If You Didn’t Run Alone

I’m running…

I don’t know where…

But, I’m running…

I feel my body exhausted and pouring sweat…

While my heart feels steady and at ease…

The world around me is quiet and still…

Only the trees seem to be moving…

The sun above me is beaming and hot…

My legs feel strong, but achey…

Nothing right now seems to make sense…

But at this moment, I am not afraid…

I stop, and look down to the ground…

This road feels familiar…

No sidewalks like in my city…

But, it’s like I’ve seen this road before…

I just don’t know when…

Behind me I hear footsteps…

They’re running right towards me…

I wonder if this is why I’m running…

The sun is blocking their face from my view…

I can only see their muscular figure…

It’s like I’m trying to focus in on an angel…

Then, I hear their voice…

You’re quitting on me already?

He stops in front of me, and I feel like we’ve met…

His smile makes my heart tremble inside…

I can’t explain the hurt, anger, and sorrow taking over…

My heart begins to beat faster…

I don’t know what this means…

I don’t know what to say to him…

How did I get here?

He smiles and shakes his head…

He puts his hands on my shoulders…

Like a big brother would do to his sibling…

You asked to run with me to Satilla Shores, remember?

I feel like I’ve heard of that place before…

But, it’s not in Wisconsin…

There‘s nothing like that where I’m from…

I try to think back…

I last remember being trapped inside my bedroom…

I remember quarantine feeling like the end of the world…

I remember the pandemic spreading fear…

I remember falling to my knees and watching a video…

And then walking to grab my shoes…

Whispering something over and over…

I look to him confused…

Wait, I asked to run with you?

His smile turns to concern…

He looks up at the sun…

And then he turns back down to me…

I think this Georgia sun is getting to you!

I nod, and try to collect my thoughts…

Then, I realize what he said…

This is a Georgia sun…

So, I’m not in my bedroom…

And I’m not even in Wisconsin…

I’m in Georgia somehow…

Before I can think more, a rumbling sound forces us to turn our heads…

Through the heatwaves we can see a truck approaching in the distance…

He quickly begins running again…

He motions for me to follow…

I push my heavy legs and continue…

Watching behind me towards the truck…

And swiftly in front towards him…

More and more I feel dizzy…

How did I get here…

I begin to run faster…

I want to get closer to him…

Closer to him and further from the truck…

I need to ask him what is happening…

I begin to scream for him to stop…

But the rumbling of the truck begins to rev louder…

I can’t get his attention at all…

WE SHOULDN’T BE HERE!

I scream more…

The more we travel, the more my anxiety grows…

The more I shout, the more my energy is depleted…

I try to yell one more time, but my legs give out…

I fall and smash my body on the road…

I reach for him, but he fades more and more…

It’s like the heatwaves capture him…

The truck gets closer and closer to me…

I roll as fast I can off the road towards the grass…

It speeds past me, and then vanishes…

I slowly struggle to get up…

Dehydrated, bleeding, and blinded by the sun…

I limp forward trying to remember…

What was I doing before I got here…

What video was I watching…

Why did I go get my shoes…

Why did I ask to run with him…

Then, I hear a loud pop…

I stop, and listen to it echo through the trees…

I limp forward more, dragging my body as my hands shake…

I hear another pop scare away the birds in the sky…

This one closer and louder than before…

Now, I can see that truck…

The truck now blocking the road…

And men fighting on the ground…

I struggle to run towards them…

Ignoring my safety, my pain, and my fears…

This all feels too familiar to stand back and watch again…

I scream and yell for them to stop hurting him…

I sense what could happen next…

I shout as loud as I can a name I’ve said only once before…

While watching a video in my bedroom…

AHMAUD! AHMAUD!

Then, there’s one last pop…

I freeze…

Everything gets quieter…

Fuzzier and hazier…

I fall down to my knees…

I see the truck speed away…

I feel my breathing getting shallower…

I roll down to the hot cement…

I see a muscular figure run towards me…

The sun is blocking their face from my view…

It’s like I’m trying to focus in on an angel…

He comes closer, and I remember…

I faintly hear him ask me a question…

Why did you ask to run with me?

I struggle to find my words…

I can picture myself back in quarantine…

Watching a video that broke my heart…

Watching a video of him dying…

Me grabbing my shoes from my closet…

Whispering something over and over…

Then I push out the words I whispered…

I wished you never were alone, Ahmaud.

As the world around me fades to black…

And you don’t have to run from them anymore…