Indefensible

It was nice while it lasted. For a time I believed they trusted me. For a time I thought myself worthy of that trust. To be fair, I really did try. I kept my abilities and better judgement at bay in pursuit of a more ordinary life amongst those content with an inexplicable degree of mediocrity, considering their own individualised power. After all, they had welcomed me in when those for whom I had dedicated my life abandoned me; thrown me to the wolves so to speak. It was in less than pleasant company that my habit of charming and bending the feeble minds of others to my whim had finally caught up to me. In my carelessness, I had become the perfect scapegoat for a corrupt institution. Even so, this strange, mismatched group of travellers gave me the benefit of the doubt and offered me a new path; one which I was in no position to decline. Somehow they were willing to look beyond the picture that had been painted by ones with far more prestige than myself.

As a child my intuition and influence extended well beyond the expected realm of possibility. I could control the actions of my peers at age five and was able to puppet adults from across a crowded room by my thirteenth birthday. It kept me alive more times than I could count, but it got me into trouble almost as often. Overconfidence is a tempting trap, one that I admittedly have fallen into more than once. I will never forget the soul crushing fear that captured my heart the first time someone held their wits in spite of my power. I learned then that these gambles I had been taking were not for the faint of heart. The fury they unleashed upon me that day left me close to dead. It turns out people don’t like their minds being messed with.

Life was different when I set out with my...saviours. In the seemingly safe arms of these new compatriots, I suppressed my baser instincts to fit in with their motley crew. The temptation to flip an internal switch to get my way each time I had simple desire, or found myself on the counter side of an argument, it always bubbled beneath the surface. For months, however, I managed to hold my nerve and be the person they were so sure I could be. If only we could have seen eye to eye on this one little thing. Perhaps this could have all been handled differently.

Watching them now, their faces slack and their eyes dazed, I somehow both pity and admire them. Their optimism and blind faith is something I will always cherish in my memories. The confused whispers shift and swirl in an incessant cacophony as those I so recently called friends try to release themselves from my mental grasp. I watch my favourite of them, the one who spoke for me first, absently packing my suitcase. It is unsettling to see him removed from his body in such a way and I can hear him clanging against his cell within my mind. I’d let myself believe it wouldn’t come to this. His pain and disbelief cause my heart to ache for them all. I am steadied only by the knowledge that I will release them once I am far enough away that they cannot follow.

As I collect my packed case and head for the door, I take one last look at those who meant so much to me. With a final farewell I hope ever so deeply that we will meet again, and that maybe, just maybe, they’ll forgive this indefensible indiscretion.