In the Beginning

“In the beginning there was God...”

Woah woah wait! Nah. I’m telling this one.

I am called Lucifer.

Before God made the Earth, God made the angels.

We were able to see everything and be everywhere on Earth at all times.

In order to get this point across to humans in a literal way, we often appeared to humans as strange and terrifying beings with many eyes and several pairs of wings.

We also appeared this way because, believe it or not, Heaven is quite boring compared to Earth and the humans’ reactions to the unsightly specters were almost too good to resist for us bored, ethereal beings.

In fact, before humanity was created, angels looked similar to humans. With the exception of course being that angels had this beautiful warm glow around their bodies that radiated their soul energy.

And then the fall happened.

Angels that fell to Earth had to learn to hide their ethereal energies because humans wouldn’t understand it. And when humans don’t understand something… we’ll let’s just say angels don’t live very long on Earth.

The most beautiful and beloved of the angels was known as “The Light Bringer.”

That’s me. Lucifer.

I sat at the right hand of God throughout the creation of the entire solar system.

I watched in awe as the thunder of God’s voice summoned forth the Sun, the planets (like Earth), and all the animals therein.

But one day God looked to me and said, “My friend, I am going to make Adam. He will be strong and he will be the caretaker of this world that I have created.”

“That sounds like a fabulous idea. Earth deserves to have a strong caretaker.” I said as I watched God’s hands pull the elements from the earth.

God formed Adam with ease. Each wave of the hand formed a new and exciting part of the one designed to care for this beautiful new planet.

“Are you sure strength is enough? Shouldn’t he be caring and empathetic to life as well?” I asked.

I was always allowed to ask questions of God.

“Of course,” God laughed, “unlike Earth, I was not born yesterday.”

And with a wave of the hand, God formed Lilith from the same elements that were used for Adam. “Adam will need a companion. She is made of the Earth, just as himself, so she will be a worthy partner for him.”

“Splendid!” I exclaimed in joy. Everything God had made so far had been so majestic and amazing that I didn’t care that God had only made two for the entire planet.

I figured surely God had made humans with enough intelligence, compassion, and strength to take care of Earth, so I excused myself from God’s creation chamber and went for a stroll by the crystal seas.

As I watched the sunset stretch across the crystal sea for the sixth time since its creation, I pondered Earth and its new caretakers.

“Luci!” A voice called from the south. I turned to see my dear brother, Michael, calling to me with a letter in their hand.

Michael was a bit like God’s, “head of security.” What the heavens would need protected from, I had no idea, but I went along with it anyway since it seemed to give Michael a purpose beyond following me around and punching me in the arm.

“This is from The Lord God. Your counsel is needed for something. Apparently Adam is unhappy with his mate,” Michael said.

“That doesn’t sound good,” I said and started south when Michael called, “ Hey wait!”

I hesitated and then turned to Michael who asked, “Did the Almighty say when the special mission would start?”

“Not yet, I’m afraid. The Lord God is still working on getting Earth built first. It is close to being done though; The Almighty is working on the caretakers now,” I said.

“Caretakers? What caretakers? Can’t this world run itself like the others?”, Michael scoffed.

“Well I’d imagine The Lord God did so in order to protect Earth from another ‘Bornog’ situation. You remember the Bornogs, right Michael?” I asked.

“I do. Great species. They had amazing pies.” Michael said firmly as they crossed their arms.

The Bornogs were originally Michael’s idea. They were designed to be population control for other planet life that God had created in the universe.

They were designed to eat, sleep, and breathe destruction as a means to regulate unruly planet life that proved to be inferior to its purpose. Instead, before they could discover space travel, they ate themselves. Literally.

They were so ravenous with the hunger for destruction that they’d get a group of themselves together to go slaughter their neighbors and then to celebrate, they’d kill and eat the folks that helped them do it.

I rolled my eyes and turned to walk away.

“Hey, see you at supper!” Michael called out. I waved, but did not turn around, as I walked back to the creation chamber.

As I entered the room, God’s voice thundered, “UNGRATEFUL!”

I stopped and watched as God flipped a desk over and stormed toward the far window.

“May I help, Almighty?” I asked calmly.

“Can you teach these humans about appreciation?! Because I seem to be at a loss!” God thundered at me.

“What’s happened, My Lord?” I sat upon a soft bed of pincushion moss next to the large, round window overlooking the crystal sea.

“I gave Adam Lilith but he is not satisfied. He wants someone to obey him as THEY are to obey ME!” God huffed.

“Oh I see…” I pondered, “Well what were you thinking, My Lord?”

“I tried to talk to Lilith about it but she has grown to hate him now. She insists he is the worst part of the soil I could have picked to create man with,” God said, infuriated.

“Was she right?” I asked, genuinely. God has always allowed me to ask questions like this. The Almighty created me to aid in their own self reflection. Basically I was created to tell “God’s honest truth.”

God looked down at the stone floor and then out the window again, “No…He can redeem himself.”

“So what do you plan to do, Almighty?” I asked.

God looked at me, “I have created man and his equal. Now man wants more to rule over and I-“

“Rule? My Lord God, I thought you said man was the caretaker of Earth?” I asked, befuddled.

God sighed, “Adam says he needs more.”

“More? What more? He has quite literally everything in the world,” I asked, puzzled.

God sighed again, “maybe I made him too ambitious for the life of a caretaker.”

I was silent for a minute. Then I asked, “So what will you do? You can’t expect Lilith to lower herself to fit Adam’s need to feel powerful.”

God nodded, “Yes, I know. I will have to give her a life away from Adam. Outside of the garden.”

I thought for a moment, “but won’t she need a companion? She is the only other human beyond Adam.”

God paused to think for a moment and then replied, “I will make more humans for her and they can live outside the garden. I feel if anyone can be the proper caretaker for Earth, it is her.”

“Very well, but what about Adam? You told him he could rule, apparently.” I asked.

“I think I may need to keep Adam in the garden. He may be too destructive to take care of the… well.. he’s a bit like Michael,” God said.

“So what will you do, Almighty?” I glared at the Garden while Adam masturbated with an orange.

“I will create another human. But this time I will make her out of Adam himself.” God said, pointing an almighty finger to Adam.

I turned my face to God with the same puzzled look as before and asked, “of Adam? Is it because, that way, without him she would always be tied to him and could be made to feel obligated to serve him? But, My Lord God, that’s…”

“Manipulation. Yes,” the Lord stared triumphantly at Adam, who then threw the used orange at a grazing rabbit.

I stared at Adam in horror, “My Lord, wouldn’t you say it may not be in Earth’s best interest to feed into such desires? Especially in such a… primitive creation?”

God walked to the overturned desk and placed it properly, “Luci, you always speak the truth as you see it.”

“Yes, that is how the Lord My God hath made me,” I watched as Adam began ripping up the roses for daring to cut his finger when he grabbed it by the thorns.

“Adam is clearly wrong for caretaker, but for protector he is a good fit. And protectors need to remain happy to keep their morale,” God sat down at the desk and waved a gracious hand at me, beckoning me closer.

“Yes, My Lord God, but-“

“If Adam can be satisfied, Earth will be both safe and loved. Now tell them to prepare the feast. Earth is complete,” with the wave of a hand, the Lord God pulled a rib from Adam, and formed Eve.

“As My Lord God commands,” I bowed deeply and retreated swiftly down the hall and into the long night.