Insomnia worldwide

"The actual fact is that you can't even use a small number to pay attention to the Karaoke account that you don't often log into.

The actual fact is that you can find a lot of people who are not able to get a good deal on a lot of things.

I closed my eyes and his face came back to my mind, his name was a secret that I didn't dare to mention to others throughout my youth.

We met very early, in elementary school, we are the same table, we play and play every day, whispering in front of the teacher's eyes, I will give him a problem in class, he will give me a retarded magic trick at the end of class, happy.

The fact that my feelings for him were sprouting at this ignorant age was very much like an enviable childhood sweetheart, right? But the reality wasn't like that.

It was all a one-man show, and I was the only actor who got into it the most.

When we got to junior high school, I was so excited when I found out that he was going to another school and I got into the same school. On the day of registration, I stood under the class table with his name on it and waited for a long time under the hottest sun at the end of August, just to meet him by chance and pretend to look surprised and say, "Wow! You're at this school too!" He laughed and didn't say anything.

In fact, now that I think about it, it was always me who was too enthusiastic, and in the eyes of the other party, I was just an ordinary classmate that I used to know, that's all.

After that, except for a hasty encounter in the crowded school, we rarely crossed paths. I've always been a good girl like a girl, so throughout my student days I studied diligently, as well as carefully like him.

So the gap between us is getting bigger and bigger, the intersection is getting less and less, until finally I feel that I for him, is already a stranger.

But I, in the afterglow, point by point, are him. Our relationship is like the saying: he is the background of your life, and you are his A B C D.

Pictures

The summer day of my junior year, I was standing under the big elm tree at school waiting for a friend, and the noisy robins were chirping incessantly, making people extra irritable.

I raised my eyes, just in time to see him pass by, and as usual still dazzling, except that his right shoulder for some reason wrapped a bandage, just when I was worried about thinking, my friend came over, she quietly said to me, "Alas, you know, just that boy, it seems that the day before yesterday because of a girl and classmates fighting, was injured, tsk, tsk, this is love ah ......"

I a tinnitus, followed by a soreness in the heart, and then what my friend said I did not listen to now do not remember, I only know that at that time I felt in my heart, worried, hard, angry, jealous, helpless ...... I am not even a friend of the identity, in their own hearts staged a sad drama, as if the whole world is sunny, but I am raining.

That night when I got home, I hid under the covers and cried for a long time.

Someone once said, if you really like someone, how can you hide it.

Yes, although I was careful, although I was moderate, although I was timid and shy, but in the restlessness of adolescent feelings, I also plucked up the courage to confess to him in an anonymous way, on a very simple sentence, I like you.

Still very wimpy, right, but if you also have a crush on a person, you know that it has been very difficult. Of course, the final result was no response, but this was already extraordinarily satisfying for me at the time.

Fear of you knowing, and fear of you not knowing, is a perfect description of the state of mind at that time.

Later, after high school, probably because his grades were not very good, he went to a very isolated school in our area, and we never saw each other again.

High school was a rush every day, time flowing like water, we were all starry-eyed rushers. I was sometimes so busy that I had to wait for a haircut until about eleven o'clock after the evening study session, in the small store downstairs to settle in a hurry.

The night after the sophomore exam, I remember it was particularly cold, I shivered and walked into the barber store, like a product on an assembly line, and let the barber cut my bangs to the uniform height of the school, under the roar of the hair dryer, fatigue I drifted off to sleep.

That's when a couple came in laughing and giggling, and I lifted my heavy eyelids and ran right into his laughing eyes from the mirror that hadn't yet dissipated.

I just felt my face heat up instantly, and was just very glad that the dry heat of the hair dryer helped me hide the embarrassing blush.

He was holding a girl's hand in the mirror with a look of tenderness and sweetness, and I instantly lowered my head, as I always do, in an effort to lower my presence.

But he kept staring at me, and after a moment of silence, he said to me, "Eh, didn't we used to be classmates?"

All the beautiful illusions about him in my heart were all shattered.

Classmates ...... These two words let me know that all those wonderful youthful love stories that had played out in my mind were due to come to an end.

I nodded and smiled, "It seems like it."

After paying in a hurry, I fled this ridiculous and pathetic reunion.

I don't know what other people's crushes are like; mine, wishful thinking, ended without a hitch.

Pictures

One day much later, a friend suddenly said to me: "I heard XX say that you once confessed to him, really?"

I instantly froze, it turns out, he knows ah, he always knew ......

I held back my tears and laughed and said, "Haha, how is that possible, we are just classmates, he, jokingly, hahahaha."

Fear that you know, fear that you do not know, fear that you know but pretend not to know.

I can't help it, wishful thinking, we must be willing to gamble to lose, time can heal everything, I feel that I can also slowly let go, but, now the phone is still in the cycle of his song and what is it?

Perhaps, such feelings will never be released, it has taken root in the heart, even if you try to pull it out, it scattered seeds will grow again, every gust of wind blowing, it dances and sways, reminding you of its existence. The only thing you can do is try not to think about it and touch it.

At 2:30 a.m., I continued to listen to him sing Eason Chan's "Insomnia Around the World" and lost sleep completely.

I went to my memo and found something I had written on a similarly insomniac night.

Through the hall wind around the corner of the stairs

There is no smell of summer

The cicadas seem to be a boring joke

Reminding me of your words in the mirror

I think we know each other

You took the girl's coat by the corner

Kissed the tip of her hair

I tugged at the corner of my mouth

My heart laughs at my pathetic manners

That blue letter

Did you get it?

While you were sleeping in class

Carefully placed in your right pocket

No name or markings

Three years ago at the school in the north of the city

You always carried a satchel

Bicycle weaving in and out of the wind whistling

Running to the empty desk on my left

I was glad I wasn't late.

You looked at me and raised your eyebrows

With a smile in your eyes

I smoothed my hair

The sun was just warm enough that day

That blue letter

You must not have received it

Mom said you were still young

Love is just a joke to you

That blue letter

I finally burned it

Now I'm not young anymore

Watching countless images danced in front of me

Those that are gone can no longer be found