill people’s heads with bullshit about that of her sister, who was actually a really sweet person whom just loved to dance. There was a lot more detail to the story than this and of course, this man had no clue to the confirmation in which he was gifting me through that of his sharing. I could tell that he was genuine within that of his story and that in no way, was any part of him consciously referring to that of my ex and I. However, the underlying message for me was loud and clear. The following morning, I simply acquainted the experience to being that of mere coincidence. The synchronicities in my life had expanded since giving birth to my third, powerful little soul of a cherub, and I simply believed that this was just another expression of this. Little did I realise however, that this was only the first energetic upgrade of a profound, impending initiation into that of a new, psychic gift.

Over the next few months, these happenings became louder and they would only ever present when I was not able to completely trust in that which I was intuiting. With the occurrences being so left of field though, most of the time I simply shrugged them off. With no form of confirmation about that which my ex was doing, I held no right to accuse him of anything. That is until one night when one of his mates was visiting our place, I received the conscious validation that which I needed, of my ex’s gaslighting. Although this time, the universe did not need to speak to me through that of his friends unconscious information, for this man was extremely aware of that which he was informing me of.

The week before, I was lying in bed next to my ex and my entire body began trembling, before breaking out into a full blown convulsion. I knew that I was safe, however the experience was unnerving nether the less. My ex said to me, “What are you doing, would you fucking stop that!” I told him that I had no control over it and that it would pass soon, knowing that to try to explain to him that I was receiving an upgrade of my vessel would be futile anyway. He hated my spirituality and mocked my experiences with every chance that he had. Anyway, a week later, whist I was standing in the garage with him and his mate whilst my ex fixed his vehicle, his friend says to me, “Hey Shaniquah. I experienced this weird thing the other day where I was lying in bed and my body started to shake.” Now, this particular friend had always been interested in my spirituality and loved hearing about my experiences, much to my ex’s disgust, of course. I look at my ex, who glares at his friend and then looks back to that which he is doing. I then bring my attention back to that of his friend and say, “Its ok. You’re not alone. Many people are experiencing these shifts at present. It happened to me last week, too.” Of course, I knew that he hadn’t actually experienced this and was inquiring into something in which my ex had maliciously disclosed. “You don’t need to be scared of it,” I continue, “it is just and energetic download and the vessel needs to be rewired in order to accommodate that of the new energy coming in.” His mate then looks over at my ex, whom will not look at either of us, then looks back to me and says, “Yeah. That makes a lot more sense.” From this moment forward, any doubts in which I held about the universe speaking to me in this regard, were removed.

That is, until Zabian discovered that I could do this. Before this, my new found gift had grown and expanded over a period of about twelve months. It would present itself when I was doubting myself, or if I simply needed some comforting into something in which was bothering me. It was as though the universe extended that of its hand to mine, empowering my ability to trust within myself and my intuition. It became a resounding source of reassurance and had become one of my most solid guides, for during the times in which I needed a little bit of extra assistance to navigate through not only that of my intuitive impressions pertaining to certain situations, but also through that of my psychic potential itself. I found consolidation in my new gift. It was fascinating to me and I would spend hours talking to my guides about the potentiality of that of its initiation into that of my psyche could eventually entail, imagining all of the miraculous ways in which it could further evolve.

One day, when I was sitting with my youngest daughter watching the television, the conversation being had on the show in which we were watching was in regard to a girl whom had hidden an intense experience from that of her loved ones. The television show was describing that of a negative experience. However, my immediate thoughts were centred around that of my new, amazing psychic ability. One of the people then asked the girl if she remembered the first time this experience had happened to her, as it was something to which repetition had unfortunately occurred. This of course got me to ponder on the first time in which I experienced my gift in this way. My daughter, then proceeds to grab the side of my cheek with her little hand, before pulling that of my face toward her own and says to me, “I gave you that, didn’t I mummy?” I was utterly blown away, as my gift had initiated into that of my awareness, not long after, I had given birth to my beautiful little angel. With the realisation apparent, tears welled in my eyes. I pulled her tiny body in close to me and affirmed, "Yes baby. You did. Thank-you."

Now, the gift that which was once such a loyal guide, is now my fucking ongoing mental nightmare. I just want it to go back to the way in which it was before he became aware of this within me. Before he without invitation, submerged himself into my life in this way. Before he interfered with my personal process of individuation. It was beautiful before. It was mine. It was my little secret with that of the universe. Nobody needed to know about it. I didn’t even tell my best friend that I could do this. I miss this. I miss feeling as though I can trust in the messages in which the universe is delivering to me in this way because I know without a shadow of a doubt, that it is indeed that of the universe whom is delivering the messages. I am so angry that he took this away from me. I am so unbelievably hurt that he destroyed this part of me. And, I cannot help but to still wonder, although now from a place of sorrow, how this gift would have further evolved, if it were not for that of his interference? I wonder to what I would be capable of today, if my gift continued to unravel naturally within me, organically expanding itself throughout that of my conscious evolution without, the hijacked exploitation of a man-made conviction?

ThankYOU for taking the time to read that of my story, BeYOUtiful Soul. If It captivated You and You would like to explore more of Shaniquah's Journey, let me Know by tapping on the Heart-shaped button and showing me some Love, then head over to my Personal profile to delve Deeper InTo that of Shaniquah's World. If You Feel Called to offer Your Support to my Journey as a Writer, please feel free to tap on the tip button, also. All proceeds Are very much Valued and Appreciated, and Will go toward the Creation of my first novel. Infinite Love and Gratitude, Lollie.

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